Just Joking

Gaylehere · Gaylehere

Six old retired guys sat playing poker at Gerry's house one night when Rocco loses $600 in a single hand. At the shock of this he clutches his chest and drops dead from a heart attack. Tony says "Who's going to tell his wife." None of them want this horrible job so they cut the pack and the lowest card loses...

Paintar · Paintar

A Guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut ? The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, 'About 2 hours.' The guy left. A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut ?' The barber looked arou...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A university English creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing the following elements:1. Religion2. Royalty3. Physical Disability4. Racism5. HomosexualityThe prize-winner wrote:'My God,' cried the Queen, 'That one-legg...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A husband desperate to end an argument offers to buy his wife a new car. She curtly declines his offer by saying, Thats not quite what I had in mind. Frantically he offers her a new house. Again, she rejects his offer, Thats not quite what I had in mind.Curious, he asks: What did you have in mind?She retor...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

fwdoz · fwdoz

-A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200. -What's the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus. -There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down her sneered at me and I thought, well that's...

fwdoz · fwdoz

A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says that there's nothing special... we just flat out tell' em they're gonna die...

Tony Bev · Tony Bev

Donald Trump is walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo when a possible assassin steps forward and aims a gun. A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts Mickey Mouse! This startles the would be assassin and he is captured. Later, the secret service agents supervisor takes him...

oldbloke · oldbloke

A bloke walks into a bar and orders 5 top shelf single malt whiskeys. The bartender lines them up and the bloke tosses them all back, bam!, one after the other in super quick time before the bartender has even put down the bottle. And the bartender is amazed and says to him "wow, I've never seen anyone ever...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks How do you guys relieve your s*xual tension?Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and well show you.The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says Since youre our guest you get to go first.The doctor not...

kiwijims · kiwijims

K.J.

fwdoz · fwdoz

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a retiring doctor. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to the new doctor.At the first house a woman complains "I've been a little sick to my stomach ". The older doctor say...

Paintar · Paintar

A LOVE STORY I will seek and find you. I shall take you to bed, and have my way with you. I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan. I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop. I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you. And, when I am finish...

Possum3 · Possum3

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, But she belonged to someone else One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, Ill give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you. But the girl said NO.... Johnny said, Ill be fast. Ill throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and Ill be...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, Hey lady, you are really ugly.Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home, she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, Hey lady, you are really ugl...

fwdoz · fwdoz

Yesterday my daughter emailed me again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time."Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?" I asked.Her talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favourite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me" sh...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Jim, you are such a conservative guy and you wear this strange earring. I always wanted to ask you how long you have been wearing it. I know you are married so you are not gay but the earring looks pretty feminine. So can you tell me whats with this earring? Dont worry, Peter. I am not gay, and yes this is a fem...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A man walks into the bedroom with his naked wife in the bed. His wife notices he is holding a parrot. Honey, why are you holding a parrot? Let it go and come to me. This is an elephant I want to have s.x with. This is not an elephant. This is a parrot. I was talking to the parrot.!!!!!!!!!!! Aussie Paul.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

At the urging of his doctor, Jackie moved to Montana.After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.Jackie asks to the older man; Is this really a healthy place?It sure is, the man replied.When I first arrived here I couldnt say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didnt have the str...

