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DON'T YOU EVER STOP?
(Preview)
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed. As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife...
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Paintar
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2
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844
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Modern Aesop's Fable
(Preview)
A horse and a chicken were walking down a country road and they saw that there was some corn just across the ditch by the road. The horse walked over to eat the corn. Before he got to the corn he became stuck in the mud. For all his trying he could not get out of the mud. So he tells the chicken, Hey, go over to...
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Possum3
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2
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803
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Cold shower!
(Preview)
Not a joke, a true story, but made me laugh lots....... until! 3am, second nite in our new (to us) van with ensuite. Darling wife goes for a wee. I hear a hell of a scream, a few expletives, then silence. Wife gets back in to bed, hair dripping wet. "What the bloody hell happened?" I ask. "I dumped the stupi...
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Dave Jezza
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1
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936
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Boring Sermon.
(Preview)
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at her local church. Reverend, she said, I have a problem my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. Its very embarrassing. What should I do? I have an idea, said the minister. Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones...
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Possum3
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1
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745
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Church Gossip....
(Preview)
Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals,kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra- curricular activities,but feared her enough to maintain their silence.She made a mistake, however, when she accus...
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aussie_paul
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2
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835
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Family camping race call
(Preview)
I have tried this before and it was blocked as potential spam, I cant see how. Ill try again https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=przuq9TDUFE -- Edited by drtooheys on Monday 29th of January 2018 03:07:03 PM
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drtooheys
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4
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1056
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Problem solving...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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931
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Forensic students.
(Preview)
An autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear. Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpses anus, he then licked hi...
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Possum3
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2
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861
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Family Camping Trip
(Preview)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=przuq9TDUFE
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drtooheys
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0
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389
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New diet
(Preview)
Yesterday I was at Costco, buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Owen, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog,...
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villatranquilla
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1
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791
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Zoo Trip
(Preview)
Its a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. Shes wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on with one hand (and 2 f...
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Possum3
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1
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843
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God's work.
(Preview)
A little girl got on her grandpas lap and asked, Did God make me? He sure did, the grandpa replied. Did God make you too? Yes sweetheart, the grandpa said. Well, the little girl said, looking at his wrinkles and white hair. He sure is doing a better job these days!
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Possum3
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1
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866
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And, Why?
(Preview)
A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, Do you have any sales experience? The kid says, Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas. Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. You start tomorrow. Ill come down after we close and...
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Possum3
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2
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991
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The Great Pub Debate
(Preview)
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Phillipn
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1
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991
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Bottle of wine
(Preview)
For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a Bottle of Wine. Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of...
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Spook
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1
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995
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You'll never do it.
(Preview)
A woman stands over her tee shot for what seems an eternity: looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Finally her exasperated playing partner says, Whats taking so long? Hit the damn ball! The woman answers, My husband is up there watching me from the c...
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Possum3
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2
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916
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How?
(Preview)
A farmer goes to a livestock dealer and buys an anvil, a bucket, two chickens, and a goose. The farmer looks at his purchases and says, Damn, I WALKED here. How am I gonna carry all this home? The livestock dealer said, Why dont you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken unde...
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Possum3
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2
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825
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For Australia Day
(Preview)
Have a great day -- Edited by Possum3 on Wednesday 24th of January 2018 07:48:37 AM -- Edited by Possum3 on Wednesday 24th of January 2018 07:51:17 AM
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Possum3
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5
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1030
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Having a real bad day...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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998
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Another bad day...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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859
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