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Fries
(Preview)
There was once a sheep farmer who had a French farm hand working with him to help castrate his sheep. As the farmer castrated the sheep, the French farm hand took the parts and was about to throw them into the trash. "No!" yelled the farmer "Don't throw those away! My wife fries them up and we eat them, they...
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fwdoz
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0
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937
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Another one.
(Preview)
A blonde is on a four-engine plane crossing the Atlantic. All of a sudden there's a loud bang. The pilot announces over the intercom, "I'm sorry, one of our engines has just shut off. We'll be delayed 45 minutes". Suddenly there's another bang. Once again, the intercom clicks on and the pilot expr...
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Possum3
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1
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1138
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Not the answer he wanted.
(Preview)
Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, in which impatient passengers fretted in their seats, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by...
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Possum3
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1
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971
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The right way
(Preview)
A blonde woman boards a plane to New York with a ticket for the economy section. She looks at the seats in economy and then looks into the front of the cabin at the first-class seats. Seeing that the first-class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty seat i...
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Possum3
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1
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1096
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Band Auditions
(Preview)
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rockylizard
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0
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1123
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Tech Relationship Version 2.0
(Preview)
Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance Particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable...
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fwdoz
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0
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918
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Technology Relationship
(Preview)
Dear Tech Support Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began running unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initializat...
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fwdoz
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0
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918
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Sex education from Johny
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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976
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Fast thinking barman
(Preview)
A man rushed into a bar and ordered a double martini.The man downed it with one swallow, put a five dollar bill on the bar, and turned and rushed out of the bar.The bartender picked up the five dollar bill, and folded it carefully and tucked it in his vest pocket.Just at that moment he looked up at the boss s...
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Woody n Sue
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0
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889
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Coffee maker oh alright it’s a blond joke
(Preview)
Cousin Elly, who happens to be blonde, is the worlds worst at getting instructions mixed up.When she got married her husband bought her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers.It had all the latest gadgets on it.Salesman Riley carefully explained how everything worked; how to plug it in, set th...
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Woody n Sue
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0
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884
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What is Microsoft good for?
(Preview)
There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into the Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his instruments went out. So, he began circling around looking for a landmark. After an ho...
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fwdoz
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0
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926
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oh no, not little Johnny again.....
(Preview)
Little Johnny's at it again... The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate' no...
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sarg
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1
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965
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Common Cents.
(Preview)
A $50 Lesson:Recently, while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog. During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up.She said she wanted to be Prime Minister someday...
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rgren2
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4
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1065
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A Positive Attitude The Australian way
(Preview)
The night was moonless, bleak and heavy with misting rain.There had been a terrible accident. The wet crumpled body was lifted with careful hands from the twisted wreckage to the waiting gurney. Flashing red lights alone lit the night and the shining lifeless face. Much later, the last survivor, l...
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Paintar
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0
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1184
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Phone services
(Preview)
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists foundtraces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion thattheir ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by the British, in the weeks that followed, an Americanarcha...
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Dickodownunder
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1
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1151
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Oh Deer.
(Preview)
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they wont tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.Well, he said, Its what mommy c...
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rgren2
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1
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1107
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lol...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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2
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1237
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Pick on Paddy again.
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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1294
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Are you doing anything tonight?”
(Preview)
An old man was surprised when his gorgeous, young female neighbour knocked on his door one evening. As soon as he opened the door, she blurted out, I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, go out for some drinks and spend the night with someone. Are you doing anything tonight? With a...
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Possum3
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0
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1001
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Mr. Clark's case..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
|
1
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1104
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