|
Words of wisdom
(Preview)
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships. Sharon Stone Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. Billy CrystalMy girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading. Steve JobsHockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black m...
|
rgren2
|
0
|
1119
|
|
|
|
|
Hell.
(Preview)
Carl, Bob and Brett found themselves in Hell. They were a little confused at their current situation when they suddenly saw a door in the wall open, and behind it was perhaps the ugliest woman they had ever seen. She was short, dirty and you could smell her stench from far away. The voice of the Devil was h...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1052
|
|
|
|
|
New restaurant.
(Preview)
A group of friends went to a new restaurant and noticed that the waiter who took the order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When another waiter brought the water and cutlery, one of the men noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then he looked around and saw that all...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
861
|
|
|
|
|
Super Sex
(Preview)
Just love how the Scottish accent gets mistaken...........
|
Bobdown
|
0
|
988
|
|
|
|
|
SCOTTISH 'Three Kick Rule'
(Preview)
A Glasgow lawyer went duck hunting in rural Aberdeenshire . He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and i...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
995
|
|
|
|
|
Old Ladies.
(Preview)
Two elderly women were on holiday. They were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The traffic light was red, but they went straight through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing i...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1479
|
|
|
|
|
Hinge.
(Preview)
Harlow was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store. At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Carl, the manager, to finish serving another customer. When Carl was finished, Mary asked how much for...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1168
|
|
|
|
|
Dentist.
(Preview)
Jake went to the dentist to get a tooth out, and asked what will it cost: The dentist said $200, which Jake thought was too much. After some thought, he asked about cheaper methods. The dentist said. "It can be done without anaesthesia and will cost only $30, but it would be very, very painful. Jake said....
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1038
|
|
|
|
|
IRS Audit.
(Preview)
An old man is met by his attorney, and is told he is going to be audited. He rides to the IRS office with his attorney, and when he gets there, he begins to talk with the IRS agent. "I bet $2,000 I can bite my own eye!" The IRS agent agrees to the bet, believing it an impossible task. The old man laughs, pulls out...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1145
|
|
|
|
|
Prescription concern.
(Preview)
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, ... "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, ju...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1180
|
|
|
|
|
Little Harry.
(Preview)
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what exactly is your problem?' Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and Im smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!' Ms...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1172
|
|
|
|
|
DAMN FINE EXPLANATION
(Preview)
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you ..... I want a divorce right away!...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1083
|
|
|
|
|
Religious Experience.
(Preview)
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi were sitting around drinking coffee. Someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided that each would find a bear and attempt to conver...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1191
|
|
|
|
|
Morning laugh.....
(Preview)
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygenmask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
1065
|
|
|
|
|
India's Got Talent
(Preview)
Talented alright...........
|
Bobdown
|
1
|
1049
|
|
|
|
|
Spoonerisms...........try saying this
(Preview)
This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a s****** (though god knows how many takes). Irony is that they received not one complaint. Must have been the speed of delivery was too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without co...
|
Bobdown
|
1
|
1258
|
|
|
|
|
Down South.
(Preview)
A judge interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending divorce asks: "What are the grounds for your divorce? "About four acres & a nice little home in the middle of the property, with a stream running by. "No." he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?... "It is made of concre...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1167
|
|
|
|
|
Blind Sales Clerk.
(Preview)
A woman goes into the Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She said, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and re...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1069
|
|
|
|
|
Johnny.
(Preview)
Johnny's teacher is giving a lesson on Nutrition and she decides to ask her students what they had for Breakfast. To add a Spelling Component, she asks the stud...ents to also spell their answers: Susan puts up her hand and says she had an Egg, 'E-G-G' "Very good." Says the teacher. Peter says he had To...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1448
|
|
|
|
|
Haircut
(Preview)
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'...d make a deal with his son. "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car." The boy...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1366
|
|
|
