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You can now plant the tomatoes
(Preview)
An old gentleman lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: Dear Vincent, I am feeling...
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Woody2
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2
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687
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Breast feeding baby
(Preview)
A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby. The baby wouldn't take it so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us." Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding, so she sa...
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Woody2
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1
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764
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Does it hurt
(Preview)
A man entered the bus with both of his front pants pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, 'It's golf balls'. Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at hi...
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Woody2
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1
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906
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A Message from Bessie Windsor
(Preview)
A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA, and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your i...
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RustyD
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0
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771
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Advantages of mothers milk
(Preview)
Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:1) It is perfect formula f...
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Woody2
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0
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685
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You gotta love Grandmas!
(Preview)
A doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the doctor was looking through these his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescripti...
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Woody2
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0
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712
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Is this what we have to look forward too
(Preview)
This is something that happened at an assisted living center. The people who lived there have small apartments but they all eat at a central cafeteria. One morning one of the residents didn't show up for breakfast so my wife went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if everything was OK. She could hea...
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Woody2
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0
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687
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Gated...
(Preview)
Aussie Paul. -- Edited by aussie_paul on Thursday 6th of July 2017 11:28:58 AM
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aussie_paul
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1
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750
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Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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831
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Getting Old Should Require Training ...
(Preview)
Getting Old Should Require Training ... I bought a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: "Remove cap and push up bottom." It hurts to walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely .
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aussie_paul
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3
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752
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Another lol.
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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698
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Enjoyment..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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770
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Somethings different..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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722
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She is hot...
(Preview)
Husband: Love..... Wife: Leave me alone! Husband: It won't take long. Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards. Husband: I can't sleep now. Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? Husband: Because I'm hot. Wife: You get hot at the darnedest times. H...
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aussie_paul
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0
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797
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Old Meanings
(Preview)
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RustyD
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0
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665
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Another Year Older
(Preview)
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RustyD
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0
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690
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Try again
(Preview)
The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, So I did; she's 21 and her name's Lucy. ----------------------------------------------------------- Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "paedophile" and other names at me, Just because my girlfriend...
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Possum3
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1
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748
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Too Much Sex
(Preview)
I couldn't help but over-hear two young guys in their mid-twenties while sitting at the bar last night. One of the guys says to his buddy: "Man you look tired. His buddy says: Man I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time. She's after me 3 & 4 times a day, I just don't know what to do." A f...
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RustyD
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0
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676
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Guys I need some help !
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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1
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854
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Cooktown
(Preview)
FOUR old retired guys are walking down a street in Cooktown. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, 'Come on in and let me...
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RustyD
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1
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764
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