Just Joking

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

-- Edited by Aus-Kiwi on Tuesday 2nd of January 2018 09:55:37 PM

Phillipn · Phillipn

Possum3 · Possum3

Sven and Ollie live in the same apartment building in identical flats. Sven visits Ollie and sees that he just painted his flat and it looks great. He says, Ollie, this looks amazing. How many cans of paint did you buy? Ollie says he bought seven. .. The next day Sven drives to the store, buys seven cans of...

Des and Jane · Des and Jane

I was at the ATM this morning waiting to get some Bitcoin out (yes there are Bitcoin ATM's in Australia and you can withdraw cash), anyway this little old lady was in front of me, she was taking absolutely ages so I asked her if she needed any help...... oh yes please she said, could you please check my bal...

Possum3 · Possum3

A drunk walking home decided to take a short cut through the cemetery, Walking along in the dark he stumbled over a mound of dirt and fell into an open grave that was dug for an early funeral the next day. The man tried to climb out, but he was short and the gravediggers had dug the correct six foot depth. The...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Possum3 · Possum3

rockylizard · rockylizard

Did anyone get a Stand-up Malcolm doll for Christmas? Tried to get it to stand up straight but it just waffles a few lines, leans to the left and falls over. Probably wont be available next year. What about the Backflip Bill doll? Just mention a policy, clap your hands and it does a perfect backflip, o...

RustyD · RustyD

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

rgren2 · rgren2

An opinion on Bitcoin that resonates alarm bells. Get out before all the Monkeys have gone.*BITCOIN*A lot of monkeys lived near a village.One day a merchant came to the village to buy these monkeys!He announced that he will buy the monkeys @ $100 each. The villagers thought that this man is mad.They...

RustyD · RustyD

SENIORS' COFFEE GROUPA group of seniors was sitting around talking about all their ailments at Weatherspoon's. "My arms have got so weak that I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one. "Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad; can't even see my coffee." "What? Speak up! What? I ca...

RustyD · RustyD

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

80 Year old Woman on Birth Control Pills:A doctor who had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next check-up, the new young doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. Looking through these, his eyes grew as he realized Gr...

Possum3 · Possum3

A husband and wife are drinking wine when, out of the blue, the wife sighs. ?I love you,? she says quietly. The husband narrows his eyes. ?Is that you or the wine talking?? ?It?s me,? says the wife, ?talking to the wine.?

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Dear Sir,I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile. My reasons are numerous, and having been married for 7 years and having 7 children, I have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are useless. When first married, we were told to use the rhythm method. Despite trying to dance the qui...

Possum3 · Possum3

A donkey is carrying a huge load across a farm when a pig, Happily laying on his back in the soft mud says to the donkey; "Look at yourself. Old, Skinny, always working for the farmer. And look at me laying around doing nothing, just enjoying myself living life and the farmer feeds me every day". The donke...

Possum3 · Possum3

And, if you think Bankers don't have heart, read the best Banker story of all time... bar none. The City's largest Charitable Organization realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful Banker. So a volunteer paid the Banker a visit in his lavish office. The volun...

Possum3 · Possum3

During a trial, the clerk addressed the prisoner in the dock Do you wish to challenge the jury? The prisoner looked at the people assembled. Well, not all of them at once, he said, but I reckon I could go a few rounds with the little chubby guy in the middle for starters.

