|
Theatre Seats for Seniors
(Preview)
Theatre Seats for Seniors An old man lay awkwardly sprawled across three entire seats in themovie theatre.When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man,"Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."The old man didn't budge. The usher became more impatient: "Sir, if you don't...
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
1084
|
|
|
|
|
Cold....
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
1640
|
|
|
|
|
Hide and seek.
(Preview)
1. Buy four little piglets. 2. Paint 1,2,3,5 on their backs. 3. Release the piglets in a Bunnings store. 5. Laugh at the people all looking for number 4.
|
Possum3
|
2
|
1413
|
|
|
|
|
Deserved it.
(Preview)
Child-Bride: I've got splinters in my hand from that old broom. Me: Well you're silly - why didn't you take the car? Doc reckons I'll be able to see out of my right eye soon.
|
Possum3
|
0
|
897
|
|
|
|
|
A Sunday tale.
(Preview)
A priest settled in to his hotel room after a long day on the road. Before heading downstairs for a quick bite to eat, he opened the bible that belonged in the hotel room and had a quick read to soothe his mind. Downstairs in the bar, he struck up a conversation with the barmaid. They spoke for hours before h...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1575
|
|
|
|
|
Go on .... smile ... it ain't THAT bad :)
(Preview)
|
rockylizard
|
5
|
1388
|
|
|
|
|
I Promise.
(Preview)
It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking over the cradle when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures. Immediately he turned and went outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little...
|
Possum3
|
2
|
1019
|
|
|
|
|
Late again!
(Preview)
"Late again!" the third-grade teacher sternly said to little Ranger. "It ain't my fault this time, Miss Russell. You can blame this 'un on my Daddy. The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!" Now, Miss Russell had taught grammar school for 30-some-odd years. Despite her mounting fear...
|
Yendorane
|
1
|
1111
|
|
|
|
|
Speeding
(Preview)
Cop; "You were driving too fast". Me; "I was just trying to keep up with traffic". Cop;"There are no other cars on the road" Me; "I know! That's how far behind I am"
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1029
|
|
|
|
|
Johnny
(Preview)
One day, Johnny sees his father getting out of the shower. Whats that hanging between your legs? he asks. Thats my nerve, says his father. Yours will be this big one of these days. The next day in school, Johnny asks to use the toilet. In a minute, the teacher tells him. Nancy has just gone to the bathroom s...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1275
|
|
|
|
|
Santa Gaoled.
(Preview)
Santa is up before the Judge, Charged with three counts of sex discrimination. Apparently a young lady walked past him in the Mall, And he called out. .................... ........................ ............................ HO, HO, HO
|
Possum3
|
0
|
909
|
|
|
|
|
Perspective.
(Preview)
Pat and Seamus were pouring concrete outside the local brothel when they saw a vicar approaching. The vicar looked around cautiously before entering the building. Look at that! said Seamus. That Protestant minister is an absolute hypocrite! A few hours later, they noticed a rabbi approaching the...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1121
|
|
|
|
|
NAH .... wouldn't happen......
(Preview)
|
rockylizard
|
1
|
1225
|
|
|
|
|
Golfer with real balls
(Preview)
The man said to the dentist, Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry.I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb.I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it!We have a 10:00 am tee time at the best golf course i...
|
Paintar
|
1
|
1086
|
|
|
|
|
Wise Monk
(Preview)
A woman discovers her husband is cheating on her.Devastated, she doesn't know how to continue to live her life. She hears that there's a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decides to go there to consult him.After few days of travelling, walking, climbing, she reaches the top and meets the wi...
|
rgren2
|
2
|
1232
|
|
|
|
|
A couple were 85-years-old and had been married for 60 years...
(Preview)
A couple were 85-years-old and had been married for 60 years.Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise over the past decade.One day...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
1055
|
|
|
|
|
Baby's First Doctor Visit
(Preview)
I hope it will give you a smile! A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. 'Breast-fed,'...
|
Paintar
|
1
|
968
|
|
|
|
|
Paper is Dead
(Preview)
Paper Is Dead.... Really? CLICK Paper is not dead - ????? ?? ?? YouTube It's only a 39- second video, so please watch it all. The irony at the end won't be lost on you.
|
Possum3
|
3
|
1144
|
|
|
|
|
It would be one hell of a ride.
(Preview)
|
JayDee
|
3
|
1207
|
|
|
|
|
The alphabet wife
(Preview)
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while, then said, "You're an alphabet wife..... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K." She asks ... "What the heck does that mean?" He said,"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, an...
|
RustyD
|
1
|
1170
|
|
|
