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New diet
(Preview)
Yesterday I was at Costco, buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Owen, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog,...
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villatranquilla
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1
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814
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Zoo Trip
(Preview)
Its a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. Shes wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on with one hand (and 2 f...
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Possum3
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1
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851
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God's work.
(Preview)
A little girl got on her grandpas lap and asked, Did God make me? He sure did, the grandpa replied. Did God make you too? Yes sweetheart, the grandpa said. Well, the little girl said, looking at his wrinkles and white hair. He sure is doing a better job these days!
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Possum3
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1
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873
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And, Why?
(Preview)
A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, Do you have any sales experience? The kid says, Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas. Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. You start tomorrow. Ill come down after we close and...
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Possum3
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2
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1002
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The Great Pub Debate
(Preview)
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Phillipn
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1
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1009
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Bottle of wine
(Preview)
For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a Bottle of Wine. Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of...
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Spook
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1
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1010
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You'll never do it.
(Preview)
A woman stands over her tee shot for what seems an eternity: looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Finally her exasperated playing partner says, Whats taking so long? Hit the damn ball! The woman answers, My husband is up there watching me from the c...
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Possum3
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2
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927
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How?
(Preview)
A farmer goes to a livestock dealer and buys an anvil, a bucket, two chickens, and a goose. The farmer looks at his purchases and says, Damn, I WALKED here. How am I gonna carry all this home? The livestock dealer said, Why dont you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken unde...
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Possum3
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2
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834
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For Australia Day
(Preview)
Have a great day -- Edited by Possum3 on Wednesday 24th of January 2018 07:48:37 AM -- Edited by Possum3 on Wednesday 24th of January 2018 07:51:17 AM
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Possum3
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5
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1064
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Having a real bad day...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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1011
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Another bad day...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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868
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Where?
(Preview)
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captains parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick...
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Possum3
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1
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839
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Just Heavenly
(Preview)
A man and a woman were on their way to get married when they were involved in a car accident. The couple stood outside Heavens gate, waiting on Saint Peter to do the paperwork so they could enter. Do you think we can still get married in heaven? the man said to Saint Peter. He looked puzzled. You know, t...
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Possum3
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1
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850
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Do you Smoke?
(Preview)
Years of smoking finally caught up with John one morning at work when he keeled over, clutching his heart. He was rushed to hospital and inundated with questions from concerned staff. Do you smoke? Asked a paramedic. No, John replied quietly, I quit. Thats good, the paramedic stated, when did you qui...
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Possum3
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0
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880
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Tne Internet According to the Bible
(Preview)
HOW THE INTERNET STARTED, ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE Please do not Google or check this with Snopes. They will lie to you. Trust me! In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, large o...
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RustyD
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3
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937
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Dicks
(Preview)
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RustyD
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2
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1269
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How to catch fish
(Preview)
No one in this town could catch any fish except this one old man.The game warden asked him how he did it.The man told the game warden that he would take him fishing the next day. Once they got to the middle of the lake the man took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the water.After the explosi...
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Woody n Sue
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0
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1063
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Construction Worker.
(Preview)
A man is working on a construction site when he accidentally cuts off all of his fingers with an electric saw. At the emergency room, his doctor says, Give me the fingers, and Ill see what I can do. The injured man replies, But I dont have the fingers! Why didnt you bring them? the doctor asks. The injured m...
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Possum3
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0
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794
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What a pisser....
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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2
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1181
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Dancing Lesson.
(Preview)
AN OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST. AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUG...
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Possum3
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1
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887
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