Possum3 · Possum3

A woman noticed her husband trying to weigh himself on the bathroom scale. Each time he stepped on, he started sucking in his stomach. Thats not going to help, darling, said the wife. Trust me. Its already working, the husband said smugly. Now I can see the numbers.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The view ? Lol Reminds me of someone on here ? (Preview) -- Edited by Aus-Kiwi on Tuesday 2nd of January 2018 09:55:37 PM	Aus-Kiwi	2	1225	10:31 PM Jan 4, 2018 by RustyD
	I Dare You (Preview)	Phillipn	1	972	07:17 PM Jan 4, 2018 by grahos
	HOW MUCH PAINT. (Preview) Sven and Ollie live in the same apartment building in identical flats. Sven visits Ollie and sees that he just painted his flat and it looks great. He says, Ollie, this looks amazing. How many cans of paint did you buy? Ollie says he bought seven. .. The next day Sven drives to the store, buys seven cans of...	Possum3	0	950	05:30 PM Jan 4, 2018 by Possum3
	The ATM balance (Preview) I was at the ATM this morning waiting to get some Bitcoin out (yes there are Bitcoin ATM's in Australia and you can withdraw cash), anyway this little old lady was in front of me, she was taking absolutely ages so I asked her if she needed any help...... oh yes please she said, could you please check my bal...	Des and Jane	2	1064	05:37 PM Jan 2, 2018 by Des and Jane
	Graveyard (Preview) A drunk walking home decided to take a short cut through the cemetery, Walking along in the dark he stumbled over a mound of dirt and fell into an open grave that was dug for an early funeral the next day. The man tried to climb out, but he was short and the gravediggers had dug the correct six foot depth. The...	Possum3	0	909	06:04 PM Jan 1, 2018 by Possum3
	Wrong plane (Preview)	Woody n Sue	2	971	04:47 PM Jan 1, 2018 by Brownie2
	What the ? (Preview)	Possum3	0	880	11:23 AM Dec 31, 2017 by Possum3
	Wot'd ya git fer Xmas? (Preview) Did anyone get a Stand-up Malcolm doll for Christmas? Tried to get it to stand up straight but it just waffles a few lines, leans to the left and falls over. Probably wont be available next year. What about the Backflip Bill doll? Just mention a policy, clap your hands and it does a perfect backflip, o...	rockylizard	0	894	10:25 PM Dec 29, 2017 by rockylizard
	Were you good? (Preview)	RustyD	0	744	11:58 AM Dec 28, 2017 by RustyD
	Yep so true . The journey .. Enjoy it ., (Preview)	Aus-Kiwi	1	930	11:15 AM Dec 28, 2017 by Tony Bev
	Understanding Bitcoin (Preview) An opinion on Bitcoin that resonates alarm bells. Get out before all the Monkeys have gone.BITCOINA lot of monkeys lived near a village.One day a merchant came to the village to buy these monkeys!He announced that he will buy the monkeys @ $100 each. The villagers thought that this man is mad.They...	rgren2	3	1038	07:33 PM Dec 27, 2017 by Dickodownunder
	Seniors Coffee (Preview) SENIORS' COFFEE GROUPA group of seniors was sitting around talking about all their ailments at Weatherspoon's. "My arms have got so weak that I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one. "Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad; can't even see my coffee." "What? Speak up! What? I ca...	RustyD	1	1058	05:53 PM Dec 26, 2017 by grahos
	Dog vs Cat (Preview)	RustyD	2	1140	06:59 AM Dec 25, 2017 by Blues Man
	A few oldies... (Preview) 80 Year old Woman on Birth Control Pills:A doctor who had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next check-up, the new young doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. Looking through these, his eyes grew as he realized Gr...	aussie_paul	1	1026	06:57 AM Dec 25, 2017 by Blues Man
	True Love (Preview) A husband and wife are drinking wine when, out of the blue, the wife sighs. ?I love you,? she says quietly. The husband narrows his eyes. ?Is that you or the wine talking?? ?It?s me,? says the wife, ?talking to the wine.?	Possum3	1	988	05:55 AM Dec 23, 2017 by Blues Man
	Irishman's letter to a doctor - Adults Only (Preview) Dear Sir,I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile. My reasons are numerous, and having been married for 7 years and having 7 children, I have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are useless. When first married, we were told to use the rhythm method. Despite trying to dance the qui...	aussie_paul	2	1249	05:43 PM Dec 22, 2017 by Possum3
	Smart Ass. (Preview) A donkey is carrying a huge load across a farm when a pig, Happily laying on his back in the soft mud says to the donkey; "Look at yourself. Old, Skinny, always working for the farmer. And look at me laying around doing nothing, just enjoying myself living life and the farmer feeds me every day". The donke...	Possum3	3	1406	11:06 PM Dec 21, 2017 by wal1
	The Banker (Preview) And, if you think Bankers don't have heart, read the best Banker story of all time... bar none. The City's largest Charitable Organization realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful Banker. So a volunteer paid the Banker a visit in his lavish office. The volun...	Possum3	2	1019	07:34 PM Dec 21, 2017 by Aus-Kiwi
	The Jury (Preview) During a trial, the clerk addressed the prisoner in the dock Do you wish to challenge the jury? The prisoner looked at the people assembled. Well, not all of them at once, he said, but I reckon I could go a few rounds with the little chubby guy in the middle for starters.	Possum3	2	1445	08:16 PM Dec 20, 2017 by grahos
	How heavy? (Preview) A woman noticed her husband trying to weigh himself on the bathroom scale. Each time he stepped on, he started sucking in his stomach. Thats not going to help, darling, said the wife. Trust me. Its already working, the husband said smugly. Now I can see the numbers.	Possum3	1	1080	08:13 PM Dec 20, 2017 by grahos
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