|
Fair cop.
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1319
|
|
|
|
|
How often?
(Preview)
A young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex: He asked. "How often should you have it?" His grandfather told him that when you first get married, you want it all the time and maybe do it several times a day. Later on, sex tapers off and you have it once a week or so. Then as yo...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1165
|
|
|
|
|
You have $400....
(Preview)
Your daughter text she needs $200,and your son text he needs $150. How much do you have left?? ? ? ? ??Me: $400 and 2 unread messages. Aussie Paul.
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
1057
|
|
|
|
|
Kinfolk.
(Preview)
Two good ol' boys in a Arkansas trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local horse trailer manufa...cturing plant: After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd..... "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your wife whi...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1228
|
|
|
|
|
Monday's cartoons
(Preview)
|
Bobdown
|
0
|
1722
|
|
|
|
|
The keys.
(Preview)
"Several days ago as I left the Bunnings in Rocky, to walk out to my ute and was reaching into my pocket from my car keys... got that sick feeling when I didn't find them there. I desperately gave myself a personal pat down, other pockets, shirt pocket, not there. Turned around real fast and trotted back i...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1736
|
|
|
|
|
Let it snow.
(Preview)
On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and wife in Dublin were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have... 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the Snow ploughs can get through. "So the good...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1608
|
|
|
|
|
Tell me about it.
(Preview)
A financial advisor went out on his own. He was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon he realised he needed an in-house counsel, so he began interviewing young lawyers. As Im sure you can understand, he started off with one of the first applicants. In a business like this, our...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1386
|
|
|
|
|
Hi Honey, it's me.
(Preview)
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.... MAN: Hello WOMAN: Hi Honey, its me. Are you at the club? MAN: Yes. WOMAN: Im at the shops now and found this b...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1239
|
|
|
|
|
Pigs.
(Preview)
A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them: At the fair, he met another Farmer who owned five m...ale pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50. The farmers lived sixty miles apart. So they agreed to d...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1673
|
|
|
|
|
2 Mutes maybe for Sarah?????? ( No it was two Mules..) this is about two Mutes)
(Preview)
Once upon a time there were two deaf mutes standing on a street corner talking to each other with sign language.Mute #1 (SIGN) "What would you like to do?"Mute #2 (SIGN) "I don't know, what about you?"Mute #1 (SIGN) "Let's get my car, find some girls, drive to a dark space and have some fun."Mute #2 (SIGN...
|
JayDee
|
0
|
1248
|
|
|
|
|
Mujibar
(Preview)
The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.' Mujibar said, 'I am ready.'... The manager said, 'Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink, and Green .' Mujibar said, 'The telephone goes green, green , And I pin...
|
Possum3
|
2
|
1378
|
|
|
|
|
Pregnancy.
(Preview)
A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit to her obstetricians office. After the exam, she shyly said My husband wants me to ask you The doctor int...errupts I know I know placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy. No, thats no...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1329
|
|
|
|
|
A Christmas greeting to all.
(Preview)
I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my extended family, friends, so called friends and colleagues, but it is difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. Anyway, I met with my lawyer yesterday, and on her advice I wish to say the following: Please acc...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1505
|
|
|
|
|
Post Office.
(Preview)
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.... The letter read: Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow, li...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1642
|
|
|
|
|
All Bull
(Preview)
My wife and I went to the auction at Wagga Wagga the other week and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen ...and there was a sign attached that said, 'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR' My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ......smiled and said, 'He...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1346
|
|
|
|
|
2 Angry Nuns.............very religious jokes this week, ha ha
(Preview)
Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are travelling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windshield."Quick, quick!" shouts Siste...
|
Bobdown
|
0
|
1074
|
|
|
|
|
Salvo's calling.
(Preview)
The Salvation Army realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, yo...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1388
|
|
|
|
|
St Peter.
(Preview)
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. 'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.' The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1842
|
|
|
|
|
Church rules in France
(Preview)
This notice can now be found in many French churches: En entrant dans cette église, il est possible que vous entendiez l'appel de Dieu.Par contre, il nest pas susceptible de vous contacter par téléphone.Merci d'avoir éteint votre téléphone.Si vous souhait...
|
Bobdown
|
1
|
1805
|
|
|
