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A farmer..
(Preview)
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of...
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aussie_paul
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Two young boys..
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Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?''Eight', the boy replied.The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?'The boy replied, 'Not exactly,...
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aussie_paul
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375
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How’s your day going?
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rgren2
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434
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Hypnotist at a Senior Home
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It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens' Centre.After the community sing-along led by Alice at the piano, it was timeFor the star of the show - Burt the Hypnotist!Burt explained that he was going to put the whole audience into aTrance. "Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time,"...
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Possum3
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390
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Just saying.
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rgren2
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If you’ve ever had..
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If youve ever had an Indian taxi driver you'll love this one... A drunken, totally naked, woman jumped into a taxi at Park Beach Plaza in Coffs Harbour,Australia.The Indian driver shook his head, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman.He made no attempt to start the cab. "What's wr...
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aussie_paul
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390
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They Served, They Fought
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Found this today in my photo collection. Powerful words, wonder how many young people appreciate the message given.
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Southern Cruizer
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14
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1235
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Baby and the photographer
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The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photogr...
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Southern Cruizer
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494
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From work it out yourself or else to Kumbaya and mental illness..
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I think this chronological progression of our education system is brilliantTeaching Maths from the 1950s to Today1. Teaching Maths in the 1950s ...A forester sells a lorryload of timber for $100His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.What is his profit? $____2 Teaching Maths in the 1970s ...A fo...
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A man walked into the ladies department,,,
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A man walked into the ladies department,,,A man walks into the Ladies Department, and says " I want to buy a bra for my wife".The sales lady says "Sir, this is fine - what size is your wife?"He replied that she was very small - about as big as the other lady in the shop."And how big are her breasts?", asked th...
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aussie_paul
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476
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The Bicycle Ride..
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I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket.As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break.So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home.It turned out to be a very good decision, bec...
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aussie_paul
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414
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Jigsaw..
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Fiona, a little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor Paddy and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started." Paddy asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"Fiona says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster...
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aussie_paul
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419
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Loving Husband..
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The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands. The instructor said, Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a sof...
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aussie_paul
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361
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Bra..
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A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked upto the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for mywife." "What type of bra?" asked the clerk." Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in e...
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Evolution..
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Evolution..
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The Front Porch
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On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" And God sa...
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Cupie
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354
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Books and crooks
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Suspected burglar caught after sitting down with book: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cvg4kpv3p4zoA would-be burglar in Rome was caught after stopping to read a book on Greek mythology in the middle of a robbery, Italian media report.The 38-year-old reportedly gained acce...
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dorian
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526
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Gas..
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GasI was in a restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realised that I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really loud so I timed my farts to the beat of the music.After a couple of songs I started to feel better. I finished my coffee and then I noticed that everybody was staring at me.Then I suddenl...
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aussie_paul
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511
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Her Love Dress
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The mother-in-law stopped by the recently married couples house unexpectedly. She rang the doorbell and stepped inside, where she saw her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door.What are you doing? she asked.Im waiting for my husband to come home from work, the daughter-in-law answered.But...
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Southern Cruizer
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