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Present from UK
(Preview)
A woman goes to England to attend a two week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and tells her to have a good trip. "Thanks honey, what would you like me to bring for you?" the woman asks. The husband laughs and says: "An English girl!" The woman keeps quiet and leaves for the t...
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Possum3
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0
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1414
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In sync.
(Preview)
A husband and wife were in marriage counselling. The counsellor looked at them both and said softly, It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other. He addressed the husband, Can you describe your wifes favourite flower? The husband leaned over, touched his...
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Possum3
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0
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1481
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Last picture of live cat
(Preview)
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Paintar
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0
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1294
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Reincarnation..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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1412
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Confession.
(Preview)
A newly ordained priest, nervous about hearing confessions, finally asks an older priest to observe how he does and give some tips. After listening in on the second confession, the older priest suggested that the younger man fold his arms, maybe rub his chin with one hand while saying phrases like I s...
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Possum3
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0
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1188
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The most powerful liquid
(Preview)
A little boy was sitting on the footpath with a bottle of Turpentine. He was shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy said "This is the most powerful liquid in the world; it's called Turpentine". The Priest said "No, the most power...
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fwdoz
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1
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1253
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Polish Remover
(Preview)
A polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into the lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on circumstances, and a...
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Stretch60
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1
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1115
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David Thorne 2: The Snow Gloves
(Preview)
In this one, David gets some crap service for a faulty product, so he creates a phantom advertisement. Read on with amusement! From: anton@function4sports.com Date: Thursday 20 January 2011 11.14am To: David Thorne Subject: Advertisement I received the attached advertisement from a friend...
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fwdoz
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3
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1233
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seniors text codes
(Preview)
Young people have theirs, now WE Seniors have our own texting codes: * ATD- At the Doctor's * BFF - Best Friends Funeral * BTW- Bring the Wheelchair * BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth * CBM- Covered by Medicare * SUATSC- See You at the Senior Citizens * DWI- Driving While Incontinent * FWIW - Forgot Where I Was * G...
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fwdoz
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1
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1011
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Bigger in Texas.
(Preview)
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a holiday. There, he meets an Australian farmer and gets talking. The Aussie immediately shows him his big wheat field. "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large," the Texan says. They then walk around the ranch a little and the Australian shows off h...
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Possum3
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3
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749
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Appropriate uniform
(Preview)
A ship captain is walking on board when a soldier rushes to him and exclaims, An enemy ship is approaching us! The captain replies calmly, Go get my red shirt. The soldier gets the shirt for the captain. The enemy ship comes in and heavy rounds of fire are exchanged. Finally, they win. The soldier says, C...
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Possum3
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0
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998
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I Resemble these.....
(Preview)
Rest and Relax....We'll be dead soon enough....Hoo Roo -- Edited by Goldfinger on Thursday 15th of November 2018 11:15:11 AM
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Goldfinger
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0
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1389
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Baby planes
(Preview)
A young boy is on an airplane with his mother. He asks her a question. "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, then why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mum smiles and tells her son to ask the flight attendant. So he does just that. The flight attendant asks the boy if his mum told him t...
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Possum3
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0
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920
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Retiree Vacuuming....
(Preview)
After retiring, Joe does nothing except sit around the house all day. Fed up, his wife says, "Joe, you could do something useful, like vacuum the house once a week." Joe looks at her for a moment and says, "Sure, why not. Where's the vacuum?" Half an hour later, he walks into the kitchen to get a coffee...
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aussie_paul
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2
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870
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Well, well, well ........
(Preview)
The wedding ceremony came to the point where the Minister asked if anyonehad anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace. The moment of utter silence was broken by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She stood up an...
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aussie_paul
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5
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1039
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Soldier Help
(Preview)
Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help. She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door. Magically it opens. "That's so clever," the woman gasps. "How did you do it?" "Ea...
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fwdoz
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2
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907
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BRAIN FART.....
(Preview)
If you need a laugh today like I do, this should take care of it.https://www.youtube.com/embed/Xv1tMioGgXI?rel=0Aussie Paul.
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aussie_paul
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1
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886
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Seven shots
(Preview)
A man goes into a bar and orders seven shots of tequila and one beer. The bartender lines up shots and goes to get the beer. When he comes back with the pint, all seven shots are gone. The bartender looks shocked and says, Wow! You sure drank those fast. The man replies, You would drink fast too if you had wha...
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Possum3
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1
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1127
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A bit longer one.
(Preview)
I thought I saw Michael J Fox in a flower shop. I couldn't be really sure it was him because, he had his ..back to the fuchsia.
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Peterpan
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0
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1128
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Testing out the horses
(Preview)
Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, ' Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to ma...
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fwdoz
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1
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1103
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