Just Joking

fwdoz · fwdoz

-A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200. -What's the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus. -There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down her sneered at me and I thought, well that's...

fwdoz · fwdoz

A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says that there's nothing special... we just flat out tell' em they're gonna die...

Tony Bev · Tony Bev

Donald Trump is walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo when a possible assassin steps forward and aims a gun. A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts Mickey Mouse! This startles the would be assassin and he is captured. Later, the secret service agents supervisor takes him...

oldbloke · oldbloke

A bloke walks into a bar and orders 5 top shelf single malt whiskeys. The bartender lines them up and the bloke tosses them all back, bam!, one after the other in super quick time before the bartender has even put down the bottle. And the bartender is amazed and says to him "wow, I've never seen anyone ever...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks How do you guys relieve your s*xual tension?Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and well show you.The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says Since youre our guest you get to go first.The doctor not...

kiwijims · kiwijims

K.J.

fwdoz · fwdoz

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a retiring doctor. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to the new doctor.At the first house a woman complains "I've been a little sick to my stomach ". The older doctor say...

Paintar · Paintar

A LOVE STORY I will seek and find you. I shall take you to bed, and have my way with you. I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan. I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop. I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you. And, when I am finish...

Possum3 · Possum3

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, But she belonged to someone else One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, Ill give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you. But the girl said NO.... Johnny said, Ill be fast. Ill throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and Ill be...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, Hey lady, you are really ugly.Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home, she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, Hey lady, you are really ugl...

fwdoz · fwdoz

Yesterday my daughter emailed me again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time."Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?" I asked.Her talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favourite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me" sh...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Jim, you are such a conservative guy and you wear this strange earring. I always wanted to ask you how long you have been wearing it. I know you are married so you are not gay but the earring looks pretty feminine. So can you tell me whats with this earring? Dont worry, Peter. I am not gay, and yes this is a fem...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A man walks into the bedroom with his naked wife in the bed. His wife notices he is holding a parrot. Honey, why are you holding a parrot? Let it go and come to me. This is an elephant I want to have s.x with. This is not an elephant. This is a parrot. I was talking to the parrot.!!!!!!!!!!! Aussie Paul.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

At the urging of his doctor, Jackie moved to Montana.After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.Jackie asks to the older man; Is this really a healthy place?It sure is, the man replied.When I first arrived here I couldnt say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didnt have the str...

boab · boab

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhf1pIl007o

Possum3 · Possum3

A man in intensive care unit awaits his death. His wife is waiting beside him and she is crying continuously. The man says to his wife with a low voice: When I was in a traffic accident, you were beside me, when I was shot with a gun, when I opened my eyes; first, I saw you, and the day I went bankrupt again, you...

Possum3 · Possum3

There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St. Lukes Nursing home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies. One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well. The phot...

Possum3 · Possum3

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, Maam, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag. Oh, really? Darn it! s...

Possum3 · Possum3

Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why...

