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Mother in law
(Preview)
Mother-in-Law came for dinner and said "why does the dog keep looking at me?" I said , "because you're using his plate!"
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Aussie1
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0
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686
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Out of shape
(Preview)
I'm so out of shape that if someone yells, run for your life!, I'll be like, you guys go ahead. I'm going to meet Jesus.
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Aussie1
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0
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513
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just for a laugh xx..
(Preview)
Ninety year old aboriginal elder sat in his humpy eyeing two government 'Welfare' officials sent to interview him .One official said to him: "You have observed the white man for 90 years.You have seen his wars and his technological advances.You have seen his progress and the damage he has done."The...
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aussie_paul
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0
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659
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An oldie but a good one.. Ahh the Irish..
(Preview)
A Irishman wants a job, but the boss won't hire him until he passes a little math test.Here is your first question, the boss said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9.""Without numbers?" the man says, "Dats easy."And proceeds to draw three trees."What's this?" the boss asks."Tree and tr...
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aussie_paul
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0
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541
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Pilot light
(Preview)
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Southern Cruizer
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0
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615
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Grandfather..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
|
0
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621
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He tried..
(Preview)
AT LEAST HE TRIED!!!I was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching my wife who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off I asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.On the morning of her birthday, I ar...
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aussie_paul
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0
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552
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Graveyard..
(Preview)
A drunk walking home decided to take a short cut through the cemetery,Walking along in the dark he stumbled over a mound of dirt and fell into an open grave that was dug for an early funeral the next day.The man tried to climb out, but he was short and the gravediggers had dug the correct six foot depth.The...
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aussie_paul
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0
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650
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Deaf..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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458
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Heart transplant..
(Preview)
An old man needs a heart transplant and gets the call from his doctor one day that there are several options available for him.We have three possible donors, the doctor explains.One is a young, healthy athlete.The second is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and the third is an attor...
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aussie_paul
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0
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488
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Ohh
(Preview)
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rgren2
|
1
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1042
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Santa
(Preview)
Dear Santa, I'm writing to tell you I've been naughty and it was worth it. You fat, judgemental bastard.
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Aussie1
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2
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762
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Drinking whiskey
(Preview)
I was drinking whiskey, and the bartender screamed "does anyone know CPR ??? I yelled "I know the entire alphabet" We all laughed and laughed well, except for this one guy.
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Aussie1
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1
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705
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apology
(Preview)
I would like to apologise to anyone I have not yet offended, I will get to you eventually.
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Aussie1
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0
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631
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lol..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
|
0
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627
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lol..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
|
0
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688
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Police at door..
(Preview)
Police at door.Just had two police officers at my front door.They asked me, Are you familiar with the letters HB?I said, No, Im not.How about LS? they asked.I replied, No. then they asked, What about JD?I said, Hang on a minute, am I a suspect or something?They said, No, these are just initial inquirie...
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aussie_paul
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0
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679
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The twelve days of Christmas
(Preview)
On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me;I=m glad we bought a turkey and a Christmas tree On the second day of Christmas, much laughter could be heard,as we tucked into the turkey - a most delicious bird On the third day we entertained the people next door;The turkey tasted just as good as i...
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erad
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1
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920
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Take it easy on the roads.
(Preview)
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67HR
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1
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828
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Kinfolk.
(Preview)
Two good ol' boys in a Arkansas trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local horse trailer manufa...cturing plant:After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd....."If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your wife whi...
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
659
|
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