Just Joking

RustyD · RustyD

How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it. Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. I tried to catch some...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

I experienced the WORST customer service last night at a shop near me, I don't want to mention the name of the store because I'm not in the habit of publicly trashing people or business' (Even if they DO deserve it).Thursday afternoon I bought something from this store. I paid cash for it. I took it home...

Possum3 · Possum3

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and...

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

Possum3 · Possum3

Yesterday I saw a car with a bumper sticker saying, Im a vet, therefore I can drive like an animal. It was at that moment that I suddenly realised just how many gynaecologists there are on the roads.

RustyD · RustyD

A couple's only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon Quickie with their 8-year old son in the flat, was to send him out on the balcony with a Mars Bar and tell him to report on all the street activities. Their 8-year old began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation; Theres a car being towe...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A few laughs to start your day!! Murphy says to Paddy,"What ya talkin' into an envelope for?""I'm sending a voicemail ya fool!"19 Paddies go to the cinema, the ticketlady asks "Why so many of you?"Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over."I went to the cemetery yesterday to laysome flowers on a grave...

Possum3 · Possum3

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.' His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.' A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'... After about five minu...

Possum3 · Possum3

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."... The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." The blondes were still arguing when the train h...

rockylizard · rockylizard

Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each. Sign up early and get a discount on registration. 1. HOW TO FILL ICE-CUBE TRAYS. Step by step with slide presentation. 2. TOILET PAPER: DOES IT GROW ON THE HOLDERS? Roundtable discussion. 3. D...

oldbloke · oldbloke

Lol, in my dreams

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Robert , 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Robert should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night togetherAfter the weddin...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says. 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.' Passenger: 'Who?' Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things...

Paintar · Paintar

I see a guy was held up by someone with a starting pistol. Police believe it could be race related.

Paintar · Paintar

Three old men were sitting around and talking. The 80-year-old said, "The best thing that could happen to me would just to be able to have a good pee. ... I stand there for 20 minutes, and it dribbles and hurts. I have to go over and over again." The 85-year-old said, "The best thing that could happen to me i...

Possum3 · Possum3

One day a student was taking a very difficult essay exam. At the end of the test, the prof asked all the students to put their pencils down and immediately hand in their tests. The young man kept writing furioulsy, although he was warned that if he did not stop immediately he would be disqualified. He ign...

Possum3 · Possum3

There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldnt swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, Do you need help, sir? The preacher calmly said No, God will save me. A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, Hey, do you need help? The preacher replied again, No God will save me. Eve...

Paintar · Paintar

Bob called home one afternoon to see what his wife was making for dinner. "Hello?" said the maid. "Hi, it's me," said Bob. "Is madam near the phone?"... "No, Sir. She's upstairs in the bedroom with your friend Frank." After a brief pause, Bob said, "But I don't have a friend named Frank!" "Yes you do. He'...

