Just Joking

Possum3 · Possum3

CALLER: Is this Gordon's Pizza?GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.CALLER: I must have dialled a wrong number. Sorry.GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordons Pizza last month.CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?CALLER: My usual? You know me?GOOGLE: According...

Possum3 · Possum3

In the year 2020, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Australia and said:"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:"...

Possum3 · Possum3

Warren-Pat_01 · Warren-Pat_01

I am eighty-eight years old and can look after myself very well and can do my own shopping. My wife can vouch for that because she sends me out to do that chore. Yesterday morning, I thought to give myself a treat, so I called in at our local Dan Murphys and bought two six packs of beer. I placed them on the fro...

Possum3 · Possum3

An old man was walking through the French countryside, admiring the beautiful spring day,when over a hedgerow he spotted a young couple making love in a field:Getting over his initial shock he said to himself. "Ah,young love, ze spring time, ze air, ze flowers. Cest magnifique!" And he continued to...

Bobdown · Bobdown

Yesterday my daughter emailed me again asking why I didn't do something useful with my time. "Like, sitting around the pool, drinking wine isn't a good thing? I asked. Talking about my "doing something useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation. She is "only thinking of me," she said, a...

Possum3 · Possum3

A wine company was hiring a taster, someone to taste the wines before selling them to public.So they placed adverts & one afternoon, a dirty, rough looking manwalks into the Manager's office asking to be employed.The manager tried to figure out how he could drive the man away but couldn't come...

Possum3 · Possum3

Possum3 · Possum3

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembli...

Possum3 · Possum3

Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She repl...

Possum3 · Possum3

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood.They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they ch...

valiant81 · valiant81

Irish Blonde... An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland , arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated And bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, She stripped from the ne...

Possum3 · Possum3

While riding my Harley, I swerved to to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?As I looked up, I notic...

Possum3 · Possum3

Many years ago in a large Caithness houseA gorgeous maid met her madam and asked for a pay rise."why are you asking for a pay rise?" asked the madam."cause i iron better an ye " answered the maid.Silently fuming, the madam asked, "who said that?""yer husband did."Silent fuming intensifies. A bit dari...

Possum3 · Possum3

A retired couple book a two week cruise and decide they cant bear to be parted from their little pet dog for such a long timeThey somehow arrange for the dog to accompany them on the high seas for the holiday, sailing all over the place.One day the man takes the dog for exercise around the deck, he throws a b...

Possum3 · Possum3

Little johnny worked in a pickle factory.He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.He had an urge to stick his pen!s into the pickle slicer.His wife suggested that he should see a s*x therapist to talk about it, but jo...

Possum3 · Possum3

A few years ago a rural petrol station owner was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, "Free Sex with Fill-Up."Soon a local crofter pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his free sex. Th...

Possum3 · Possum3

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creepi...

Possum3 · Possum3

A guy goes fishing every Saturday morning. He gets up early and eager, makes his lunch, hooks up his boat and off he goes, all day long.Well, one Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his lunch made, puts on his long johns, grabs the dog and goes to the garage to hook up his boat to the tru...

