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Home Security System
(Preview)
Go to Salvo's and buy a used pair of 12 -14 Boots, Place them on the front patio, along with a few copies of "Guns and Ammo" magazine. Also place out four very large dog feeding bowls. Leave a note on the door that reads, "Bubba, Me and Marcel, Along with Jimmy Ray and Earl, went for more Ammo and Beer. Be ba...
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Possum3
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2
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1022
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Breakfast delight.
(Preview)
She was standing in the kitchen preparing for their usual boiled egg and toast for breakfast wearing only a tee-shirt that she usually slept in. As he walked in almost awake, she turned to him and said softly, "You have to make love to me at this very moment". His eyes lit up as he wondered "I am still dream...
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Possum3
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2
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1036
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Arrest me
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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1
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1001
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The Sheer Nightgown...
(Preview)
The Sheer Nightgown A husband walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the sheerer, the higher the price.Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500, and takes it home.He presents it...
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aussie_paul
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1
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930
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Cenosilicaphobia
(Preview)
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JA2340
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0
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850
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Doing for Easter...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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2
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1198
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Scales.
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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1203
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She had The winning raffle ticket
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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811
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Good Idea
(Preview)
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RustyD
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18
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1528
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Old geezers..
(Preview)
An old physician, Doctor Gordon Geezer, became very bored in retirement and decided to re-open a medical clinic He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured, get back $1,000."Doctor Digger Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn't kno...
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aussie_paul
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3
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1246
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Voted Best Scottish Short Joke
(Preview)
Voted Best Scottish Short Joke A bloke walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim librarian, 'Excuse me Miss, dee ye hev any books on suicide?' To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses and says, 'Fook off, ye'll no bring it back! Aussie Paul.
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aussie_paul
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0
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871
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Mystery of the Universe
(Preview)
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, What would you want to talk abou...
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Possum3
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0
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1168
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7 degrees of blond
(Preview)
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Craig1
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0
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1119
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Nice Work
(Preview)
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Craig1
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0
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1035
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Mickey Mouse
(Preview)
Mr Trump is walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo, when a possible assassin steps forward and aims a gun. A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts Mickey Mouse! This startles the would be assassin and he is captured. Later, the secret service agents supervisor takes him...
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Possum3
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1
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1017
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Special Timbers.
(Preview)
An old blind guy goes for a job at a lumberyard. During the interview, the owner says, You're blind, how can you possibly tell one piece of wood from another? The blind guy responds that he can tell you everything you need to know about wood by its smell. So the owner decides to test him and sends a worker o...
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Possum3
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0
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905
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Lion Hunting.
(Preview)
Two friends had gone hunting. Ahead they saw a lion. The first man shot and missed but the lion had not realized where the men were. The second guy shot too. He missed too. This time the lion realized the place of the men and moved towards them. One of the men immediately took off his boots and put on spor...
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Possum3
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2
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1134
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Raw Prawn
(Preview)
I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn ****tail. I looked round and this bloke shouts "That's just for starters!"
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fwdoz
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1
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886
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Grandpa.
(Preview)
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole. The grandfather replies, I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little h...
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Possum3
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1
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1028
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God vs Satan
(Preview)
In the beginning, God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, combined with an abundance of green, yellow and red vegetables. He did this so that Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.Then, using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Whip and Ice Cream. And Satan sa...
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fwdoz
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4
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1131
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