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More than a couple of jokes interrupt the flow of recent topics
(closed)
(Preview)
Ten or twelve jokes one after the other ruin the feed of recently active topics. Many of the jokes are quite funny but spread them over the week for the sake of the feed of the active topics. Thank you..
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Dickodownunder
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Patrick & the punt
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Patrick was a youthful and hard working Irishman at a Coastal village in Ireland. Daily he would pole a heavy old punt out to sea then work a heavy iron grapple to bring up the sand oysters which he sold to the local ice works. He was a man of regular habits he always arrived home each day at a certain time. Sa...
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fwdoz
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581
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Vodka Xmas Cake Recipe
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Once again this year, Ive had requests for my Vodka Christmas Cake recipe so here goes. 1 cup sugar, half pound butter, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit 4 cups self raising flour. Sample a cup of Vodk...
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fwdoz
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967
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The Church Bulletin Bloopers
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-------------------------- The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. -------------------------- The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.' -------------------------- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to...
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fwdoz
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894
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First day of school
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Roll call on the first day of school for 2018 Ahmed Al Sheriah ............................. ......"here" Mustafa Al Sheriah ............................. ....."here" Fatima El Bindihiri ............................. ......."here" Ali Acmah Shabeeb ................................
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fwdoz
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1
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545
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Puns for educated minds
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The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from a...
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fwdoz
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598
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The Mens Shed Group
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We had a novel experience at a recent meeting of our book club at the Men's Shed. One of our senior members, Ted Roberts who is himself an author lauded for his timeless work "Woodworking for Profit and Pleasure", came up with an interesting suggestion. He said his wife thought that we should read a book...
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fwdoz
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599
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One Liners
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When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate. The batteries were given out free of charge. A dentist and manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail. A will is a dead giveaway. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it. Whe...
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fwdoz
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487
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How the Internet Began
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How the internet began. In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, Large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com. And she said un...
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fwdoz
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502
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Boom boom!
(Preview)
- The Grim Reaper came for me last night , and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death. - A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.... - I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave....
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fwdoz
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475
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Nearly a Doctor
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I was almost a Doctor When I was young in 1980's, I decided I wanted to a be doctor so I took the entrance exam to go to Medical School One of the questions asked us was to rearrange the letters PNEIS into the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect. Those who answered 'spine' are d...
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fwdoz
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509
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The Coolangatta Flight
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A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Coolangatta Airport. The pilot comes on the intercom, 'This is your Captain. We're on our final descent . I want to thank you for flying with us today and hope you enjoy your stay on the Gold Coast. But then he forgets to switch off the intercom, and now the whole p...
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fwdoz
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481
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Trip to Rome
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A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: " Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?" "We're taking Continenta...
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fwdoz
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422
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The Baptist Dinner
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A group of country friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis to socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal. When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all the others. Janet decided to have mushroom-smot...
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fwdoz
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464
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Mathematics
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This comes from 2 mathematicians with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience. It has an indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud. This is a strictly .... mathematical viewpoint... and it goes like this: What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about...
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fwdoz
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537
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Could be caravans as well..
(Preview)
It was a small town and the policeman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car yard, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it? "Heavens no, we bought it." "Then why don't you...
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aussie_paul
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448
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A Jewish Cab Driver
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A Jewish Cab Driver A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumpedinto a taxi in New York City and laid down on the back seat. The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and said, "What's wrong w...
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aussie_paul
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508
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When you get a bit older
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An elderly gentleman walks into an upscale ****tail lounge. He is in his early-eighties, very well-dressed, hair well-groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel and smelling slightly of an expensive after shave. He presents a very nice image. Seated at the bar is a classy looking lady in her m...
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fwdoz
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927
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How much?
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A man went into a lawyers office and demanded to see the lawyer. He was escorted inside and told to sit down. The man needed legal help but he knew how expensive lawyers could be, so he asked, Can you tell me how much you charge? Of course, the lawyer replied, I charge $500 to answer three questions. Dont yo...
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Possum3
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1412
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Lucky
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A young soldier goes home on leave from a war to see his mother in the country. Shes never left the country and has never seen anything like her sons uniform or gun. He shows his mother both items, then she asks about the grenades on his belt. He says, Well, you pull the pin and throw it. She still doesnt qui...
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Possum3
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960
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