Just Joking

fwdoz · fwdoz

Dear Tech Support Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began running unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initializat...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

A man rushed into a bar and ordered a double martini.The man downed it with one swallow, put a five dollar bill on the bar, and turned and rushed out of the bar.The bartender picked up the five dollar bill, and folded it carefully and tucked it in his vest pocket.Just at that moment he looked up at the boss s...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Cousin Elly, who happens to be blonde, is the worlds worst at getting instructions mixed up.When she got married her husband bought her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers.It had all the latest gadgets on it.Salesman Riley carefully explained how everything worked; how to plug it in, set th...

fwdoz · fwdoz

There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into the Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his instruments went out. So, he began circling around looking for a landmark. After an ho...

sarg · sarg

Little Johnny's at it again... The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate' no...

rgren2 · rgren2

A $50 Lesson:Recently, while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog. During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up.She said she wanted to be Prime Minister someday...

Paintar · Paintar

The night was moonless, bleak and heavy with misting rain.There had been a terrible accident. The wet crumpled body was lifted with careful hands from the twisted wreckage to the waiting gurney. Flashing red lights alone lit the night and the shining lifeless face. Much later, the last survivor, l...

Dickodownunder · Dickodownunder

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists foundtraces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion thattheir ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by the British, in the weeks that followed, an Americanarcha...

rgren2 · rgren2

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they wont tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.Well, he said, Its what mommy c...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

Possum3 · Possum3

An old man was surprised when his gorgeous, young female neighbour knocked on his door one evening. As soon as he opened the door, she blurted out, I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, go out for some drinks and spend the night with someone. Are you doing anything tonight? With a...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

I talked to a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way. He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library. I was wor...

fwdoz · fwdoz

There's been a bad accident at my local Indian restaurant. Hope to god the chef pulls through. The last I heard he'd slipped into a korma.

Craig1 · Craig1

AAT members are to get an ALL inclusive 3 day junket on the Gold Coast, HALF A MILLION DOLLARS cost, paid for by the rest of us. Just joking about the junket bit.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Barb was lying in bed one night. Larry was falling asleep butBarb was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to getback to sleep.A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kis...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Technology Relationship (Preview) Dear Tech Support Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began running unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initializat...	fwdoz	0	884	05:08 PM May 12, 2018 by fwdoz
	Sex education from Johny (Preview)	Woody n Sue	0	939	02:13 PM May 12, 2018 by Woody n Sue
	Fast thinking barman (Preview) A man rushed into a bar and ordered a double martini.The man downed it with one swallow, put a five dollar bill on the bar, and turned and rushed out of the bar.The bartender picked up the five dollar bill, and folded it carefully and tucked it in his vest pocket.Just at that moment he looked up at the boss s...	Woody n Sue	0	867	02:12 PM May 12, 2018 by Woody n Sue
	Coffee maker oh alright it’s a blond joke (Preview) Cousin Elly, who happens to be blonde, is the worlds worst at getting instructions mixed up.When she got married her husband bought her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers.It had all the latest gadgets on it.Salesman Riley carefully explained how everything worked; how to plug it in, set th...	Woody n Sue	0	860	07:04 PM May 11, 2018 by Woody n Sue
	What is Microsoft good for? (Preview) There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into the Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his instruments went out. So, he began circling around looking for a landmark. After an ho...	fwdoz	0	897	06:18 PM May 11, 2018 by fwdoz
	oh no, not little Johnny again..... (Preview) Little Johnny's at it again... The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate' no...	sarg	1	937	07:36 AM May 11, 2018 by Blues Man
	Common Cents. (Preview) A $50 Lesson:Recently, while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog. During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up.She said she wanted to be Prime Minister someday...	rgren2	4	1035	05:00 PM May 7, 2018 by Baggie
	A Positive Attitude The Australian way (Preview) The night was moonless, bleak and heavy with misting rain.There had been a terrible accident. The wet crumpled body was lifted with careful hands from the twisted wreckage to the waiting gurney. Flashing red lights alone lit the night and the shining lifeless face. Much later, the last survivor, l...	Paintar	0	1160	09:23 AM May 7, 2018 by Paintar
	Phone services (Preview) After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists foundtraces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion thattheir ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by the British, in the weeks that followed, an Americanarcha...	Dickodownunder	1	1114	08:04 AM May 7, 2018 by Blues Man
	Oh Deer. (Preview) A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they wont tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.Well, he said, Its what mommy c...	rgren2	1	1073	08:03 AM May 7, 2018 by Blues Man
	lol... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	2	1210	08:02 AM May 7, 2018 by Blues Man
	Pick on Paddy again. (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	1	1266	08:00 AM May 7, 2018 by Blues Man
	Are you doing anything tonight?” (Preview) An old man was surprised when his gorgeous, young female neighbour knocked on his door one evening. As soon as he opened the door, she blurted out, I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, go out for some drinks and spend the night with someone. Are you doing anything tonight? With a...	Possum3	0	975	10:51 PM May 5, 2018 by Possum3
	Mr. Clark's case.. (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	1	1077	07:01 AM May 5, 2018 by Blues Man
	LOST IT ALL.. (Preview) I talked to a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way. He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library. I was wor...	aussie_paul	1	968	07:00 AM May 5, 2018 by Blues Man
	Restaurant Accident (Preview) There's been a bad accident at my local Indian restaurant. Hope to god the chef pulls through. The last I heard he'd slipped into a korma.	fwdoz	1	1262	06:55 AM May 5, 2018 by Blues Man
	HAPPY HOLIDAYS ON THE REST OF AUSTRALIA (Preview) AAT members are to get an ALL inclusive 3 day junket on the Gold Coast, HALF A MILLION DOLLARS cost, paid for by the rest of us. Just joking about the junket bit.	Craig1	0	1071	10:05 PM May 4, 2018 by Craig1
	The dentist.. (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	882	05:04 PM May 4, 2018 by aussie_paul
	Ain't it true... (Preview) Barb was lying in bed one night. Larry was falling asleep butBarb was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to getback to sleep.A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kis...	aussie_paul	2	1187	09:35 AM May 4, 2018 by grahos
	What I have learned (Preview)	Woody n Sue	1	1177	09:33 AM May 4, 2018 by grahos
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