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An SUV for your birthday?
(Preview)
Two old guys talking: "My 75th birthday yesterday. Wife gave me an SUV" "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine, an SUV! What a great gift!" "Yup. Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"
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fwdoz
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0
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614
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Irish Jokes
(Preview)
Two Irishmen were waiting at the bus stop when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of turf. Jimmy said, Im gonna do dat when I win da lottery. What's dat den? asks Mikey. Send me lawn away to be mowed." ---------------------------------------- Somewhere in Ireland, a teacher asks her class: "Can a...
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fwdoz
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0
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1003
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Lost?
(Preview)
A husband and wife are flying to Australia for a two week holiday to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. Suddenly, the captain announces: "Ladies and gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. "Luckily, I see...
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Possum3
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0
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834
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A new wine has arrived for the oldies
(Preview)
There is a new wine on the market. When you drink it you don't have to get up during the night to go to the bathroom. It's called Pinot More.
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fwdoz
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0
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825
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Fast Seagull
(Preview)
An elderly couple were taking a stroll when a seagull flies over & relieves itself on the old lady's head. "Yuk" she said, "Quick, get me some toilet tissue'. "What for?" asks the man, "he must be half a mile away by now!"
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fwdoz
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0
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608
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Some more I like....
(Preview)
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Goldfinger
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0
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841
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Wise Doctor
(Preview)
An 80-year-old man is having his annual check up and the doctor asks him how hes feeling. Ive never been better! he replies. Ive got an 18-year-old bride whos pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that? The doctor considers this for a moment, then says: Well, let me tell you a story. I know...
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Possum3
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0
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672
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Catholic or not you have to laugh at this one.
(Preview)
A Catholic priest and a nun were taking a rare afternoon off and enjoying a round of golf. The priest stepped up to the first tee and took a mighty swing. He missed the ball entirely and said "s**t, I missed." The good Sister told him to watch his language. On his next swing, he missed again. "s**t, I m...
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aussie_paul
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0
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826
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Look like my wife.
(Preview)
A drunk walked into the local pub and, after staring at the only woman seated at the bar for some time, he walked over to her and kissed her. She immediately jumped out of her seat and slapped him silly. Im sorry, he said. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her. Why you worthless, insufferabl...
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Possum3
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0
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1020
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Jeep owners do it better
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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1001
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Dark Sex
(Preview)
Two men were discussing their sex lives and one said to the other, "My wife won't make love to me with the light on" "Why is that?" his mate asked. "She hates seeing me enjoy myself" he answered
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Bobdown
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2
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1334
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Is the mourning over?......
(Preview)
Anna had lost her husband almost 7 years ago. Her beloved daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the "Dating World".... Finally, Anna said she would go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom, I have someone for you to meet".. Well, it was an imm...
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Goldfinger
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1
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872
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Good Deed.
(Preview)
A man arrives in heaven and is met by St Peter at the pearly white gates. St Peter looks through the mans book and says, I dont see any reason why we should let you in. You dont seem to have done anything worthy in your life. The man replies, What about the time I was driving and saw a woman with a flat tire besid...
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Possum3
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0
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1118
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DNA Test
(Preview)
After about ten years a wife thinks their child is kinda strange so she has a DNA Test done. When the results came in her fears were confirmed and the child is not their biological child. She the talks to her husband and tells him that the child is not theirs. The husband replied". "You don't remember do...
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Possum3
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0
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1071
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More Irish jokes
(Preview)
A Muslim has been shot in the head with a starting pistol; police say it's definitely race related. Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8. Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be The One, but after looking thr...
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Bobdown
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0
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1328
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Smart Footballers ?
(Preview)
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." Mick Malthouse - Collingwood "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." Peter Bell - Fremantle - on his University Law studies "You guys line up alphabetically by height." and "You guys pair up in...
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Bobdown
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0
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999
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'Comfortable?'
(Preview)
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells he...
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Paintar
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0
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919
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A PUN
(Preview)
A scientist cloned himself, but the experiment created a duplicate who used very foul language. As the clone cursed and swore, the scientist finally pushed it out of the window, and it fell to it's death. The scientist was arrested for .............making an obscene clone fall.
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Peterpan
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0
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649
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Road safety
(Preview)
The local road safety authority had a blitz on safety on the roads and the slogan was"wear white, be seen at night" One local identity decided to do the right thing and went out one day dressed with white hat, white tie, white shirt, white scarf, white suit, white gloves, white socks and white shoes. Go...
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Magnarc
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0
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876
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Couple of Aussie jokes related to me by old Prospector round my campfire..tad risque'
(Preview)
1. A woman had been a prostitute for 4 years and was worried about the "size" of her vagina on her wedding night... She decided to tell her newly wed husband that she caught it on barbed wire when climbing over a farmer's fence... After their first consummating tryst, the subject was inevitabl...
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Goldfinger
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0
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947
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