Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

fwdoz · fwdoz

My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness so he wouldn't arouse suspicion. He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.

Possum3 · Possum3

A little girl and boy were at daycare. The girl approached the boy and said: Hey Bobby, do you want to play house?. Sure, he replied, what do you want me to do?. I want you to communicate, little Susie replied. That word is too big. I have no idea what it means, Bobby said. The little girl smirked and said, pe...

rgren2 · rgren2

The Goldberg Brothers - The Inventors of the Automobile Air Conditioner.Here's a little known fact for automotive buffs, or just to dazzle your friends.The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 194...

fwdoz · fwdoz

THIS IS NOT A SCAM. If you're 18 or older and you looking to receive $300 to $800 a week. Go get a bloody job.

fwdoz · fwdoz

The teacher asked "All right children, who can tell me what a chicken gives?" Mary answered "A chicken gives eggs!" The teacher then asked "Now who can tell me what a goat gives?" And Paul answered "A goat gives goat milk!" And finally, the teacher asked "Well now, who can tell me what a cow gives?" And Li...

fwdoz · fwdoz

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HELLLOOOOOOO..." answered the blonde " They're...

fwdoz · fwdoz

A Nobel Prize winning mathematician is traveling from university to university on a speaking tour by limousine. After several engagements the mathematician and his driver are having dinner and the driver says "I've heard your speech so many times I think I could give it word-for-word". The mathem...

fwdoz · fwdoz

A wife complains to her husband: "Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can't you do the same?" The husband: "Are you mad? I barely know that woman!"

fwdoz · fwdoz

It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage.Jake asks "What are you up to?" Alice smiles and says "I'm going...

fwdoz · fwdoz

A contractor dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the angels are singing a beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting his name, and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand.Just when he thinks things can't possib...

fwdoz · fwdoz

Ed came home drunk, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife and fell into a deep slumber.He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said "You died in your sleep, Ed".Ed was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!" St. Peter said "I'm sorry, but there's only one...

fwdoz · fwdoz

An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.He put a sign up outside that said: DR. GEEZER'S CLINIC. GET YOUR TREATMENT FOR $500. IF NOT CURED, GET BACK $1,000.Doctor Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this wou...

fwdoz · fwdoz

A Priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local figure and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited...

fwdoz · fwdoz

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"The operator said "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?" The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said "Noreen, in Room 302"....

fwdoz · fwdoz

The eight-year old boy had never spoken a word - ever. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said "Soup's cold". His astonished mother exclaimed "Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you've never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken before?" The b...

fwdoz · fwdoz

Two old boys got together to do some fishing. One of them brought along a jar of 'shine' to sip on while they were fishing. After an hour or so it had gotten hot and the minnows were moving pretty slow in the bucket so one of them drizzled a little 'shine' into the minnow bucket and they perked right up. So he r...

Possum3 · Possum3

A man is attending the funeral of a close friend. One of the mourners sitting in the row him behind stands up and admits he owes the deceased an outstanding debt of $100. I am a man of my word, he says, as he drops 10 $10 notes into the open coffin and makes his way back to his seat. This prompts another mourner...

