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Dead cert Drunk.
(Preview)
A routine police patrol was parked outside a popular bar in the outback. After last call at the bar, the police officer noticed a man leaving that looked so drunk he could hardly walk. The man stumbled around the car park for several minutes, while the officer watched on quietly. After what seemed like...
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Possum3
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0
|
537
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|
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A Pun
(Preview)
Why did the boy cover himself in gift wrap? Because he was told to live in the present. why was the broom late? Because it overswept. Sorry couldn't help putting two in a row. I'm off to the naughty corner. The first for 2019.
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Peterpan
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0
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881
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|
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|
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Winston Churchill was asked his position on Whisky...his actual response....
(Preview)
Winston's considered response...
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Goldfinger
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4
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973
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Prophesy?
(Preview)
A man was travelling to a nearby city. He was driving down the highway when he spotted a priest and a pastor by the side of the road, holding up a sign. "The end is near! Turn around now before it's too late," the sign read. Wanting to get to his destination as fast as possible the man didn't take it seriously...
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Possum3
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0
|
609
|
|
|
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Spring Cleaning the Car...short MP4 video....
(Preview)
Va..va..va..boom.....Hoo Roo
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Goldfinger
|
1
|
516
|
|
|
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Hello Mudda Hello Farder...
(Preview)
Dear Mum, Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened. Oh yes, please call Ad...
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aussie_paul
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1
|
671
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Hooters
(Preview)
Two guys grow up together but after college one moves to London and the other to Wales. They agree to meet every ten years in Wentworth and play golf. At age 30, they finish their round of golf and go to lunch. Where you wanna go? Hooters. Why? Well, you know, they got the broads, with the big racks,...
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Paintar
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0
|
947
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|
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|
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How long has it been?
(Preview)
A man has been stuck on a desert island for 10 years when he notices an unusual speck in the distance. Its certainly not a ship, he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer the man starts to rule out the possibility that its a small boat or even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf, is a beau...
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Possum3
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0
|
627
|
|
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Just another problem
(Preview)
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Dickodownunder
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0
|
730
|
|
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Expensive
(Preview)
Harry was on holiday in the Middle East with his wife, children and mother-in-law. During a visit to Jerusalem, his mother-in-law unexpectedly died. With a death certificate in his hand, he was making preparations to fly his mother-in-laws body home for a proper burial. The funeral director over t...
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Possum3
|
1
|
636
|
|
|
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Lots of kids.
(Preview)
Ethel married Tom and had five kids. Tom passed away. Ethel then married Dick and had another four kids. Dick passed away. Ethel then married Harry and had another six kids. Harry passed away, as did Ethel shortly after. At Ethels gravesite Mavis said to Ivy: Oh, how lovely! Together at last! Who? Ethe...
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Possum3
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0
|
696
|
|
|
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Dad and Dave
(Preview)
Dad and Dave went fishing. While waiting for the fish to start biting, Dave says to Dad "I think I'm going to divorce Mabel. She hasn't spoken to me for in 3 months." After a while Dad says to Dave " You better think it over for a bit Dave, women like that are hard to find."
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rgren2
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0
|
716
|
|
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Jacket present.
(Preview)
A couple were holidaying overseas. They wanted to bring home a special present for their granddaughter. They went into a fancy shop and were looking around for a nice piece of clothing. They couldn't decide which one to pick so asked the salesman for some help. "If you were buying a jacket for your girl...
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Possum3
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0
|
609
|
|
|
|
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Fortune cookie.
(Preview)
A married couple were holidaying in China. They decided to go out to dinner at a nice restaurant. After finishing their main meal they cracked open their fortune cookies. The woman's read: "Be quiet for a little while". The husband's read: "Talk while you have a chance".
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Possum3
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0
|
716
|
|
|
|
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How much?
(Preview)
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. One day, the wife completely forgets that her 10-year-old boy was home and unaware that he was hiding in her bedroom closet. The husband comes home unexpectedly and she hides her lover in the closet. The boy now has company. Its dark...
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Possum3
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0
|
653
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|
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Negligee surpise gift.
(Preview)
Ahead of his 50th wedding anniversary, Melvin decides to surprise his wife with a very special gift. He goes to the shopping centre and heads into the lingerie store. Realising hes never seen his wife in lingerie in all the years theyve been married, he decides to buy some as a way of making her feel youn...
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Possum3
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0
|
771
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|
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Top o' the Mornin'.
(Preview)
There was a power failure in a Dublin Department Store last week and three hundred people were stranded on the escalators for more than two hours. OLeary, your glass is empty, will you be having another one? And what would I be doing with two empty glasses? OLeary replied. Young Teresa came home with so...
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Spook
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0
|
707
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You wanna screw for it
(Preview)
While installing a new door, I found that one of the hinges was missing. So, I asked my wife Mary if she would go to Home Depot and pick up a hinge. Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the Manager to finish serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom faucet. When the Manager was fin...
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Paintar
|
0
|
760
|
|
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Store Closed
(Preview)
Just a reminder that all Coles stores will be closed today, so that both cashiers can have a Holiday and spend some time with their families..
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Possum3
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6
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1057
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|
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That much?
(Preview)
A man came home to find his wife of 10 years packing her bags. "Where are you going?" the surprised husband asks. "To Las Vegas," the woman exclaims. "I found out that there are men that will pay me $500 cash to do what I do for you for free!" The man pondered that thought for a moment and then began packing hi...
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Possum3
|
0
|
748
|
|
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