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Aliens
(Preview)
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader." The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien bec...
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Paintar
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0
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724
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Few Smiles..
(Preview)
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Goldfinger
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3
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875
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The Pond.
(Preview)
An elderly man had owned a farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadnt been there for a while, an...
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Possum3
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0
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749
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Ney York
(Preview)
A man walks into the bedroom and notices his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, "What are you doing?" She replies, "I'm off to New York. I heard that prostitutes there charge $800 for what I do for you for free" Later on her way out she notices her husband packing a suitcase. "Where are you going she asks" He...
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Possum3
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0
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696
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Wife's temper.
(Preview)
A man goes to the doctor, worried about his wifes temper. The doctor asks, Whats the problem? The man says, Doctor, I dont know what to do. Every day my wife seems to lose her temper for no reason. It scares me. The doctor replies, I have a cure for that. When it seems that your wife is getting angry, just tak...
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Possum3
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0
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767
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Seaman
(Preview)
The Navy Master Chief noticed a new face in the line of men and barked at him, Get over here! Whats your name, sailor? John, the new seaman replied. Look, I dont know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap theyre teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I dont call anyone by his first name, the chief s...
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Possum3
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0
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686
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Trout Fishing.
(Preview)
I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a red belly black snake with a frog in its mouth. Frogs are great bait for brown trout. Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with a frog in its mouth, I grabbed it right behind its head and I took the frog. Now the dilemma was how to le...
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Possum3
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0
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710
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Sex = 8 Miles
(Preview)
They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the hell runs 8 miles in 45 seconds?
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Paintar
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0
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853
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Too drunk to drive
(Preview)
A police officer waited outside a popular pub hoping to catch a drunk driver in the act. At closing time, as everyone came out, he spotted a potential offender. The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes looking for his car. After t...
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Possum3
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0
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756
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Seaside vacation.
(Preview)
A woman arrived rather late at night at a seaside hotel where she had made a reservation. All the lights were out, so she knocked on the door. After a long time a light appeared in an upstairs window and a man called out. "Who are you? What do you want?" he yelled down. "I'm staying here!" the woman replied...
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Possum3
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0
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669
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Now this is funny..or...am I warped? Kitty Flannagan at Restaurant...MP4 Video
(Preview)
Lee Mack and Kitty Flanagan..what a combination!.....Hoo Roo
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Goldfinger
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2
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1284
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Husbans Store
(Preview)
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends...
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Hendo
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1
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812
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Every Public Transport needs a Clint Eastwood on board these days...short video..
(Preview)
Clint Eastwood had a winning way about him..didn't he?....Hoo Roo -- Edited by Goldfinger on Friday 11th of January 2019 09:05:02 AM
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Goldfinger
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1
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609
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Reuse
(Preview)
At the end of the tax year, the Australian Tax Office sent a tax inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the taxman was checking the books, he turned to the executive of the hospital and said: I notice you buy a lot of bandages. I imagine there's a lot of wastage there. What do you do with the...
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rgren2
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0
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784
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Coincidence
(Preview)
A farmer went to a local bar and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman sitting next to him said, 'How about that? I just ordered champagne too! !'What a coincidence' the farmer said. 'This is a special day for me.I'm celebrating.'This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating,' said the woma...
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rgren2
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0
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770
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How much?
(Preview)
A pretty young woman walked up to the fabric counter at a store and said, I would like to buy this material for my new dress. How much does it cost? Only one kiss per metre, replied the male clerk with a smirk on his face. Thats fine, said the woman. Ill take five metres. With expectation and anticipation wr...
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Possum3
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0
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758
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Tips for genuine Aussie Country Etiquette....
(Preview)
IN GENERAL: 1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview... 2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them. 3. It's tacky to take your Esky to Church. 4. If you have to vacuum your bed, it's time you changed your sheets.... 5. Even if your certain you're included in the Will, its con...
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Goldfinger
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1
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703
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Animal Heaven
(Preview)
A German Shepherd, Doberman and a cat have died. All three are faced with God, who wants to know what they believe in. The German shepherd says, I believe in discipline training and loyalty to my master. Good, says God. Then sit down on my right side. Doberman, what do you believe in? The Doberman answer...
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Possum3
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0
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651
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Friday Funnies
(Preview)
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counselling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship" the wife explained. "He studied communications, and I studied theatre arts. He communicates really well, and I just a...
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fwdoz
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0
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694
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Mother.
(Preview)
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. When he reached the checkout line he realised the old lady was in front of him in line. Pardon me, she turned around and said to the...
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Possum3
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1
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791
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