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How much?
(Preview)
A ship engine failed and no one could fix it. Then they brought in a chap with 40 yrs. on the job. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom. After looking things over, the guy reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into li...
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Possum3
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0
|
596
|
|
|
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What causes arthritis?
(Preview)
A man smelling of booze and cigarettes sat down on a subway next to a priest. His tie was stained, there was red lipstick on his collar and face and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest...
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Possum3
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0
|
498
|
|
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Little Jimmy
(Preview)
Jimmys English teacher was a perfectionist and demanded the very best of his pupils. So it was only to be expected that he would get furious when Little Jimmy handed in a poor paper. This is the worst essay it has ever been my misfortune to read, ranted the teacher. It has too many mistakes. I cant underst...
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Possum3
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0
|
492
|
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No clothes?
(Preview)
Its just too hot to wear clothes today, Jack says as he stepped out of the shower. Honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this? Probably that I married you for your money, she replied.
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Possum3
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0
|
536
|
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The Optimist
(Preview)
What did the optimist say when he jumped off a ten storey building? So far, so good!
|
Collo
|
0
|
616
|
|
|
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TRumpy again
(Preview)
|
Craig1
|
0
|
475
|
|
|
|
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MAJOR SEX FIASCO?!
(Preview)
A crusty old Army Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college.... There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Major for conversation. "Excuse me, Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something botherin...
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Possum3
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0
|
536
|
|
|
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Gangsta Granny.
(Preview)
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags ...and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car - NOW!" The four men d...
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Possum3
|
0
|
500
|
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The Lion
(Preview)
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Bobdown
|
0
|
549
|
|
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What's for dinner?
(Preview)
Fred feared his wife Rhonda might not be hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Unsure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give him a better idea about he...
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Possum3
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1
|
691
|
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She needs a drink !!!!
(Preview)
They drive you to it.........
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Bobdown
|
0
|
700
|
|
|
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Kangaroo.
(Preview)
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a five metre fence. Surprisingly, he was out the very next morning, happily jumping around the zoo. A 10-metre fence was then put up, but again, he got out. When the fence was 20 metres high, a c...
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Possum3
|
0
|
625
|
|
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Vincent Van Gogh
(Preview)
A man walks into a pub and sees Vincent Van Gogh sitting in the corner. "Fancy a pint Vincent?" He asks. "No thanks" Van Gogh replies. "I've got one 'ere".
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Possum3
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0
|
548
|
|
|
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Three Nuns.
(Preview)
Three Italian nuns arrive at the pearly gates and are told that, because they have devoted their lives to the world, they can return to earth for three months, taking on the identity of any person they choose. The first nun said she wanted to return as Helen of Troy. Why Helen? asked St Peter. Because she...
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Possum3
|
0
|
509
|
|
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Corona distancing
(Preview)
Corona distancing in our local bottle shop!
|
Whenarewethere
|
0
|
557
|
|
|
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Nominated as the best short joke this year... (by a female ha ha)
(Preview)
A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?" "Not yet," she replied.
|
Bobdown
|
0
|
628
|
|
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Exorcist.
(Preview)
A week ago my mother in law began reading "The Exorcist". She said it was the most evil book she had ever read. So evil in fact that she took it and threw it in the ocean. I went and bought another copy, and soaked it under a tap. I then put it in the drawer on her bedside table. I think I'm going to Hell.
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Possum3
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1
|
822
|
|
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Face masks
(Preview)
Always do what the taxi driver says............
|
Bobdown
|
0
|
824
|
|
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Bar joke.
(Preview)
A Priest, a Rabbit and a Minister walk into a Bar. The bartender asks "What do you all want to drink". The Rabbit says "I Dunno, I'm only here because of Autocorrect"
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Possum3
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0
|
823
|
|
|
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WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?
(Preview)
Taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds. You'll love it: Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of th...eir own. They like other peoples.' A grandfather is a man & a grandmother is a lady! Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see the...
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Possum3
|
1
|
982
|
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