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FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES - Just saw this on another site.
(Preview)
The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way,... I had a look inside her bag;... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey". Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread. In her left hand she held a rope; And in her right a whip! She threw them down...
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Possum3
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1
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1315
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In a hurry.
(Preview)
A woman and her husband stop at a dentists office. I need a tooth pulled right away, she says. Dont bother with the pain relief; were in a hurry. Which tooth do you want pulled? asks the Dentist. The woman shoves her husband toward the dentist and says: Go ahead, dear. Show him your tooth.
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Possum3
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0
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1154
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Fishing with Sam.
(Preview)
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Possum3
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0
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1258
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Two Aliens.
(Preview)
Two aliens landed in the New Mexico desert near a gas station that had been closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger of the tw...o aliens addressed it. "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader." The gas pump (of course) didn't respond. The younger...
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Possum3
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0
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1067
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Two Crocodiles.
(Preview)
Two crocodiles were sitting at the side of the river in Canberra The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids... I just don't get it"...... ''Well,' said the big Croc, What have you been eating...
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Possum3
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0
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1383
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Dentist.
(Preview)
A dentist, doing his first extraction on a patient, was understandably nervous. When he got the molar out, his hand shook, he lost his grip on the instrument, and the tooth dropped down into the patient's throat. "Sorry," said the doctor. "You're outside my specialty now.... You should see a laryngo...
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Possum3
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1
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1431
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Do the limbo
(Preview)
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Bobdown
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0
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1270
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Quickies.
(Preview)
What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall...
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Possum3
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0
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1379
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naked cowboy
(Preview)
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Craig1
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0
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1116
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Why I like Retirement
(Preview)
Jay&Dee Why I Like Retirement! Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Two hours after falling asleep on the couch. Question: How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?Answer...
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JayDee
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1
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1530
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Redneck
(Preview)
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Craig1
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0
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1363
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Measure.
(Preview)
The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. T...
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Possum3
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0
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1152
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Memories.
(Preview)
Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home in Byron reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny. The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be m...
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Possum3
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0
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1167
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Shoemaker.
(Preview)
Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that... it was over eleven years old: They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade...
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Possum3
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0
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1097
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Save the planet
(Preview)
A million kids want to clean up the earth? A million parents would love it if it started in their bedroom!!!
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Aus-Kiwi
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0
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1221
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Seductive.
(Preview)
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over i...mmediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his...
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Possum3
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0
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1222
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Bruce.
(Preview)
Little Bruce and Jenny are only 12 years old, but they know they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."......
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Possum3
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0
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743
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Colin the bragger...
(Preview)
Colin was bragging to his boss one day:"You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone and I know them."Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff. "OK, Colin how about Tom Cruise?""Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."So Colin and his boss fly out to Holly...
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aussie_paul
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4
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1621
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Danglies.
(Preview)
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed o...
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Possum3
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1
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1478
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For the ladies.....
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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1349
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