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Grandpa's.
(Preview)
A man visited his 90-year-old grandpa who lived way out in the country. On the first morning of the visit, the grandpa prepared a breakfast of bacon and eggs. The man noticed a film-like substance on his plate, and asked, Are these plates clean? His grandpa replied, Theyre as clean as cold water can get...
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Possum3
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0
|
551
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|
|
|
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Penguin
(Preview)
A penguin was driving along the Victorian coast when he started having car troubles. He pulled in the nearest town and stopped outside an auto shop. He told the mechanic what was happening and could he have a look at it. The mechanic said he was busy at the minute and could he come back in half an hour. The p...
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Bobdown
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2
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613
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B17 Bomber
(Preview)
During WW2 the US introduced the Boeing B17 Bomber, a magnificent aeroplane with a crew of 11: Captain, Navigator, Flight engineer, Bombardier, Radio operator, Nose gunner, 2 X Waist gunners, Top turret gunner, Belly gunner, Tail gunner. The story goes that during the last days of the North Afri...
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Possum3
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2
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634
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Church Notices
(Preview)
They're back! > > Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with > > typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually > > appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: > > The Fasting & Prayer Conference inclu...
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Bobdown
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1
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612
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Johnny again.
(Preview)
The teacher asked the class to use Fascinate in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said "last weekend we went to Grandads farm and it was fascinating" The teacher said "That was good but I want the word fascinate not fascinating" Sally raised her hand and said "We went to Rock City and I was fascinated"...
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Possum3
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0
|
538
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Slow Painful Death
(Preview)
A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death". He turned around and said "So, you want me to stay?"
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fwdoz
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1
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619
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Mathematical Assistance
(Preview)
The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical assistance. He called her into his office and said "You graduated university and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000 minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary...
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fwdoz
|
0
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570
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|
|
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Favourite Pastime
(Preview)
For his final project in a statistics class, a student decided to conduct a survey. He chose to find out peoples' favourite pastimes.The teacher required that he sample at least 100 people, so he started out his project visiting a fairly large apartment building near the university. He knocked on th...
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fwdoz
|
1
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562
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Johnny.
(Preview)
A new teacher tries to make use of her psychology course. The first day of class, she starts by saying, Everyone who thinks theyre stupid, stand up! After a few seconds, Little Johnny stands up. The teacher asks, Do you think youre stupid, Johnny? No, maam, but I hate to see you standing there all by your...
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Possum3
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1
|
558
|
|
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A few old funnies
(Preview)
The Unreasonable Mother-in-law One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's when the fight started.... ____________...
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Bobdown
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1
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640
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Pre-Friday Funnies
(Preview)
-- Edited by LLD on Thursday 17th of January 2019 04:30:36 PM -- Edited by LLD on Thursday 17th of January 2019 04:46:58 PM
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LLD
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4
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642
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|
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Love Nurse jokes
(Preview)
The Night Nurse A very tired nurse walks into a bank, worn out after a tough shift. Preparing to write a cheque, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it.When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says: "W...
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Bobdown
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0
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726
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|
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It comes with Old Age
(Preview)
Jennifer, a manager at Walmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the...
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Bobdown
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0
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609
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|
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THE NUDE RUNNER
(Preview)
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainyday she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard herhusband's car pull into the driveway.'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. Myhusband's home early!''I can't jump out the window. It...
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aussie_paul
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1
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933
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Inflatable Boy
(Preview)
There was an inflatable boy, who went to an inflatable school. he was smoking behind the school shed when the inflatable teacher caught him. "Right" he said, "you're coming with me" and dragged him backed to the classroom. The inflatable boy pulled out a knife and stabbed the inflatable teacher, sw...
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Bobdown
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5
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923
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Four Husbands.
(Preview)
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she an...
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Possum3
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1
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831
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|
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TV Interview ???
(Preview)
|
LLD
|
3
|
724
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|
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Wanna play house?
(Preview)
Little Suzie headed to her first day of grade one. She met a little boy and decided to become his friend. She approached the boy and said, Hey, want to play house? He said, Sure! What do you want me to do? Suzie replied, I want you to communicate your feelings. Communicate my feelings? answered the bewild...
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Possum3
|
1
|
713
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|
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Bush Poet
(Preview)
Bill Kearns.......very funny https://youtu.be/BkyOSLgk7wU
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Bobdown
|
0
|
700
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Few more Smiles..plus some wisdom....
(Preview)
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Goldfinger
|
2
|
675
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