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When you..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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488
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MURPHY'S Lesser Known Laws..
(Preview)
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.He who laughs last, thinks slowest.A day without sunshine is like, well, night.Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented foo...
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0
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484
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A doctor and a lawyer..
(Preview)
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer: What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advic...
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0
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387
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Exhausted..
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aussie_paul
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0
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415
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The Spitfire Pilot..
(Preview)
A World War II Spitfire pilot is speaking in a church and reminiscing about his war experiences. "In 1942, the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember, one day, I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these Fokkers appeared!"There are a few...
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0
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442
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Front legs??
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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435
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Not funny..
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aussie_paul
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0
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426
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A huge...
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aussie_paul
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0
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373
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Thoughts from the shower….
(Preview)
* If you attempt to rob a bank you wont have any trouble with rent/food bills for the next 10 years, whether or not you are successful.* Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?* What if my dog only brings back my ball because he thinks I like throwing it?* If poison expires, is it more poisonous...
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aussie_paul
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1
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807
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Best man..
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0
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459
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PC..
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aussie_paul
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2
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710
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A man walks in to a bar..
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aussie_paul
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1
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529
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An old pensioner..
(Preview)
An old pensioner walked up to a parking officer putting a ticket on the windscreen.You blokes are all the same: you never give a pensioner a break! Pack of bastards!Oh yeah? said the officer. Cop this, and wrote out another ticket with the first.Typical! said the pensioner, your mother probably work...
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aussie_paul
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0
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491
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Me..
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aussie_paul
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0
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380
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An elderly couple..
(Preview)
An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighbourhood after they retired.Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd sha...
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aussie_paul
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0
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291
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There are no fish under the ice..
(Preview)
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on thesubject,and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice.After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed,"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE I...
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0
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313
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Woman stops 4 meter crocodile with .22 pistol!..
(Preview)
Cairns Woman Stops Crocodile Attack Using a small .22 caliber Ruger Pistol." (Another good reason to have a concealed weapons permit).This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.Here's her story in her own words: "Wh...
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0
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343
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** Beware **
(Preview)
I ordered Chinese from a local place (won't name them) and went to pick it up.As I was driving home, I heard the bags rustling and moving!!!I thought what on earth is that? Has something gotten into the bag?I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out.I was driving so I pulled over and leaned for...
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0
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415
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Swat team..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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351
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Love in the Aisle..
(Preview)
Love in the AisleI'll never forget how happy I was when I saw my missus walking down the aisle towards me. My heart was beating fast and the excitement was unbearable. It seemed to take an age, but eventually, there she was, standing beside me.I gave her a loving smile and said, Get that trolley over here...
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0
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287
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