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An old married couple..
(Preview)
An old married couple have just watched a documentary program about what happens to elderly people enduring a long and difficult decline towards death.Well, that makes you think, doesnt it dear? he says.Well what are you thinking? she asks.He sighs. Promise me that if ever I am dependent upon a mach...
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aussie_paul
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0
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654
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Never text a confession..
(Preview)
Never text a confessionTHE CONFESSIONHi Bob, This is Alan next door. Im sorry buddy, but I have a confession to make to you. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling in text as I cant live with myself...
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aussie_paul
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0
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552
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t’s frightening true..
(Preview)
Its frightening true.Surgery- not joking much...Boy, if this doesn't hit the nail on the head, I don't know what does!..Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint.Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.The FIRST patient is examined wi...
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aussie_paul
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1
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703
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What would you rather have..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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601
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On Line Dating..
(Preview)
On Line DatingA man was feeling lonely, so after much contemplation, he posted an ad on a popular website.The ad said, simply: Wife wanted.He was surprised the next morning to find he had over a hundred replies in his inbox.Unfortunately, they all said the same thing: You can have mine.
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aussie_paul
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0
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587
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A group of Victorians..
(Preview)
A group of Victorians were travelling by Tour Bus through Hervey Bay.As they stopped at the Dairy Co-Op, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goats' milk was used.She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing."These", she explained, "A...
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aussie_paul
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0
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602
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SCREW LOOSE
(Preview)
Some not so nice person the other day told me I had a screw loose. I told him 'no I don't, it fell out'
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Dougwe
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0
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587
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I hope..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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2
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796
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Ma & Pa and the outhouse
(Preview)
Ma and Pa were two old hillbillies living out on a farm in the hills.One day, Pa discovered that the hole under the outhouse was full. Not sure what to do, he went inside and told Ma about the problem.Well, why dont you ask the youngun down the road? Ma suggested. Hes a college gradjyate, he must know what t...
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Southern Cruizer
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0
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558
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tragedy..
(Preview)
Donald visits an elementary school one day.In one of the classes, students are in the middle of a discussion about words and their meanings.The teacher asks Donald if hed like to lead the discussion of the word tragedy.He agrees to do so and asks the class for an example of a tragedy.One little boy Ron s...
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aussie_paul
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2
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822
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Life before computors..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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629
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Power..
(Preview)
Standing here all alone out in the country airSome may find the life lonely but I don't careI enjoy my own company and do what I willNot until I am dead will I then lay stillEverywhere a new adventure every week a new spotThis country of ours it has got the lotFrom cities to towns and everywhere in betweenI...
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aussie_paul
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0
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713
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An avid golfer..
(Preview)
An avid golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him."I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!""Oh God no!" cries the man. "My golfing is over...
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aussie_paul
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0
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600
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It, does your head in.
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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636
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A woman..
(Preview)
A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor.The doctor says "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's theproblem?" The mother says, "It's my daughter, Debbie. Shekeeps getting these cravings. She's putting onweight, and is sick most mornings."The doctor gives Debbie a good examination, thenturns to...
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aussie_paul
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0
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602
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Colonoscopy..
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I have had to get my laptop serviced(new SDD etc.) Now there a few little quirks for me to adjust too. Pics on the forum are still a problem for me atm. Being nervous, and embarrassed about my upcoming colonoscopy,On a recommendation, I decided to have it done while visiting friends in Thai...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1032
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Golf
(Preview)
A man was out on the golf course one sunny day when he suddenly realized he was lost. Spotting a woman ahead of him, he walked over and asked, Excuse me, could you help me? Im not sure which hole Im on.She smiled politely and said, Youre one hole behind me. Im on the 7th; youre on the 6th.Relieved, he thanked...
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Southern Cruizer
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0
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717
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RN
(Preview)
Royal Navy AnnouncementHaving initially named the first two ships HMS Daring and HMS Dauntless, the Naming Committee has, after intensive pressure from the European Union in Brussels, renamed them HMS Cautious and HMS Prudence.The next five ships are to be HMS Empathy, HMS Circumspect, HMS Nerv...
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rgren2
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4
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945
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Language
(Preview)
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Southern Cruizer
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1
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807
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A SMALL GLIMMER OF HOPE IN THE GLOOM !
(Preview)
A SMALL GLIMMER OF HOPE IN THE GLOOM !'Viagra' is now available in tea bags.It doesn't enhance your sexual performancebut it does stop your biscuit going soft. Ha ha.
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aussie_paul
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7
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