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Bus trip
(Preview)
A woman gets on a bus, and is disgusted when a little old man stands up. "Patronising old fool", she mutters, as she pushes him back down. A minute later, another woman gets on the bus, and the old man rises to his feet once more. "Male chauvinist pig", seethes the woman, as she pushes him back down again. T...
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rockylizard
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0
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813
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Warning: Do not read these if you are sensitive or easily offended
(Preview)
It's only 18 days to Christmas. I HATE Christmas. Whoever invented it should be crucified. ----------------------- I was walking along minding my own business when all of a sudden, the pavement spontaneously started viciously attacking me. How was I to know it was a psycho path? ----------------...
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fwdoz
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1
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694
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Young Pilot
(Preview)
A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool over the radio. While approaching the runway during his first night time landing tried to make a joke. "Guess who?" he said to the control tower, instead of following the official protocol. The controller switched the runway lights off and replied: "Gue...
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Possum3
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0
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632
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Piano man
(Preview)
A gray-headed old man shuffled into a downtown bar holding his head up high. His hands shook as he took the "Piano Player Wanted" sign from the window and handed it to the bartender."I'd like to apply for the job," he said. I was a Navy F-4 pilot off the USS Coral Sea. I learned to play the piano at Officers'...
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rgren2
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0
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619
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In the future.
(Preview)
Three elderly men are talking about their grandchildren one day. Talk quickly turns to what the men think their grandchildren would be saying about them 50 years from now. I would love my grandchildren to say, He was successful in business, the first man says. The second man thinks for a minute and giv...
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Possum3
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0
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654
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Well now,...this sounds perfectly logical to me....
(Preview)
..I understand there is also a round hole in the Sperm Bank's front door...used as a ...'Night Deposit Box'....Hoo Roo
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Goldfinger
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1
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814
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Badly injured and unconscious
(Preview)
A platoon of soldiers was patrolling north of Fallujah when they came upon an Isis terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an Australian soldier in a similar, but less serious, state. The soldier was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, th...
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Paintar
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0
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904
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David Thorne 9: Gym Membership is how much?
(Preview)
From: Jeff Peters Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 10.22am To: David Thorne Subject: Membership Renewal Dear David This is a friendly reminder to let you know your gym membership expired last week. Your membership is important to us and we would like to take this opportunity to show our appreciation by o...
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fwdoz
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1
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779
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A tad more to his left...and this may not have been anywhere near as funny to this bloke...it repeats in slow motion....
(Preview)
http://www.military.com/video/off-duty/odd/man-almost-killed-after-shooting-fridge-filled-with-tannerite/5478833126001 -- Edited by Goldfinger on Sunday 2nd of December 2018 05:01:29 PM
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Goldfinger
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1
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761
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5 Masculine Moments.....clean....simply click
(Preview)
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Goldfinger
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2
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856
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Subtle .... Think about it.
(Preview)
A man named Mitch walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. Curious, the barmaid behind the bar looks at the creature on Mitchs shoulder and asks him what he calls it. Oh, his name is Tiny, Mitch replies. The barmaid asks why Mitch calls his pet Tiny. Mitch thinks for a minute before giving his answer. B...
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Possum3
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0
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877
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Missed the train
(Preview)
Young John was with his parents at the station waiting for the next train. They were having a drink inside when they heard a whistle. The three of them rushed out of the bar onto the platform, only to discover that they had just missed the train. "The next train is in one hour," said the station master. The...
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Possum3
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0
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777
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David Thorne 8: Blockbuster Late Movie Fees
(Preview)
Dear Blockbuster member, we know you have our DVD's and we want them back.I find it annoying to pay late fees on movies and I am too lazy to return them on time which leaves simply complaining about it. I used to know a guy named Matthew who would sell me copies of the latest movies for five dollars each but t...
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fwdoz
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0
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782
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.....The Old Cowboy....no-one can say I'm not couth...
(Preview)
A young cowpoke walks into the Saloon. He sits at the Bar and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of soup. After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowpoke bravely asked the the old cowboy, "If'n you ain't gonna eat that there soup..do you...
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Goldfinger
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0
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733
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Jumping to it....
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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746
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David Thorne 7: Do You Have Any Pets?
(Preview)
Strata rules exist for the benefit and well-being of all residents From: David Thorne Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 10.16am To: Helen Bailey Subject: Pets in the building Dear Helen, Thankyou for your letter concerning pets in my apartment. I understand that having dogs in the apartment is a violation...
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fwdoz
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2
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948
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Romantic
(Preview)
An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk. She said, You used to hold my hand when we were courting. Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, Then you use...
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Possum3
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0
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807
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David Thorne 6: Opinions & Censorship
(Preview)
From: Ella Johnson Date: Tuesday 31 May 2011 2.04pm To: David Thorne Subject: Book I've perused your website before and must admit I laughed at the story about the police officer. I work in a bookstore and when your book came in as stock, I made the mistake of browsing through it. While some of it was mild...
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fwdoz
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0
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614
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Pervert
(Preview)
The phone rings and the wife answers. A pervert breaths heavily into the phone and says, "I bet you've got a tight Arse with no hair" The wife answers back, "Yes he's watching TV - Who shall I say is calling?"
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Possum3
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0
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813
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David Thorne 5: Martin's Dropshadows
(Preview)
"There's nothing wrong with my design, it just needs to be more branded."Martin's staff profile includes the following bio which I think Martin may have written himself: "Martin has a degree in fine arts and is a Windows expert. If you have a computer problem, Martin is your man. When he is not solvi...
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fwdoz
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0
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624
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