Just Joking

rgren2 · rgren2

The ATO send an auditor to a synagogue.The auditor is doing all the checks and then turns to the Rabbi, and says, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles.""Yes," answered the Rabbi."Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he asked."A good question," noted the Rabbi."We actually save t...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

To surprise her husband, an executives wife stopped by his office.When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.Without hesitating, he dictatedAnd in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cutsI cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.O...

fwdoz · fwdoz

A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be confident that if any mischief occurred in their town, their two young sons were involved in some capacity. The parents were at their wit's end as to w...

fwdoz · fwdoz

At a wedding party recently someone yelled "All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living". The bartender was nearly crushed to death.

Possum3 · Possum3

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, Ill give you $800 to drop that towel. A...

Possum3 · Possum3

A traveller pulls into a hotel around midnight and asks the clerk for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, the man looks around and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting in the lobby. He tells the clerk to wait, and then disappears into the lobby. After a minute he comes back, with the girl on his a...

rgren2 · rgren2

A journalist goes to a poor remote village for a documentary.He saw an old man and asked him to narrate a typical happy story of his village.The old man smiled and began: "One day, a long time ago, my goat got lost in the mountains. As is our tradition, all the men of the village gathered to drink vodka firs...

Possum3 · Possum3

A herd of Buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest Buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This is natural selection and good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular...

rgren2 · rgren2

It had been snowing all night. So:8:00 am I made a snowman.8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.8:15 So, I made a snow woman.8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuouschest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.8:20 The gay couple l...

Possum3 · Possum3

A blonde was sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening she went home and memorised all the state capitals to prove she was smart. Back in the office the next day, a male co-worker started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement. Ive had it up to here with these...

Possum3 · Possum3

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. You all have obsessions, he observed. To the first mother, he said, You are obsessed with eating.Youve even named your daughter Candy. He turned to the second mom. Your obsession is money. Youv...

Possum3 · Possum3

Two men are playing golf and a funeral procession appears on the road next to the course. One of the golfers was about to take a swing, when he noticed the procession. He took off his hat and placed his hand over his heart and bowed his head until the funeral had passed. His opponent was taken aback and said...

Possum3 · Possum3

Copy & paste from MSN.1. Where does the General keep his armies? In his sleevies. 2. How does a squid go into battle? Well-armed. 3. Whats the best thing about Switzerland? I dont know, but their flag is a huge plus. 4. Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it. 5. Why arent koal...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Paintar · Paintar

An old Jewish man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?" "Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she d...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

fwdoz · fwdoz

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their 'secret' base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pi...

fwdoz · fwdoz

A delightful angelic little boy was waiting for his mother outside the ladies room of the gas station.As he stood there, he was approached by a man who asked "Sonny, can you tell me where the Post Office is?"The little boy replied "Sure! Just go straight down this street two blocks and turn to your right...

fwdoz · fwdoz

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. "Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt" the golfer mumbles to himself.Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers "Would you be willing to give up a quarter of your sex life to sink the putt?"Thinking the ma...

