Just Joking

Possum3 · Possum3

A Praying Mantis was drinking at a bar with his mates. It was already two hours after he told his wife he would be home. He said "I might just have one more beer çoz when I get home she's just gunna bite my head off anyway".

Possum3 · Possum3

Curious about the world, little Peter asks his mother her age. She replies, Real gentleman never ask a lady that question. Unsatisfied, little Peter than asks his mother how much she weighs. Again, she replies, Real gentleman never ask a lady that question. He then asks her why his father left her. Yo...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

An avid golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him."I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!""Oh God no!" cries the man. "My golfing is over...

rgren2 · rgren2

Bruce and Trevor are beggars. They beg in different areas of Bondi.Bruce begs just as long as Trevor but only collects two to three dollars every day.Trevor brings home a suitcase full of ten-dollar notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.Bruce says to T...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very ornery, and difficult to handle.Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of that species av...

Possum3 · Possum3

An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem and decided to put her to the test. One evening, he crept up on her while she was knitting in her favourite chair and whispered, Honey, can you hear me? After no response, he moved closer and said a little louder, Honey, can you hear me? Finally, he...

Possum3 · Possum3

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender: Hey, if I show you something cool, can I get a free beer? The bartender scowls, and replies: It had better be really cool. The man takes a Ken doll-like figure out of his bag, and puts it on the bar before the bartender can protest, before also pulling out a tin...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

An Irishman's first drink with his son...While reading an article last night about fathers and sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint.Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from the cottage.I got him a Guinness. He didn't like it, so I drank it.Then I got h...

Possum3 · Possum3

I wish that my Robert would stop biting his nails, it gets me very upset, one lady said. My Calvin used to do the same thing, the other woman said. But I broke him of the habit. How? The first women asked. I hid his teeth.

RustyD · RustyD

-- Edited by RustyD on Friday 2nd of February 2018 10:55:58 AM

RustyD · RustyD

Possum3 · Possum3

A little old lady went into the headquarters of the Bank of America, one day, carrying a large bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, Its a lot of money! The receptionist objected, stating, You cant just walk in here and expect to s...

Possum3 · Possum3

One day, a boy was walking down a road when a frog called to him, Boy, if you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess. The boy picked up the frog, smiled at it, then placed the frog into his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog said, Boy, if you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, and I wil...

Paintar · Paintar

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed. As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife...

Possum3 · Possum3

A horse and a chicken were walking down a country road and they saw that there was some corn just across the ditch by the road. The horse walked over to eat the corn. Before he got to the corn he became stuck in the mud. For all his trying he could not get out of the mud. So he tells the chicken, Hey, go over to...

Dave Jezza · Dave Jezza

Not a joke, a true story, but made me laugh lots....... until! 3am, second nite in our new (to us) van with ensuite. Darling wife goes for a wee. I hear a hell of a scream, a few expletives, then silence. Wife gets back in to bed, hair dripping wet. "What the bloody hell happened?" I ask. "I dumped the stupi...

Possum3 · Possum3

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at her local church. Reverend, she said, I have a problem my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. Its very embarrassing. What should I do? I have an idea, said the minister. Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals,kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra- curricular activities,but feared her enough to maintain their silence.She made a mistake, however, when she accus...

drtooheys · drtooheys

I have tried this before and it was blocked as potential spam, I cant see how. Ill try again https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=przuq9TDUFE -- Edited by drtooheys on Monday 29th of January 2018 03:07:03 PM

