|
Missed the train
(Preview)
Young John was with his parents at the station waiting for the next train. They were having a drink inside when they heard a whistle. The three of them rushed out of the bar onto the platform, only to discover that they had just missed the train. "The next train is in one hour," said the station master. The...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
792
|
|
|
|
|
David Thorne 8: Blockbuster Late Movie Fees
(Preview)
Dear Blockbuster member, we know you have our DVD's and we want them back.I find it annoying to pay late fees on movies and I am too lazy to return them on time which leaves simply complaining about it. I used to know a guy named Matthew who would sell me copies of the latest movies for five dollars each but t...
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
808
|
|
|
|
|
.....The Old Cowboy....no-one can say I'm not couth...
(Preview)
A young cowpoke walks into the Saloon. He sits at the Bar and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of soup. After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowpoke bravely asked the the old cowboy, "If'n you ain't gonna eat that there soup..do you...
|
Goldfinger
|
0
|
748
|
|
|
|
|
Jumping to it....
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
757
|
|
|
|
|
David Thorne 7: Do You Have Any Pets?
(Preview)
Strata rules exist for the benefit and well-being of all residents From: David Thorne Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 10.16am To: Helen Bailey Subject: Pets in the building Dear Helen, Thankyou for your letter concerning pets in my apartment. I understand that having dogs in the apartment is a violation...
|
fwdoz
|
2
|
981
|
|
|
|
|
Romantic
(Preview)
An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk. She said, You used to hold my hand when we were courting. Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, Then you use...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
823
|
|
|
|
|
David Thorne 6: Opinions & Censorship
(Preview)
From: Ella Johnson Date: Tuesday 31 May 2011 2.04pm To: David Thorne Subject: Book I've perused your website before and must admit I laughed at the story about the police officer. I work in a bookstore and when your book came in as stock, I made the mistake of browsing through it. While some of it was mild...
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
632
|
|
|
|
|
Pervert
(Preview)
The phone rings and the wife answers. A pervert breaths heavily into the phone and says, "I bet you've got a tight Arse with no hair" The wife answers back, "Yes he's watching TV - Who shall I say is calling?"
|
Possum3
|
0
|
834
|
|
|
|
|
David Thorne 5: Martin's Dropshadows
(Preview)
"There's nothing wrong with my design, it just needs to be more branded."Martin's staff profile includes the following bio which I think Martin may have written himself: "Martin has a degree in fine arts and is a Windows expert. If you have a computer problem, Martin is your man. When he is not solvi...
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
651
|
|
|
|
|
Three wishes
(Preview)
A woman finds a genies lamp. The genie comes out and says, You may have three wishes, but your husband will get 10 times more than what you wished for. The woman thought about this for a moment because she knew her husband was cheating on her. But after a while she agrees. Her first wish was that she would be...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
703
|
|
|
|
|
Giovanni's Honeymoon
(Preview)
After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Jersey to say hello to his friends.Giovanni said "Hey Luigi, how wassa da treep?" Luigi said "Everyting wasa perfecto except for da train ride down"."Whatayou mean, Luigi?" asked Gio...
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
759
|
|
|
|
|
The Value of Paintings
(Preview)
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display. "Well, I have good news and bad news" the owner responded. "The good news is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would and he bo...
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
771
|
|
|
|
|
A bloke calls his mate
(Preview)
A bloke calls his mate, the horse trainer, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. His mate asks "How will I recognize him?" "Thats easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment" So, the midget shows up, and the trainer asks him if he is looking for a male or female horse. "A female horth." So h...
|
Yendorane
|
1
|
859
|
|
|
|
|
Brain damage
(Preview)
|
Aus-Kiwi
|
4
|
848
|
|
|
|
|
David Thorne 4: Simon promises promises
(Preview)
From: Simon Edhouse Date: Monday 16 November 2009 2.19pm To: David Thorne Subject: Logo Design Hello David, I would like to catch up as I am working on a really exciting project at the moment and need a logo designed. Basically something representing peer to peer networking. I have to have something t...
|
fwdoz
|
11
|
708
|
|
|
|
|
Blue Ribbon
(Preview)
So I get home today, and my dog is laying on my porch covered in mud and has a rabbit in his mouth. He's not bloody, just dirty. Now, my neighbors raise these rabbits for 4H and have blue ribbon winners. I instantly knew it was one of theirs. So I get the rabbit away from my dog, I take it inside, wash all the di...
|
Paintar
|
1
|
650
|
|
|
|
|
Love Fishing?
(Preview)
Three old men are sitting in their kayaks fishing in a cove on a quiet Sunday morning when a funeral procession drives by. One of the old men takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. The procession winds its way around the cove and disappears over a hill. The old man puts his hat back on and continues fis...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
656
|
|
|
|
|
Golf
(Preview)
After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, Did you tee off on the 16th hole about 20 minutes ago? Yes, the golfer responded. Did you happen to hook your bal...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
673
|
|
|
|
|
Pregnancy Q&A
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
660
|
|
|
|
|
Marriage made in Heaven
(Preview)
On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple has a fatal car accident. The couple is sitting outside heavens gate waiting on St. Peter to do the paperwork so they can enter. While waiting, they ask him if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter says, I dont know, this is the fi...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
649
|
|
|