madaboutled · madaboutled

A young guy starts his first job a general store in a country town. His new boss tells him about up-selling, then a customer walks in and the boss says "Watch me, I'll demonstrate" Customer: I'd like a bag of lawn seed please Boss: Certainly Sir, 1 packet of Lawn Seed and a bag of fertilizer Customer: Why...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Short Jokes (Preview) -A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200. -What's the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus. -There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down her sneered at me and I thought, well that's...	fwdoz	1	1553	05:50 PM Mar 30, 2018 by JA2340
	Chicken (Preview) A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says that there's nothing special... we just flat out tell' em they're gonna die...	fwdoz	0	924	09:45 AM Mar 30, 2018 by fwdoz
	Donald Joke (Preview) Donald Trump is walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo when a possible assassin steps forward and aims a gun. A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts Mickey Mouse! This startles the would be assassin and he is captured. Later, the secret service agents supervisor takes him...	Tony Bev	0	871	01:00 AM Mar 30, 2018 by Tony Bev
	Bar (Preview) A bloke walks into a bar and orders 5 top shelf single malt whiskeys. The bartender lines them up and the bloke tosses them all back, bam!, one after the other in super quick time before the bartender has even put down the bottle. And the bartender is amazed and says to him "wow, I've never seen anyone ever...	oldbloke	0	1062	11:01 PM Mar 28, 2018 by oldbloke
	sexual tension... (Preview) A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks How do you guys relieve your s*xual tension?Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and well show you.The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says Since youre our guest you get to go first.The doctor not...	aussie_paul	1	1223	10:59 AM Mar 28, 2018 by RustyD
	Cricket gone wrong..... (Preview) K.J.	kiwijims	1	1038	06:43 PM Mar 27, 2018 by Dickodownunder
	New Doctor (Preview) A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a retiring doctor. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to the new doctor.At the first house a woman complains "I've been a little sick to my stomach ". The older doctor say...	fwdoz	3	1124	02:28 PM Mar 27, 2018 by JA2340
	Love Story (Preview) A LOVE STORY I will seek and find you. I shall take you to bed, and have my way with you. I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan. I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop. I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you. And, when I am finish...	Paintar	1	1087	01:22 PM Mar 26, 2018 by grahos
	Management Lesson. (Preview) Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, But she belonged to someone else One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, Ill give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you. But the girl said NO.... Johnny said, Ill be fast. Ill throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and Ill be...	Possum3	1	1191	01:16 PM Mar 25, 2018 by fwdoz
	Lady & the parrot... (Preview) A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, Hey lady, you are really ugly.Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home, she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, Hey lady, you are really ugl...	aussie_paul	0	1095	10:50 PM Mar 24, 2018 by aussie_paul
	Senior Citizen (Preview) Yesterday my daughter emailed me again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time."Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?" I asked.Her talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favourite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me" sh...	fwdoz	2	1219	06:52 PM Mar 23, 2018 by fwdoz
	Ha ha... (Preview) Jim, you are such a conservative guy and you wear this strange earring. I always wanted to ask you how long you have been wearing it. I know you are married so you are not gay but the earring looks pretty feminine. So can you tell me whats with this earring? Dont worry, Peter. I am not gay, and yes this is a fem...	aussie_paul	1	1025	12:13 PM Mar 23, 2018 by RustyD
	A man walks into the bedroom.... (Preview) A man walks into the bedroom with his naked wife in the bed. His wife notices he is holding a parrot. Honey, why are you holding a parrot? Let it go and come to me. This is an elephant I want to have s.x with. This is not an elephant. This is a parrot. I was talking to the parrot.!!!!!!!!!!! Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	1	1122	08:06 AM Mar 23, 2018 by Woody n Sue
	Doctors advice... (Preview) At the urging of his doctor, Jackie moved to Montana.After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.Jackie asks to the older man; Is this really a healthy place?It sure is, the man replied.When I first arrived here I couldnt say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didnt have the str...	aussie_paul	0	1028	06:12 PM Mar 21, 2018 by aussie_paul
	dont know if this will work but it gave me a giggle (Preview) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhf1pIl007o	boab	1	1126	04:25 PM Mar 21, 2018 by Possum3
	Loving Wife. (Preview) *A man in intensive care unit awaits his death.* *His wife is waiting beside him and she is crying continuously.* *The man says to his wife with a low voice:* *When I was in a traffic accident, you were beside me, when I was shot with a gun, when I opened my eyes; first, I saw you, and the day I went bankrupt again, you...*	Possum3	0	1071	01:11 PM Mar 21, 2018 by Possum3
	More Grandma's (Preview) There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St. Lukes Nursing home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies. One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well. The phot...	Possum3	0	992	11:56 PM Mar 20, 2018 by Possum3
	Another Grandma (Preview) A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, Maam, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag. Oh, really? Darn it! s...	Possum3	1	992	09:35 PM Mar 20, 2018 by wal1
	Georgia Grandma (Preview) Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why...	Possum3	1	836	04:15 PM Mar 20, 2018 by fwdoz
	Up Selling (Preview) A young guy starts his first job a general store in a country town. His new boss tells him about up-selling, then a customer walks in and the boss says "Watch me, I'll demonstrate" Customer: I'd like a bag of lawn seed please Boss: Certainly Sir, 1 packet of Lawn Seed and a bag of fertilizer Customer: Why...	madaboutled	0	882	12:40 AM Mar 20, 2018 by madaboutled
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