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Pet Monkey
(Preview)
A guy walked into a bar with a monkey. The monkey grabbed some olives off the bar and ate them. Then he grabbed some sliced limes and ate them. He then jumped onto the pool table and grabbed one of the balls. To everyone's amazement, he stuck it in his mouth and somehow swallowed it whole. The bartender loo...
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Possum3
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1
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1171
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New Porsche
(Preview)
A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye. It announced, $50 Brand New Porsche! The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $50, but he decided it was worth a shot. He went to the address listed on the ad and was met by a woman in the driveway. She happily led him into the garage and...
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Possum3
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2
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1385
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Hallelujah
(Preview)
So I woke up , My dog is laying on the back patio covered in dirt with a rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit's not bloody, just dirty. My neighbor's kids raise blue ribbon rabbits. I instantly knew it was one of theirs. So I took the rabbit away from my dog, rushed inside, and washed all the dirt off it before my ne...
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Possum3
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0
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1108
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Room service.
(Preview)
An apartment guest called the front desk, and the clerk answered, "May I help you?" The guest said, "Yes, I'm in room 858. You need to send someone to the room,right away. I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she's going to jump out the window." The desk clerk said, "I'm sorry, Sir, but that's r...
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Possum3
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0
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1162
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Truth.
(Preview)
Ninety year old aboriginal elder sat in his humpy eyeing two government 'Welfare' officials sent to interview him . One official said to him: "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You have seen his wars and his technological advances. You have seen his progress and the damage he has done."The...
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Possum3
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0
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1275
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A Fart.
(Preview)
A fart it is a pleasant thing, It gives the belly ease, It warms the bed in winter And suffocates the fleas.... A fart can be quiet, A fart can be loud, Some leave a powerful, Poisonous cloud A fart can be short, Or a fart can be long, Some farts have been known To sound like a song. A fart can create A most curio...
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Possum3
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0
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842
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Tranny Fluid
(Preview)
Are we still allowed to say, "Tranny Fluid" or is it "Gender Neutral shifting fluid".
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skins
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1
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1062
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Words of wisdom
(Preview)
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships. Sharon Stone Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. Billy CrystalMy girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading. Steve JobsHockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black m...
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rgren2
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0
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1095
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Hell.
(Preview)
Carl, Bob and Brett found themselves in Hell. They were a little confused at their current situation when they suddenly saw a door in the wall open, and behind it was perhaps the ugliest woman they had ever seen. She was short, dirty and you could smell her stench from far away. The voice of the Devil was h...
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Possum3
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0
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1027
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New restaurant.
(Preview)
A group of friends went to a new restaurant and noticed that the waiter who took the order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When another waiter brought the water and cutlery, one of the men noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then he looked around and saw that all...
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Possum3
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0
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840
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Super Sex
(Preview)
Just love how the Scottish accent gets mistaken...........
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Bobdown
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0
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971
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SCOTTISH 'Three Kick Rule'
(Preview)
A Glasgow lawyer went duck hunting in rural Aberdeenshire . He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and i...
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Possum3
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1
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961
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Old Ladies.
(Preview)
Two elderly women were on holiday. They were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The traffic light was red, but they went straight through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing i...
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Possum3
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1
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1459
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Hinge.
(Preview)
Harlow was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store. At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Carl, the manager, to finish serving another customer. When Carl was finished, Mary asked how much for...
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Possum3
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0
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1146
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Dentist.
(Preview)
Jake went to the dentist to get a tooth out, and asked what will it cost: The dentist said $200, which Jake thought was too much. After some thought, he asked about cheaper methods. The dentist said. "It can be done without anaesthesia and will cost only $30, but it would be very, very painful. Jake said....
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Possum3
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0
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1017
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IRS Audit.
(Preview)
An old man is met by his attorney, and is told he is going to be audited. He rides to the IRS office with his attorney, and when he gets there, he begins to talk with the IRS agent. "I bet $2,000 I can bite my own eye!" The IRS agent agrees to the bet, believing it an impossible task. The old man laughs, pulls out...
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Possum3
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0
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1125
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Prescription concern.
(Preview)
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, ... "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, ju...
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Possum3
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0
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1158
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Little Harry.
(Preview)
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what exactly is your problem?' Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and Im smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!' Ms...
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Possum3
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0
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1152
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DAMN FINE EXPLANATION
(Preview)
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you ..... I want a divorce right away!...
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Possum3
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0
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1067
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Religious Experience.
(Preview)
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi were sitting around drinking coffee. Someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided that each would find a bear and attempt to conver...
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Possum3
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1
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1162
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