Just Joking

Possum3 · Possum3

A herd of Buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest Buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This is natural selection and good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular...

rgren2 · rgren2

It had been snowing all night. So:8:00 am I made a snowman.8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.8:15 So, I made a snow woman.8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuouschest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.8:20 The gay couple l...

Possum3 · Possum3

A blonde was sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening she went home and memorised all the state capitals to prove she was smart. Back in the office the next day, a male co-worker started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement. Ive had it up to here with these...

Possum3 · Possum3

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. You all have obsessions, he observed. To the first mother, he said, You are obsessed with eating.Youve even named your daughter Candy. He turned to the second mom. Your obsession is money. Youv...

Possum3 · Possum3

Two men are playing golf and a funeral procession appears on the road next to the course. One of the golfers was about to take a swing, when he noticed the procession. He took off his hat and placed his hand over his heart and bowed his head until the funeral had passed. His opponent was taken aback and said...

Possum3 · Possum3

Copy & paste from MSN.1. Where does the General keep his armies? In his sleevies. 2. How does a squid go into battle? Well-armed. 3. Whats the best thing about Switzerland? I dont know, but their flag is a huge plus. 4. Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it. 5. Why arent koal...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Paintar · Paintar

An old Jewish man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?" "Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she d...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

fwdoz · fwdoz

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their 'secret' base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pi...

fwdoz · fwdoz

A delightful angelic little boy was waiting for his mother outside the ladies room of the gas station.As he stood there, he was approached by a man who asked "Sonny, can you tell me where the Post Office is?"The little boy replied "Sure! Just go straight down this street two blocks and turn to your right...

fwdoz · fwdoz

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. "Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt" the golfer mumbles to himself.Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers "Would you be willing to give up a quarter of your sex life to sink the putt?"Thinking the ma...

fwdoz · fwdoz

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such a...

fwdoz · fwdoz

I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home. It turned out to be a very good decision, bec...

fwdoz · fwdoz

There was once a sheep farmer who had a French farm hand working with him to help castrate his sheep. As the farmer castrated the sheep, the French farm hand took the parts and was about to throw them into the trash. "No!" yelled the farmer "Don't throw those away! My wife fries them up and we eat them, they...

Possum3 · Possum3

A blonde is on a four-engine plane crossing the Atlantic. All of a sudden there's a loud bang. The pilot announces over the intercom, "I'm sorry, one of our engines has just shut off. We'll be delayed 45 minutes". Suddenly there's another bang. Once again, the intercom clicks on and the pilot expr...

Possum3 · Possum3

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, in which impatient passengers fretted in their seats, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by...

Possum3 · Possum3

A blonde woman boards a plane to New York with a ticket for the economy section. She looks at the seats in economy and then looks into the front of the cabin at the first-class seats. Seeing that the first-class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty seat i...

rockylizard · rockylizard

Gday... cheers - John

fwdoz · fwdoz

Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance Particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	That's why. (Preview) A herd of Buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest Buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This is natural selection and good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular...	Possum3	3	874	07:49 PM May 21, 2018 by JA2340
	Can't win. (Preview) It had been snowing all night. So:8:00 am I made a snowman.8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.8:15 So, I made a snow woman.8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuouschest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.8:20 The gay couple l...	rgren2	7	1111	07:48 PM May 21, 2018 by JA2340
	Blonde. (Preview) A blonde was sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening she went home and memorised all the state capitals to prove she was smart. Back in the office the next day, a male co-worker started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement. Ive had it up to here with these...	Possum3	3	950	09:18 AM May 21, 2018 by Blues Man
	Obsessive? (Preview) A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. You all have obsessions, he observed. To the first mother, he said, You are obsessed with eating.Youve even named your daughter Candy. He turned to the second mom. Your obsession is money. Youv...	Possum3	1	1141	09:16 AM May 21, 2018 by Blues Man
	Golf (Preview) Two men are playing golf and a funeral procession appears on the road next to the course. One of the golfers was about to take a swing, when he noticed the procession. He took off his hat and placed his hand over his heart and bowed his head until the funeral had passed. His opponent was taken aback and said...	Possum3	0	925	09:29 AM May 20, 2018 by Possum3
	Sick - Dad jokes (Preview) Copy & paste from MSN.1. Where does the General keep his armies? In his sleevies. 2. How does a squid go into battle? Well-armed. 3. Whats the best thing about Switzerland? I dont know, but their flag is a huge plus. 4. Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it. 5. Why arent koal...	Possum3	0	1048	12:33 PM May 19, 2018 by Possum3
	How many did you get right (Preview)	Woody n Sue	4	1013	10:33 PM May 18, 2018 by Woody n Sue
	Tight one (Preview) An old Jewish man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?" "Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she d...	Paintar	2	1021	10:31 PM May 18, 2018 by Woody n Sue
	A priest is missing an ummmm Roster (Preview)	Woody n Sue	2	1011	08:42 PM May 18, 2018 by JA2340
	Area 51 (Preview) You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their 'secret' base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pi...	fwdoz	1	950	07:55 PM May 18, 2018 by 67HR
	Where is the Post Office? (Preview) A delightful angelic little boy was waiting for his mother outside the ladies room of the gas station.As he stood there, he was approached by a man who asked "Sonny, can you tell me where the Post Office is?"The little boy replied "Sure! Just go straight down this street two blocks and turn to your right...	fwdoz	0	884	07:34 PM May 18, 2018 by fwdoz
	Golf Deal (Preview) A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. "Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt" the golfer mumbles to himself.Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers "Would you be willing to give up a quarter of your sex life to sink the putt?"Thinking the ma...	fwdoz	0	872	07:32 PM May 18, 2018 by fwdoz
	Painting Thief (Preview) A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such a...	fwdoz	0	846	07:15 PM May 18, 2018 by fwdoz
	Scotch (Preview) I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home. It turned out to be a very good decision, bec...	fwdoz	0	729	07:12 PM May 18, 2018 by fwdoz
	Fries (Preview) There was once a sheep farmer who had a French farm hand working with him to help castrate his sheep. As the farmer castrated the sheep, the French farm hand took the parts and was about to throw them into the trash. "No!" yelled the farmer "Don't throw those away! My wife fries them up and we eat them, they...	fwdoz	0	892	07:09 PM May 18, 2018 by fwdoz
	Another one. (Preview) A blonde is on a four-engine plane crossing the Atlantic. All of a sudden there's a loud bang. The pilot announces over the intercom, "I'm sorry, one of our engines has just shut off. We'll be delayed 45 minutes". Suddenly there's another bang. Once again, the intercom clicks on and the pilot expr...	Possum3	1	1104	04:12 PM May 17, 2018 by Blues Man
	Not the answer he wanted. (Preview) Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, in which impatient passengers fretted in their seats, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by...	Possum3	1	935	08:23 PM May 15, 2018 by Blues Man
	The right way (Preview) A blonde woman boards a plane to New York with a ticket for the economy section. She looks at the seats in economy and then looks into the front of the cabin at the first-class seats. Seeing that the first-class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty seat i...	Possum3	1	1065	08:22 PM May 15, 2018 by Blues Man
	Band Auditions (Preview) Gday... cheers - John	rockylizard	0	1091	08:12 PM May 13, 2018 by rockylizard
	Tech Relationship Version 2.0 (Preview) Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance Particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable...	fwdoz	0	888	05:20 PM May 12, 2018 by fwdoz
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