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	One more beer (Preview) A Praying Mantis was drinking at a bar with his mates. It was already two hours after he told his wife he would be home. He said "I might just have one more beer çoz when I get home she's just gunna bite my head off anyway".	Possum3	0	803	03:42 PM Feb 6, 2018 by Possum3
	Don't ask. (Preview) Curious about the world, little Peter asks his mother her age. She replies, Real gentleman never ask a lady that question. Unsatisfied, little Peter than asks his mother how much she weighs. Again, she replies, Real gentleman never ask a lady that question. He then asks her why his father left her. Yo...	Possum3	2	905	10:52 AM Feb 6, 2018 by Possum3
	AN AVID GOLFER.... (Preview) An avid golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him."I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!""Oh God no!" cries the man. "My golfing is over...	aussie_paul	1	976	10:23 AM Feb 6, 2018 by Blues Man
	Beggar me. (Preview) Bruce and Trevor are beggars. They beg in different areas of Bondi.Bruce begs just as long as Trevor but only collects two to three dollars every day.Trevor brings home a suitcase full of ten-dollar notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.Bruce says to T...	rgren2	1	947	07:36 AM Feb 5, 2018 by Blues Man
	It took 50 years BUT she has been found... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	1	1064	07:35 AM Feb 5, 2018 by Blues Man
	A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla... (Preview) A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very ornery, and difficult to handle.Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of that species av...	aussie_paul	1	866	07:31 AM Feb 5, 2018 by Blues Man
	Testing (Preview) An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem and decided to put her to the test. One evening, he crept up on her while she was knitting in her favourite chair and whispered, Honey, can you hear me? After no response, he moved closer and said a little louder, Honey, can you hear me? Finally, he...	Possum3	2	977	11:43 AM Feb 4, 2018 by RustyD
	A man walks into a Bar.... (Preview) A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender: Hey, if I show you something cool, can I get a free beer? The bartender scowls, and replies: It had better be really cool. The man takes a Ken doll-like figure out of his bag, and puts it on the bar before the bartender can protest, before also pulling out a tin...	Possum3	0	938	05:37 PM Feb 3, 2018 by Possum3
	Some Irish Humour... (Preview) An Irishman's first drink with his son...While reading an article last night about fathers and sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint.Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from the cottage.I got him a Guinness. He didn't like it, so I drank it.Then I got h...	aussie_paul	1	1013	07:16 AM Feb 3, 2018 by Blues Man
	Bad Habit. (Preview) I wish that my Robert would stop biting his nails, it gets me very upset, one lady said. My Calvin used to do the same thing, the other woman said. But I broke him of the habit. How? The first women asked. I hid his teeth.	Possum3	0	875	05:06 PM Feb 2, 2018 by Possum3
	Who Wore It Better (Preview) -- Edited by RustyD on Friday 2nd of February 2018 10:55:58 AM	RustyD	1	800	11:16 AM Feb 2, 2018 by Possum3
	Some Pics (Preview)	RustyD	1	842	05:10 PM Jan 31, 2018 by Blues Man
	I like to bet. (Preview) A little old lady went into the headquarters of the Bank of America, one day, carrying a large bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, Its a lot of money! The receptionist objected, stating, You cant just walk in here and expect to s...	Possum3	1	774	05:07 PM Jan 31, 2018 by Blues Man
	Magic Frog. (Preview) One day, a boy was walking down a road when a frog called to him, Boy, if you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess. The boy picked up the frog, smiled at it, then placed the frog into his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog said, Boy, if you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, and I wil...	Possum3	0	854	10:43 AM Jan 31, 2018 by Possum3
	DON'T YOU EVER STOP? (Preview) An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed. As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife...	Paintar	2	896	08:10 AM Jan 31, 2018 by Blues Man
	Modern Aesop's Fable (Preview) A horse and a chicken were walking down a country road and they saw that there was some corn just across the ditch by the road. The horse walked over to eat the corn. Before he got to the corn he became stuck in the mud. For all his trying he could not get out of the mud. So he tells the chicken, Hey, go over to...	Possum3	2	859	10:02 PM Jan 30, 2018 by Craig1
	Cold shower! (Preview) Not a joke, a true story, but made me laugh lots....... until! 3am, second nite in our new (to us) van with ensuite. Darling wife goes for a wee. I hear a hell of a scream, a few expletives, then silence. Wife gets back in to bed, hair dripping wet. "What the bloody hell happened?" I ask. "I dumped the stupi...	Dave Jezza	1	981	09:59 PM Jan 30, 2018 by Gaylehere
	Boring Sermon. (Preview) One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at her local church. Reverend, she said, I have a problem my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. Its very embarrassing. What should I do? I have an idea, said the minister. Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones...	Possum3	1	800	05:15 PM Jan 30, 2018 by Blues Man
	Church Gossip.... (Preview) Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals,kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra- curricular activities,but feared her enough to maintain their silence.She made a mistake, however, when she accus...	aussie_paul	2	877	05:07 PM Jan 30, 2018 by Kisha
	Family camping race call (Preview) I have tried this before and it was blocked as potential spam, I cant see how. Ill try again https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=przuq9TDUFE -- Edited by drtooheys on Monday 29th of January 2018 03:07:03 PM	drtooheys	4	1100	09:25 AM Jan 30, 2018 by drtooheys
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