Just Joking

Bobdown · Bobdown

Low Battery: A married man saved his girlfriend's phone number on his mobile as 'Low Battery'. Whenever she calls him in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it into the charger. Give that man a medal.~~~~~Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go bed with them. They said it would be just l...

Possum3 · Possum3

Mick: I've been going to Night Classes every night for 5 months now. Paddy: oh! Mick: For example, do you know who Alexander Graham Bell is? Paddy: No... Mick: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876. If you took night classes you'd know this. The next day, Mick: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is? Paddy: N...

Possum3 · Possum3

A woman went to the service counter and... told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work The clerk told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.. Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming, 'PINCH MY NIPPLES, PIN...

Possum3 · Possum3

Mick, Paddy, and Tat are in their local pub having a drink. One of the locals come over to them and asks "are you three triplets?... Paddy replies yes" The local asks "well how come you and Mick are six foot tall, and Tat is only four foot six? Paddy says "ah you see me and Mick were breast fed, but there was no...

Possum3 · Possum3

A man walked into the ladies department and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and... said, 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. ' ' What type of bra?' asked the clerk. 'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?' ' Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every...

Possum3 · Possum3

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his ...veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that cou...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

Possum3 · Possum3

There were these two elderly people living in a Gold Coast mobile home park: He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal w...

Possum3 · Possum3

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacist's eyes got big...

JayDee · JayDee

Bert, at 85 years of age, always wanted a pair of soft spike golf shoes like Freddie Couples, so, seeing some on sale after his round, he bought them. He was so delighted with his purchase, he decided to wear them home to show the Mrs. Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen and sai...

Possum3 · Possum3

A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary: That night the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same sexy negligee she had worn on their wedding night. She looked at her husband and said. "Honey, do you remember this?" He looked up at her and said. "Yes dear, I do. You wore that...

Possum3 · Possum3

A few days before his wife's birthday: Husband: Dear. "What would you like for your present?" Wife: "I really don't think I should say." Husband: "How about a diamond ring?" Wife: "I don't care much for diamonds." Husband: "Well then, how about a mink coat?" Wife: "You know I do not like furs." Husband...

Possum3 · Possum3

People often complain about the police, but you rarely hear about the positive things they do, such as this incident involving a biker and a frozen carburettor. Last year on a bitterly cold winter's day, a motorcycle cop on patrol came upon a motorcyclist who was stalled by the roadside. The biker was...

Bobdown · Bobdown

Possum3 · Possum3

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipst...

Possum3 · Possum3

The President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings. 'Hallo, Mr. President !' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you! We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty!' 'Well Padd...

Possum3 · Possum3

Two prawns were swimming around in the sea. One called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Kristian, 'I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have...

JayDee · JayDee

Four old retired Aussie guys are walking down a street in in outback Bourke . They turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents." They look at each Other, and then go in, thinking, This is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the Ro...

JayDee · JayDee

I am sure that this one has been around somewhere in the thousands of jokes:- An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return,her Father cursed her heavily. 'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us,not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand...

ConsumerMan · ConsumerMan

there you go ladies, problem sorted at Bailey Bar Caravan Park, Charleville QLD -- Edited by ConsumerMan on Wednesday 4th of December 2019 10:53:25 AM