Possum3 · Possum3

A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota ."Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figur...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	How it seems to me....... (Preview) CALLER: Is this Gordon's Pizza?GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.CALLER: I must have dialled a wrong number. Sorry.GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordons Pizza last month.CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?CALLER: My usual? You know me?GOOGLE: According...	Possum3	1	1173	01:05 PM Dec 3, 2020 by Mike Harding
	Noah (Preview) In the year 2020, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Australia and said:"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:"...	Possum3	1	1027	10:13 AM Dec 3, 2020 by Craig1
	Christmas Presents (Preview)	Possum3	0	792	08:13 AM Dec 3, 2020 by Possum3
	I am eighty-eight years old.... (Preview) I am eighty-eight years old and can look after myself very well and can do my own shopping. My wife can vouch for that because she sends me out to do that chore. Yesterday morning, I thought to give myself a treat, so I called in at our local Dan Murphys and bought two six packs of beer. I placed them on the fro...	Warren-Pat_01	2	1033	04:53 AM Dec 3, 2020 by Mike Harding
	Dead? (Preview) An old man was walking through the French countryside, admiring the beautiful spring day,when over a hedgerow he spotted a young couple making love in a field:Getting over his initial shock he said to himself. "Ah,young love, ze spring time, ze air, ze flowers. Cest magnifique!" And he continued to...	Possum3	4	984	04:35 PM Dec 2, 2020 by Craig1
	Senior fun (Preview) Yesterday my daughter emailed me again asking why I didn't do something useful with my time. "Like, sitting around the pool, drinking wine isn't a good thing? I asked. Talking about my "doing something useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation. She is "only thinking of me," she said, a...	Bobdown	0	944	10:36 AM Dec 2, 2020 by Bobdown
	Taster. (Preview) A wine company was hiring a taster, someone to taste the wines before selling them to public.So they placed adverts & one afternoon, a dirty, rough looking manwalks into the Manager's office asking to be employed.The manager tried to figure out how he could drive the man away but couldn't come...	Possum3	0	954	01:16 PM Dec 1, 2020 by Possum3
	Kids. (Preview)	Possum3	0	851	08:01 AM Dec 1, 2020 by Possum3
	True love. (Preview) A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembli...	Possum3	0	1361	01:42 PM Nov 30, 2020 by Possum3
	Johnny again. (Preview) Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She repl...	Possum3	0	992	11:10 AM Nov 30, 2020 by Possum3
	Why? (Preview) Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood.They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they ch...	Possum3	0	1047	10:43 AM Nov 30, 2020 by Possum3
	Irish Blonde... (Preview) Irish Blonde... An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland , arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated And bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, She stripped from the ne...	valiant81	0	1193	10:28 AM Nov 30, 2020 by valiant81
	My wife........... (Preview) While riding my Harley, I swerved to to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?As I looked up, I notic...	Possum3	2	1421	10:18 AM Nov 30, 2020 by 2weis
	Scottish Maid. (Preview) Many years ago in a large Caithness houseA gorgeous maid met her madam and asked for a pay rise."why are you asking for a pay rise?" asked the madam."cause i iron better an ye " answered the maid.Silently fuming, the madam asked, "who said that?""yer husband did."Silent fuming intensifies. A bit dari...	Possum3	0	1065	08:23 AM Nov 30, 2020 by Possum3
	Pet doggy. (Preview) A retired couple book a two week cruise and decide they cant bear to be parted from their little pet dog for such a long timeThey somehow arrange for the dog to accompany them on the high seas for the holiday, sailing all over the place.One day the man takes the dog for exercise around the deck, he throws a b...	Possum3	3	1095	08:22 AM Nov 30, 2020 by KJB
	A Pickle. (Preview) Little johnny worked in a pickle factory.He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.He had an urge to stick his pen!s into the pickle slicer.His wife suggested that he should see a s*x therapist to talk about it, but jo...	Possum3	0	1153	08:21 AM Nov 30, 2020 by Possum3
	fREE SEX. (Preview) A few years ago a rural petrol station owner was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, "Free Sex with Fill-Up."Soon a local crofter pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his free sex. Th...	Possum3	1	940	09:27 PM Nov 29, 2020 by oldbloke
	Old Lady. (Preview) Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creepi...	Possum3	0	1021	05:41 PM Nov 29, 2020 by Possum3
	Fishing (Preview) A guy goes fishing every Saturday morning. He gets up early and eager, makes his lunch, hooks up his boat and off he goes, all day long.Well, one Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his lunch made, puts on his long johns, grabs the dog and goes to the garage to hook up his boat to the tru...	Possum3	0	1018	02:06 PM Nov 29, 2020 by Possum3
	New Employee. (Preview) A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota ."Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figur...	Possum3	1	1105	12:43 PM Nov 29, 2020 by Bicyclecamper
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