boab · boab

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhf1pIl007o

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Six old retired guys sat playing poker ......... (Preview) Six old retired guys sat playing poker at Gerry's house one night when Rocco loses $600 in a single hand. At the shock of this he clutches his chest and drops dead from a heart attack. Tony says "Who's going to tell his wife." None of them want this horrible job so they cut the pack and the lowest card loses...	Gaylehere	0	1062	04:53 PM Apr 1, 2018 by Gaylehere
	'How long before I can get a haircut ?' (Preview) A Guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut ? The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, 'About 2 hours.' The guy left. A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut ?' The barber looked arou...	Paintar	0	917	04:40 PM Apr 1, 2018 by Paintar
	A university English creative writing class... (Preview) A university English creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing the following elements:1. Religion2. Royalty3. Physical Disability4. Racism5. HomosexualityThe prize-winner wrote:'My God,' cried the Queen, 'That one-legg...	aussie_paul	0	1062	10:30 AM Apr 1, 2018 by aussie_paul
	A husband desperate to end an argument... (Preview) A husband desperate to end an argument offers to buy his wife a new car. She curtly declines his offer by saying, Thats not quite what I had in mind. Frantically he offers her a new house. Again, she rejects his offer, Thats not quite what I had in mind.Curious, he asks: What did you have in mind?She retor...	aussie_paul	3	1091	04:24 PM Mar 31, 2018 by Aus-Kiwi
	lol... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	916	08:31 PM Mar 30, 2018 by aussie_paul
	Short Jokes (Preview) -A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200. -What's the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus. -There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down her sneered at me and I thought, well that's...	fwdoz	1	1471	05:50 PM Mar 30, 2018 by JA2340
	Chicken (Preview) A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says that there's nothing special... we just flat out tell' em they're gonna die...	fwdoz	0	844	09:45 AM Mar 30, 2018 by fwdoz
	Donald Joke (Preview) Donald Trump is walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo when a possible assassin steps forward and aims a gun. A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts Mickey Mouse! This startles the would be assassin and he is captured. Later, the secret service agents supervisor takes him...	Tony Bev	0	817	01:00 AM Mar 30, 2018 by Tony Bev
	Bar (Preview) A bloke walks into a bar and orders 5 top shelf single malt whiskeys. The bartender lines them up and the bloke tosses them all back, bam!, one after the other in super quick time before the bartender has even put down the bottle. And the bartender is amazed and says to him "wow, I've never seen anyone ever...	oldbloke	0	984	11:01 PM Mar 28, 2018 by oldbloke
	sexual tension... (Preview) A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks How do you guys relieve your s*xual tension?Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and well show you.The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says Since youre our guest you get to go first.The doctor not...	aussie_paul	1	1172	10:59 AM Mar 28, 2018 by RustyD
	Cricket gone wrong..... (Preview) K.J.	kiwijims	1	977	06:43 PM Mar 27, 2018 by Dickodownunder
	New Doctor (Preview) A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a retiring doctor. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to the new doctor.At the first house a woman complains "I've been a little sick to my stomach ". The older doctor say...	fwdoz	3	1071	02:28 PM Mar 27, 2018 by JA2340
	Love Story (Preview) A LOVE STORY I will seek and find you. I shall take you to bed, and have my way with you. I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan. I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop. I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you. And, when I am finish...	Paintar	1	1034	01:22 PM Mar 26, 2018 by grahos
	Management Lesson. (Preview) Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, But she belonged to someone else One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, Ill give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you. But the girl said NO.... Johnny said, Ill be fast. Ill throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and Ill be...	Possum3	1	1139	01:16 PM Mar 25, 2018 by fwdoz
	Lady & the parrot... (Preview) A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, Hey lady, you are really ugly.Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home, she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, Hey lady, you are really ugl...	aussie_paul	0	1022	10:50 PM Mar 24, 2018 by aussie_paul
	Senior Citizen (Preview) Yesterday my daughter emailed me again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time."Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?" I asked.Her talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favourite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me" sh...	fwdoz	2	1153	06:52 PM Mar 23, 2018 by fwdoz
	Ha ha... (Preview) Jim, you are such a conservative guy and you wear this strange earring. I always wanted to ask you how long you have been wearing it. I know you are married so you are not gay but the earring looks pretty feminine. So can you tell me whats with this earring? Dont worry, Peter. I am not gay, and yes this is a fem...	aussie_paul	1	977	12:13 PM Mar 23, 2018 by RustyD
	A man walks into the bedroom.... (Preview) A man walks into the bedroom with his naked wife in the bed. His wife notices he is holding a parrot. Honey, why are you holding a parrot? Let it go and come to me. This is an elephant I want to have s.x with. This is not an elephant. This is a parrot. I was talking to the parrot.!!!!!!!!!!! Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	1	1074	08:06 AM Mar 23, 2018 by Woody n Sue
	Doctors advice... (Preview) At the urging of his doctor, Jackie moved to Montana.After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.Jackie asks to the older man; Is this really a healthy place?It sure is, the man replied.When I first arrived here I couldnt say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didnt have the str...	aussie_paul	0	959	06:12 PM Mar 21, 2018 by aussie_paul
	dont know if this will work but it gave me a giggle (Preview) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhf1pIl007o	boab	1	1081	04:25 PM Mar 21, 2018 by Possum3
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