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A few Quickies (Preview) Low Battery: A married man saved his girlfriend's phone number on his mobile as 'Low Battery'. Whenever she calls him in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it into the charger. Give that man a medal.~~~~~Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go bed with them. They said it would be just l...	Bobdown	0	978	11:07 AM Dec 14, 2019 by Bobdown
	Night Classes. (Preview) Mick: I've been going to Night Classes every night for 5 months now. Paddy: oh! Mick: For example, do you know who Alexander Graham Bell is? Paddy: No... Mick: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876. If you took night classes you'd know this. The next day, Mick: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is? Paddy: N...	Possum3	0	1107	08:26 AM Dec 14, 2019 by Possum3
	Returned toaster. (Preview) A woman went to the service counter and... told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work The clerk told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.. Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming, 'PINCH MY NIPPLES, PIN...	Possum3	0	982	11:04 PM Dec 13, 2019 by Possum3
	Irish Triplets (Preview) Mick, Paddy, and Tat are in their local pub having a drink. One of the locals come over to them and asks "are you three triplets?... Paddy replies yes" The local asks "well how come you and Mick are six foot tall, and Tat is only four foot six? Paddy says "ah you see me and Mick were breast fed, but there was no...	Possum3	0	903	10:53 PM Dec 13, 2019 by Possum3
	WHAT RELIGION IS YOUR BRA? (Preview) A man walked into the ladies department and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and... said, 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. ' ' What type of bra?' asked the clerk. 'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?' ' Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every...	Possum3	0	1188	05:01 PM Dec 13, 2019 by Possum3
	Redneck Vasectomy. (Preview) After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his ...veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that cou...	Possum3	1	1152	11:38 PM Dec 12, 2019 by tonyd
	Our dog... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	1	1204	07:26 PM Dec 11, 2019 by Baggie
	Love. (Preview) There were these two elderly people living in a Gold Coast mobile home park: He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal w...	Possum3	0	768	04:14 PM Dec 11, 2019 by Possum3
	Poison. (Preview) A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacist's eyes got big...	Possum3	0	1145	03:44 PM Dec 11, 2019 by Possum3
	Hats are on special... especially for old men. (Preview) Bert, at 85 years of age, always wanted a pair of soft spike golf shoes like Freddie Couples, so, seeing some on sale after his round, he bought them. He was so delighted with his purchase, he decided to wear them home to show the Mrs. Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen and sai...	JayDee	0	1303	09:42 PM Dec 10, 2019 by JayDee
	50th Anniversary. (Preview) A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary: That night the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same sexy negligee she had worn on their wedding night. She looked at her husband and said. "Honey, do you remember this?" He looked up at her and said. "Yes dear, I do. You wore that...	Possum3	0	1335	10:27 AM Dec 10, 2019 by Possum3
	Ultimate Birthday Present for the Wife: (Preview) A few days before his wife's birthday: Husband: Dear. "What would you like for your present?" Wife: "I really don't think I should say." Husband: "How about a diamond ring?" Wife: "I don't care much for diamonds." Husband: "Well then, how about a mink coat?" Wife: "You know I do not like furs." Husband...	Possum3	0	1386	10:17 AM Dec 10, 2019 by Possum3
	Frozen carburettor. (Preview) People often complain about the police, but you rarely hear about the positive things they do, such as this incident involving a biker and a frozen carburettor. Last year on a bitterly cold winter's day, a motorcycle cop on patrol came upon a motorcyclist who was stalled by the roadside. The biker was...	Possum3	0	1289	09:01 AM Dec 9, 2019 by Possum3
	Cheers ........an oldie but a goodie (Preview)	Bobdown	0	1187	12:09 PM Dec 6, 2019 by Bobdown
	How children perceive their Grandparents. (Preview) 1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipst...	Possum3	0	1745	09:50 AM Dec 5, 2019 by Possum3
	Mr President. (Preview) The President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings. 'Hallo, Mr. President !' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you! We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty!' 'Well Padd...	Possum3	0	1035	09:47 AM Dec 5, 2019 by Possum3
	Two Prawns. (Preview) Two prawns were swimming around in the sea. One called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Kristian, 'I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have...	Possum3	1	1002	09:40 AM Dec 5, 2019 by Craig1
	Another Green Joke ( Irish) (Preview) Four old retired Aussie guys are walking down a street in in outback Bourke . They turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents." They look at each Other, and then go in, thinking, This is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the Ro...	JayDee	0	1152	01:39 PM Dec 4, 2019 by JayDee
	Money $$$ even if by ill gotten gains. (Preview) I am sure that this one has been around somewhere in the thousands of jokes:- An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return,her Father cursed her heavily. 'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us,not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand...	JayDee	0	921	01:21 PM Dec 4, 2019 by JayDee
	There You Go Ladies (Preview) there you go ladies, problem sorted at Bailey Bar Caravan Park, Charleville QLD -- Edited by ConsumerMan on Wednesday 4th of December 2019 10:53:25 AM	ConsumerMan	1	1214	11:01 AM Dec 4, 2019 by Possum3
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