|
Airbus 380.
(Preview)
An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h in 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with Tempo Mach 2 appears.The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus flight, boring flig...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
769
|
|
|
|
|
Political Comment?????
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
1
|
638
|
|
|
|
|
Norwegian Padre's
(Preview)
Reverend Ole was the pastor of the local Norwegian Lutheran Church, and Pastor Sven was the minister of the Swedish Covenant Church across the road.I saw them yesterday standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground, that reads:"Da End iss Near!Turn Yourself Aroundt Now!Before It's Too Late...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
742
|
|
|
|
|
Angry?
(Preview)
A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.For all of...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
520
|
|
|
|
|
The Brits
(Preview)
In the great days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a South African bush outpost to relieve the retiring Colonel.After welcoming his replacement and showing the usual courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches, etc.) which protocol decrees, the retiring Colonel sa...
|
Magnarc
|
4
|
918
|
|
|
|
|
Rooted.
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
0
|
632
|
|
|
|
|
Fix a Flat.
(Preview)
It's a rip off - Didn't work for me.
|
Possum3
|
0
|
829
|
|
|
|
|
Goan Funeral.....
(Preview)
A family in Moira, Goa was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother Virginia arrived from Canada.It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with nospace left in it.When they opened the lid, they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and s...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
541
|
|
|
|
|
Customer service.
(Preview)
Sorry, but I need to vent!!!! I experienced the WORST customer service today at a local store. I don't want to mention the name of the store because I'm not sure how I'm going to proceed. Yesterday I bought something from this store. I paid cash for it. I took it home and found out it didn't work. So today...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
921
|
|
|
|
|
Women. (Chauvinistic)
(Preview)
Next time your wife gets angry, drape a towel over her shoulders (like a cape) and say "now you're super angry!"She may laugh... She may destroy you..... Why don't women need to wear a watch?Because there is a clock on the stove. What gets easier to pick up the heavier it becomes?A woman. Wh...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
691
|
|
|
|
|
Men.
(Preview)
Why are men like lawn mowers?They are very hard to get started, they make yucky smells and half the time they dont even work. How are men like a lino floor?If you are able to lay them correctly the first time, then you are able able to walk all over them for the next twenty five years. One big differe...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
508
|
|
|
|
|
Christmas Lights.
(Preview)
For those of you who are placing Christmas lights / decorations in your garden, can you please avoid anything that has Red or Blue flashing lights together?Every time I come around the corner, I think it's the police and I have a panic attack.I have to brake hard, toss my vodka out the window, hide the we...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
486
|
|
|
|
|
No one believes seniors anymore!
(Preview)
NO ONE BELIEVES SENIORS ANYMORE!An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary.The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.Holding hands, they walked back to their old school.It was not locked, so they entered,...
|
skins
|
1
|
810
|
|
|
|
|
Oh yea . Are we getting smarter ??
(Preview)
|
Aus-Kiwi
|
3
|
863
|
|
|
|
|
Rare art.
(Preview)
A wealthy art collector gets a call from his lawyer, " Saul I have some good news and some bad" "Well lets have the good news first I've hassd a bad day". "Your wife rang me and she has bought a couple of pictures for $5000 dollars that she thinks could be worth 10 million". "Thats great news she has always ha...
|
Magnarc
|
1
|
641
|
|
|
|
|
Ghostly chauffeur.
(Preview)
I was hitchhiking on a dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and no vehicles went by. It was raining so hard I could barely see my hand in front of my face.Suddenly I saw a car approaching, moving slowly and appearing ghost-like in the rain. It slowly and silently crept towards me...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
656
|
|
|
|
|
Estate Planning:
(Preview)
Dave was a single guy, living at home with his father and working in the family business.He knew that he would inherit a fortune once his sickly father died.Dave wanted two things: to learn how to invest his inheritance and, to find a wife to share his fortune. One evening at an investment meeting, he sp...
|
Possum3
|
2
|
576
|
|
|
|
|
I'm leaving.
(Preview)
A lady , annoyed because her husband was late coming home again, from golf decided to leave a note, saying, "I've had enough and have left you. Don't bother coming after me."Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen bef...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
756
|
|
|
|
|
Little Johnny.
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
1
|
757
|
|
|
|
|
Longevity.
(Preview)
In 1998, I was travelling in the beautiful USA, when I met a cowboy who was 84. He was still very active and in good health. I asked the old-timer what was the secret to his longevity.The old man said, "You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal every morning see. If you do that, you'll live to a n...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
461
|
|
|