fwdoz · fwdoz

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The Rabbi and the ATO (Preview) The ATO send an auditor to a synagogue.The auditor is doing all the checks and then turns to the Rabbi, and says, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles.""Yes," answered the Rabbi."Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he asked."A good question," noted the Rabbi."We actually save t...	rgren2	3	1020	02:23 PM May 27, 2018 by 67HR
	Quick thinking (Preview) To surprise her husband, an executives wife stopped by his office.When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.Without hesitating, he dictatedAnd in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cutsI cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.O...	Woody n Sue	2	1098	10:42 PM May 26, 2018 by Kaid
	Where is God? (Preview) A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be confident that if any mischief occurred in their town, their two young sons were involved in some capacity. The parents were at their wit's end as to w...	fwdoz	1	908	07:12 AM May 26, 2018 by Blues Man
	At the wedding (Preview) At a wedding party recently someone yelled "All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living". The bartender was nearly crushed to death.	fwdoz	0	792	06:22 PM May 25, 2018 by fwdoz
	Easy $800 (Preview) A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, Ill give you $800 to drop that towel. A...	Possum3	1	947	07:08 AM May 25, 2018 by Blues Man
	Met the wife. (Preview) A traveller pulls into a hotel around midnight and asks the clerk for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, the man looks around and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting in the lobby. He tells the clerk to wait, and then disappears into the lobby. After a minute he comes back, with the girl on his a...	Possum3	2	1112	05:44 PM May 23, 2018 by fwdoz
	Lost in the mountains (Preview) A journalist goes to a poor remote village for a documentary.He saw an old man and asked him to narrate a typical happy story of his village.The old man smiled and began: "One day, a long time ago, my goat got lost in the mountains. As is our tradition, all the men of the village gathered to drink vodka firs...	rgren2	2	998	09:24 PM May 21, 2018 by Yaketty
	That's why. (Preview) A herd of Buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest Buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This is natural selection and good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular...	Possum3	3	931	07:49 PM May 21, 2018 by JA2340
	Can't win. (Preview) It had been snowing all night. So:8:00 am I made a snowman.8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.8:15 So, I made a snow woman.8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuouschest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.8:20 The gay couple l...	rgren2	7	1173	07:48 PM May 21, 2018 by JA2340
	Blonde. (Preview) A blonde was sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening she went home and memorised all the state capitals to prove she was smart. Back in the office the next day, a male co-worker started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement. Ive had it up to here with these...	Possum3	3	1053	09:18 AM May 21, 2018 by Blues Man
	Obsessive? (Preview) A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. You all have obsessions, he observed. To the first mother, he said, You are obsessed with eating.Youve even named your daughter Candy. He turned to the second mom. Your obsession is money. Youv...	Possum3	1	1211	09:16 AM May 21, 2018 by Blues Man
	Golf (Preview) Two men are playing golf and a funeral procession appears on the road next to the course. One of the golfers was about to take a swing, when he noticed the procession. He took off his hat and placed his hand over his heart and bowed his head until the funeral had passed. His opponent was taken aback and said...	Possum3	0	1017	09:29 AM May 20, 2018 by Possum3
	Sick - Dad jokes (Preview) Copy & paste from MSN.1. Where does the General keep his armies? In his sleevies. 2. How does a squid go into battle? Well-armed. 3. Whats the best thing about Switzerland? I dont know, but their flag is a huge plus. 4. Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it. 5. Why arent koal...	Possum3	0	1130	12:33 PM May 19, 2018 by Possum3
	How many did you get right (Preview)	Woody n Sue	4	1076	10:33 PM May 18, 2018 by Woody n Sue
	Tight one (Preview) An old Jewish man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?" "Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she d...	Paintar	2	1143	10:31 PM May 18, 2018 by Woody n Sue
	A priest is missing an ummmm Roster (Preview)	Woody n Sue	2	1080	08:42 PM May 18, 2018 by JA2340
	Area 51 (Preview) You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their 'secret' base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pi...	fwdoz	1	1038	07:55 PM May 18, 2018 by 67HR
	Where is the Post Office? (Preview) A delightful angelic little boy was waiting for his mother outside the ladies room of the gas station.As he stood there, he was approached by a man who asked "Sonny, can you tell me where the Post Office is?"The little boy replied "Sure! Just go straight down this street two blocks and turn to your right...	fwdoz	0	975	07:34 PM May 18, 2018 by fwdoz
	Golf Deal (Preview) A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. "Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt" the golfer mumbles to himself.Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers "Would you be willing to give up a quarter of your sex life to sink the putt?"Thinking the ma...	fwdoz	0	977	07:32 PM May 18, 2018 by fwdoz
	Painting Thief (Preview) A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such a...	fwdoz	0	947	07:15 PM May 18, 2018 by fwdoz
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