Possum3 · Possum3

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. 2 What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey I bought the worlds worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, its terrible. Rndomguytf 4 This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder. WikiWantsYourPics 5 My friend asked me...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight jacket and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked,Are you a real pilot? He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Ste...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	LEXOPHILIA - WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP? (Preview) How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it. Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. I tried to catch some...	RustyD	0	1116	09:30 PM Jan 16, 2018 by RustyD
	Sorry, but I need to vent !!!! (Preview) I experienced the WORST customer service last night at a shop near me, I don't want to mention the name of the store because I'm not in the habit of publicly trashing people or business' (Even if they DO deserve it).Thursday afternoon I bought something from this store. I paid cash for it. I took it home...	aussie_paul	7	1227	05:49 PM Jan 16, 2018 by KevinC
	Heaven Vs Hell (Preview) An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and...	Possum3	1	893	02:51 PM Jan 16, 2018 by dazz49
	Found the problem . (Preview)	Aus-Kiwi	0	1102	11:18 PM Jan 14, 2018 by Aus-Kiwi
	Bumper Sticker. (Preview) Yesterday I saw a car with a bumper sticker saying, Im a vet, therefore I can drive like an animal. It was at that moment that I suddenly realised just how many gynaecologists there are on the roads.	Possum3	0	886	07:14 PM Jan 14, 2018 by Possum3
	Kids (Preview) A couple's only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon Quickie with their 8-year old son in the flat, was to send him out on the balcony with a Mars Bar and tell him to report on all the street activities. Their 8-year old began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation; Theres a car being towe...	RustyD	0	882	06:40 PM Jan 14, 2018 by RustyD
	Thought these were great. (Preview) A few laughs to start your day!! Murphy says to Paddy,"What ya talkin' into an envelope for?""I'm sending a voicemail ya fool!"19 Paddies go to the cinema, the ticketlady asks "Why so many of you?"Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over."I went to the cemetery yesterday to laysome flowers on a grave...	aussie_paul	1	916	03:21 PM Jan 14, 2018 by Possum3
	Fart football (Preview) An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.' His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.' A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'... After about five minu...	Possum3	0	891	11:06 AM Jan 14, 2018 by Possum3
	BLONDE JOKE FOR TODAY... (Preview) Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."... The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." The blondes were still arguing when the train h...	Possum3	0	865	10:29 AM Jan 14, 2018 by Possum3
	Husband Training Course (Preview) Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each. Sign up early and get a discount on registration. 1. HOW TO FILL ICE-CUBE TRAYS. Step by step with slide presentation. 2. TOILET PAPER: DOES IT GROW ON THE HOLDERS? Roundtable discussion. 3. D...	rockylizard	1	910	09:54 AM Jan 14, 2018 by dorian
	Wife Training (Preview) Lol, in my dreams	oldbloke	4	1808	09:36 PM Jan 13, 2018 by wal1
	Old Robert... (Preview) Robert , 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Robert should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night togetherAfter the weddin...	aussie_paul	1	943	12:32 PM Jan 13, 2018 by Blues Man
	Just like Frank... (Preview) A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says. 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.' Passenger: 'Who?' Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things...	aussie_paul	2	1046	08:14 AM Jan 11, 2018 by Blues Man
	Hold Up (Preview) I see a guy was held up by someone with a starting pistol. Police believe it could be race related.	Paintar	1	1187	08:10 AM Jan 11, 2018 by Blues Man
	The Next Best Thing (Preview) Three old men were sitting around and talking. The 80-year-old said, "The best thing that could happen to me would just to be able to have a good pee. ... I stand there for 20 minutes, and it dribbles and hurts. I have to go over and over again." The 85-year-old said, "The best thing that could happen to me i...	Paintar	0	1155	08:23 AM Jan 9, 2018 by Paintar
	Who. (Preview) One day a student was taking a very difficult essay exam. At the end of the test, the prof asked all the students to put their pencils down and immediately hand in their tests. The young man kept writing furioulsy, although he was warned that if he did not stop immediately he would be disqualified. He ign...	Possum3	0	1051	07:37 PM Jan 8, 2018 by Possum3
	The Preacher (Preview) There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldnt swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, Do you need help, sir? The preacher calmly said No, God will save me. A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, Hey, do you need help? The preacher replied again, No God will save me. Eve...	Possum3	0	893	07:35 PM Jan 8, 2018 by Possum3
	What for dinner (Preview) Bob called home one afternoon to see what his wife was making for dinner. "Hello?" said the maid. "Hi, it's me," said Bob. "Is madam near the phone?"... "No, Sir. She's upstairs in the bedroom with your friend Frank." After a brief pause, Bob said, "But I don't have a friend named Frank!" "Yes you do. He'...	Paintar	0	1021	06:32 PM Jan 7, 2018 by Paintar
	50 from Faceboook (Preview) Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. 2 What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey I bought the worlds worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, its terrible. Rndomguytf 4 This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder. WikiWantsYourPics 5 My friend asked me...	Possum3	2	1175	04:07 PM Jan 7, 2018 by Possum3
	"Are you a real pilot?" (Preview) An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight jacket and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked,Are you a real pilot? He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Ste...	aussie_paul	1	1079	10:12 AM Jan 7, 2018 by Blues Man
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