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A Few of my favourite things
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Does this fit for you ? Julie Andrews Turning 79 - this is hysterical! To commemorate her birthday , actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favourite Things' fr...
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Cupie
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lol...
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aussie_paul
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Door knocker
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Today a man knocked at my door and asked for a small donation towards a local swimming pool.. I gave him a glass of water. woody
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Woody n Sue
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1
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908
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'A Rectum Stretcher!'
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A Winchester woman driving along at speed passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk & asked, 'What's your hurry?'She replied, 'I'm late for work.''Oh yeah,' said the cop...
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aussie_paul
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996
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Pick up hitchhiker ?
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Aus-Kiwi
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799
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My Pet Mud Crab
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Just love this guy .. A bit controversial at times though.
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Cupie
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979
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A HEART WARMING LAWYER STORY?
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One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass ?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "We...
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Blues Man
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652
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Car Problems
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My wife came home yesterday and said "Honey, the car won't start, but I know what the problem is". I asked her what it was and she told me it had water in the carburettor. I thought for a moment, then said "You know I don't mean this badly, but you're not mechanically inclined. You don't know the carburetto...
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fwdoz
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Football Wedding
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Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding. One says "It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 93 years old, and she's just 26! What kind of a wedding is that?" The other says "Well, we have a name for it in my family". "What do you call it?" "We call it a football wedding". The first asks "What's...
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fwdoz
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1
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692
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Missing Bike
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A young pastor who normally rode a bike was walking despondently down the street when he came upon an older more experienced pastor.The older pastor could see his young friend was troubled deeply. "What is bothering you my son?" he asked. "Well it appears a member of my congregation has stolen my bike...
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fwdoz
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728
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Christian Lion
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Two guys are walking through a game park and they come across a lion that has not eaten for days. The lion starts chasing the two men. They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer "Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord". He looks to see if the lion is still...
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fwdoz
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751
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Lost
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I don't usually lose things but: when I do It's because the Wife has moved it!
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Possum3
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Church Wedding?
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Three couples are trying to get married at the same church. There is a young couple, a middle-aged couple, and an elderly couple. The three couples meet with the priest and discuss when they can get married. If you wish to get married in my church, you must all go one month without having sex, says the pri...
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Possum3
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The Pope & The Don
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LLD
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For Sale
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LLD
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870
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In the spirit of things.
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A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers attention, he is yelling: Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here! A shocked pastor is passing and hears this. He asks: Why are you calling them dam fish?' The boy responds: Because I caught these fish at the local dam. So the pastor buys a couple fis...
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Possum3
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Logical.
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I got chatting with a girl in a bar last night, "Can I buy you a drink?" I asked. "Don't you have a girlfriend?" she replied, "Guys like you always have girlfriends. ""No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago," I assured her. "Oh I'm sorry to hear that," she said, "Go on then, I'll have a Cider please.......
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aussie_paul
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2
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995
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Barnaby Joyce
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Q: Are you aware of why Barnaby Joyce is like IKEA? A: One screw in the wrong place and the whole cabinet falls apart!
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fwdoz
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1
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889
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Pet Python
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This blonde was selling her pet python on eBay. A bloke rang up and asked if it was big. She said "It's massive". He said "How many feet?" She said "None. It's a snake you idiot!"
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fwdoz
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837
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The King
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The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours.The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.So, the king and the queen started out for their day of fishing. On the way, he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey...
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fwdoz
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