Possum3 · Possum3

An elderly man is out walking on a sunny afternoon. As he crosses the meadow he hears a female voice say: Sir, I would like to ask a great favour of you. Confused, he looks around and sees no one, only a frog sitting by the edge of the trail. I must be going nuts, he thinks, theres no one here. He continues on hi...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A man entered the bus with both of his front pants pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, 'It's golf balls'. Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at hi...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	lol... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	1	691	08:08 AM Jul 16, 2018 by Blues Man
	The local drug dealer (Preview) My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness so he wouldn't arouse suspicion. He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.	fwdoz	3	692	05:10 PM Jul 15, 2018 by fwdoz
	Kids. (Preview) A little girl and boy were at daycare. The girl approached the boy and said: Hey Bobby, do you want to play house?. Sure, he replied, what do you want me to do?. I want you to communicate, little Susie replied. That word is too big. I have no idea what it means, Bobby said. The little girl smirked and said, pe...	Possum3	0	685	04:32 PM Jul 15, 2018 by Possum3
	Automotive Airconditioners (Preview) The Goldberg Brothers - The Inventors of the Automobile Air Conditioner.Here's a little known fact for automotive buffs, or just to dazzle your friends.The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 194...	rgren2	2	818	12:20 AM Jul 15, 2018 by Aus-Kiwi
	This is not a scam (Preview) THIS IS NOT A SCAM. If you're 18 or older and you looking to receive $300 to $800 a week. Go get a bloody job.	fwdoz	1	705	09:02 AM Jul 14, 2018 by Blues Man
	What gives? (Preview) The teacher asked "All right children, who can tell me what a chicken gives?" Mary answered "A chicken gives eggs!" The teacher then asked "Now who can tell me what a goat gives?" And Paul answered "A goat gives goat milk!" And finally, the teacher asked "Well now, who can tell me what a cow gives?" And Li...	fwdoz	1	686	08:59 AM Jul 14, 2018 by Blues Man
	A blonde & her dogs (Preview) A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HELLLOOOOOOO..." answered the blonde " They're...	fwdoz	1	742	08:58 AM Jul 14, 2018 by Blues Man
	Nobel Prize professor (Preview) A Nobel Prize winning mathematician is traveling from university to university on a speaking tour by limousine. After several engagements the mathematician and his driver are having dinner and the driver says "I've heard your speech so many times I think I could give it word-for-word". The mathem...	fwdoz	1	735	08:57 AM Jul 14, 2018 by Blues Man
	A wife complains (Preview) A wife complains to her husband: "Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can't you do the same?" The husband: "Are you mad? I barely know that woman!"	fwdoz	1	627	08:55 AM Jul 14, 2018 by Blues Man
	Hunting for deer (Preview) It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage.Jake asks "What are you up to?" Alice smiles and says "I'm going...	fwdoz	1	758	08:53 AM Jul 14, 2018 by Blues Man
	Contractor and the Pearly Gates (Preview) A contractor dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the angels are singing a beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting his name, and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand.Just when he thinks things can't possib...	fwdoz	1	742	08:50 AM Jul 14, 2018 by Blues Man
	Ed the drunk (Preview) Ed came home drunk, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife and fell into a deep slumber.He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said "You died in your sleep, Ed".Ed was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!" St. Peter said "I'm sorry, but there's only one...	fwdoz	1	676	08:47 AM Jul 14, 2018 by Blues Man
	Dr Geezer (Preview) An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.He put a sign up outside that said: DR. GEEZER'S CLINIC. GET YOUR TREATMENT FOR $500. IF NOT CURED, GET BACK $1,000.Doctor Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this wou...	fwdoz	1	674	08:45 AM Jul 14, 2018 by Blues Man
	The retiring priest (Preview) A Priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local figure and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited...	fwdoz	1	817	08:41 AM Jul 14, 2018 by Blues Man
	How is Noreen? (Preview) A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"The operator said "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?" The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said "Noreen, in Room 302"....	fwdoz	1	838	08:38 AM Jul 14, 2018 by Blues Man
	The boy finally speaks (Preview) The eight-year old boy had never spoken a word - ever. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said "Soup's cold". His astonished mother exclaimed "Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you've never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken before?" The b...	fwdoz	0	562	04:26 PM Jul 13, 2018 by fwdoz
	Good old Moonshine (Preview) Two old boys got together to do some fishing. One of them brought along a jar of 'shine' to sip on while they were fishing. After an hour or so it had gotten hot and the minnows were moving pretty slow in the bucket so one of them drizzled a little 'shine' into the minnow bucket and they perked right up. So he r...	fwdoz	0	619	04:20 PM Jul 13, 2018 by fwdoz
	Debt paid. (Preview) A man is attending the funeral of a close friend. One of the mourners sitting in the row him behind stands up and admits he owes the deceased an outstanding debt of $100. I am a man of my word, he says, as he drops 10 $10 notes into the open coffin and makes his way back to his seat. This prompts another mourner...	Possum3	0	681	05:27 PM Jul 12, 2018 by Possum3
	The frog. (Preview) An elderly man is out walking on a sunny afternoon. As he crosses the meadow he hears a female voice say: Sir, I would like to ask a great favour of you. Confused, he looks around and sees no one, only a frog sitting by the edge of the trail. I must be going nuts, he thinks, theres no one here. He continues on hi...	Possum3	0	652	08:02 PM Jul 11, 2018 by Possum3
	Does it hurt? (Preview) A man entered the bus with both of his front pants pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, 'It's golf balls'. Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at hi...	aussie_paul	1	883	07:10 PM Jul 11, 2018 by Blues Man
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