|
Bob.
(Preview)
A redneck woman went to the school to register her boys. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?" "Ten," she replied.... "And what are their names?" he asked. "Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, and Bob." "They're ALL named Bob?" he asked. "What if you want them to come in fr...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1173
|
|
|
|
|
Urine test.
(Preview)
*A simplified urine test that may be relevant for us!!??* *Go outside and pee in the garden.* *If ants gather:- diabetes.* *If you pee on your feet:- prostate.* *if it smells like a barbecue:- cholesterol.* *if when you shake it, your wrist hurts:- osteoarthritis.* *if you return to your room with yo...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1113
|
|
|
|
|
New knickers.
(Preview)
A frustrated housewife decided her sex life needed spicing up after 20 years of marriage. After her husband went to work she slipped out and went into a lingerie shop and picked up a pair of crotchless knickers. She went home, tarted herself up and donned the new garment and selected a short skirt to go w...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1036
|
|
|
|
|
Clever Pilot.
(Preview)
A C-130 was lumbering along when a c0cky F-16 flashed by. The jet jockey decided to show off and told the C-130 pilot: 'watch this!' and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb. He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier. The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he t...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
866
|
|
|
|
|
The Ring.
(Preview)
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young girl at his side. He told the jeweler he wanted a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and found a $5,000 ring. The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something much more speci...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
992
|
|
|
|
|
Three Roses.
(Preview)
After her fifth child, Lucy decided that she should have some cosmetic surgery "down below" to restore herself to her former youthful glory because her genitals were dangling a bit too low and looked like a ripped out fireplace. Time and childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that, with five c...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
915
|
|
|
|
|
Bear Remover
(Preview)
A man wakes up one morning in Alaska to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for 'Bear Removers.' He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a s...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1124
|
|
|
|
|
Mongolian Disease.
(Preview)
While in China , a man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having s...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
925
|
|
|
|
|
Bills
(Preview)
It always seems a hassle dealing with bills coming in at inconvenient times while you're on the road. A friend of mine has the solution - he ignores them and awaits a final demand - usually quite rude and abrupt! He then writes to the creditor advising them of his bill paying process. He tells them tha...
|
Toby313
|
2
|
1317
|
|
|
|
|
Off To Court
(Preview)
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus she noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver an...
|
Sarco Harris
|
0
|
1022
|
|
|
|
|
where would you be
(Preview)
|
Craig1
|
2
|
1375
|
|
|
|
|
The Parrot.
(Preview)
A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesnt have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, Jeesh, I wonder what happen...ed to this parrot.? The parrot says, I was born this way. Im a defective parrot. Holy crap, the guy replies. You actually understood and answered m...
|
Possum3
|
3
|
1773
|
|
|
|
|
The note.
(Preview)
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow: It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands. Dear...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1299
|
|
|
|
|
Granny.
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1866
|
|
|
|
|
Toilet seat.
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1369
|
|
|
|
|
Golf.
(Preview)
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag." "Oh, really? Darn...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1248
|
|
|
|
|
An Irish Affair.
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1538
|
|
|
|
|
Fred
(Preview)
|
Craig1
|
0
|
1369
|
|
|
|
|
Marine Corps.
(Preview)
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. ---The next day, the kids came back ...and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher rea...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1289
|
|
|
|
|
Why Scots don't wear Ear Muffs:
(Preview)
Winters can be extremely cold in northern Scotland, so the owner of the estate felt he was doing a good deed when he bought earmuffs for his farm worker, Archie. Noticing, however, that Archie wasn't wearing the earmuffs even on the coldest day, the owner asked, 'Didn't you like the earmuffs I gave yo...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1406
|
|
|
