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The difference between dogs and cats
(Preview)
A German Shepherd, a Doberman and a cat all died within minutes of one another. All 3 are now faced with God & he wants to know what they believe in. The German Shepherd says "I believe in discipline, training and loyalty to my master". "Good" says God. "You may sit down on my right side". The Doberman...
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fwdoz
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1
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916
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Apologies to my blonde friends...
(Preview)
Blonde again.. A blond is telling her bff about her first time riding a horse. "So I got on this pretty little horse and it just took off galloping with me. I tried to hang on but, the saddle was so slippery that I started to fall off. I was yelling for help and hanging on for dear life. I had my arms wrapped ar...
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aussie_paul
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0
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1249
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Counsellor
(Preview)
A couple were having marital problems so they decided to go to a marriage counsellor. After a few visits, and a lot of questioning and listening, the counsellor said he had discovered the main problem. He stood up, walked over to the woman, asked her to stand and gave her a hug. He looked at the husband an...
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Possum3
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0
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1020
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Irish Road Accident....
(Preview)
Paddy phones an Ambulance because his mate Shaun has just been hit by a car.. Paddy: ' Get an Ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and ears and..and..I tink both his legs are broken.' Operator:' What is your location sir?' Paddy: Outside number 28 Eucalyptus Street'.. Operator: 'How do...
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Goldfinger
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2
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1097
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Toilet brush
(Preview)
A man walks into a store looking for a toilet brush. The store owner shows him a variety of brushes at various prices. The man thinks for a little while, then buys the cheapest one. The next day the man is back at the store. ?Were you unhappy with your purchase?? asks the shopkeeper. ?We have other models...
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Possum3
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0
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1081
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Senior Golfer
(Preview)
A young man with a few hours to spare one afternoon figures that if he hurries and plays very fast, he can get in nine holes before he has to head home. As he is about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffles onto the tee and asks if he can join him. Although worried this will slow him up, the younger man says, Of co...
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Possum3
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0
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1234
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Quick Hide
(Preview)
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Phillipn
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0
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950
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Jonah and the whale.
(Preview)
Little Suzie was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal and its throat was very small. But Little Suzie argued that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whal...
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Possum3
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0
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782
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lol...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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1012
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More rain.
(Preview)
It was a disastrous year for the farmers. Rain fell and fell until the government relief agency had to step in and lend a hand. It must have been terrible, a government worker said to a farmer. All that rain. Could have been worse, calmly answered the farmer. My neighbour had more rain than me. Hows tha...
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Possum3
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1
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988
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Why? Oh why?
(Preview)
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? The first man ap...
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Possum3
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0
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928
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Origin of Yodeling
(Preview)
Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling began?. Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland. Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night. The farmer told him that he could sl...
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Paintar
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0
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946
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bubble gum
(Preview)
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dING
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2
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1078
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Tows a caravan
(Preview)
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned. Susie said, He was born in a manger. Bobby said, He threw the money changers out of the templ...
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Possum3
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1
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1109
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Goat cheese.
(Preview)
A group of elderly Australians were travelling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lively hillside where many goats were grazing. "These are the older...
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Possum3
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1
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1098
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Divorce settlement
(Preview)
A husband and wife were getting divorced. After a long meeting the divorce court judge said, Mr Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully and Ive decided to give your wife $475 a week. The husband broke out in a grateful smile and said, Thats very nice, your honour and every now and then Ill try to se...
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Possum3
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1
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979
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Little Johnny - Some kids are smart !!!!
(Preview)
A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Bill Shorten fans.Not really knowing what a Shorten fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny. The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different... again. Little John...
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aussie_paul
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3
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1374
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Engineers vs Accountants.
(Preview)
Three engineers and three accountants are travelling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy a ticket and watch as the three engineers only buy one ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" one of the accountants asks. "Watch and you'll see," a...
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Possum3
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1
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1042
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In Charge of Supplies
(Preview)
An American, a Canadian and a Japanese were stranded in a deserted island in middle of nowhere. They understood that until rescues arrived, they will need to work together in order to stay alive on the island. So they decided to divide up the tasks.The American points to the Canadian and says: "You wil...
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fwdoz
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1
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833
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The Gynaecologist
(Preview)
A gynaecologist had a burning desire to change careers and become a mechanic. So, she found out from her local tech college what was involved, signed up for evening classes and attended diligently, learning all she could.When time for the practical exam approached, she prepared carefully for week...
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fwdoz
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0
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1068
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