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Computer diagnosis
(Preview)
One day, Pete complained to his friend, My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor. His friend said, Dont do that. Theres a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem a...
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Possum3
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1
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1103
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Sign in Bar
(Preview)
A man walks into a Bar and sees a sign; Cheese sandwich $1.50 Chicken sandwich $2.25 Hand Job $15.00 The man checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender "Äre you the one that gives the Hand Jobs?' "Why yes" she purred, "I am" "Well, wash your Feckin hands" says the Man. "I want a cheese sandwich".
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Possum3
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2
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1078
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The Subway
(Preview)
Two drunks are walking around Melbourne when one suddenly disappears down the subway. His mate walks around for a few hours and finally finds his mate coming up out of a subway. Where the hell have you been? asks the guy waiting on the street. Down in some guys cellar and you should see the train set he has...
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RustyD
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0
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1000
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Boring lunch
(Preview)
An Irishman, an Australian and a blond guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the twentieth floor of the building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch Im going to jump off this building. The Australi...
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Possum3
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0
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929
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Train set.
(Preview)
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, All you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop. And all you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your arses in...
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Possum3
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0
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963
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Air disaster
(Preview)
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, If Im going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. She removes all her clothing and asks, Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman? A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, Her...
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Possum3
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2
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1086
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Son of a B
(Preview)
A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine. His mother heard what he was saying and was shocked. What are you doing? she asked. The little boy answered, Im just doing my math homework, Mum. And this is ho...
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Possum3
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0
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1087
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Sorry can't hear you.
(Preview)
A grandfather with serious hearing problems for a number of years decided hed finally do something about it, and went to the doctor. After a hearing test he was told that when he got fitted with a hearing air it would return his hearing to 100 per cent. The doctor was right. The grandpa could hear as wel...
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Possum3
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0
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977
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Well that's diffferent then...
(Preview)
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: TWO PROSTITUTES $50.00. A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them theyd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: JESUS SAVES.... One of the girl...
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Possum3
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2
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952
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Faceless...not necessarily my personal views GN Ladies.....lmao....
(Preview)
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Goldfinger
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2
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1109
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Old timers.
(Preview)
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the man passes gas and says, seven points!. His wife rolls over and says, What in the world was that? The old man replied its fart football. A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, Touchdown! Tie score After about five minutes the old man lets a...
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Possum3
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0
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1010
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Harrods
(Preview)
A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person was not any...
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Possum3
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1
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1202
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My Father's Day present - a little rude
(Preview)
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RustyD
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0
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1059
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Up or down
(Preview)
At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish. Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day. The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to his fishing...
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Possum3
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1
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1228
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Divorce
(Preview)
A man in Sydney calls his son in Perth the day before Christmas and says,I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough. Pop, what are you talking about? the son screams. We cant stand the sight of each other any longer, the father sa...
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Possum3
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1
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1140
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Camping trip
(Preview)
Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect desert camping and riding trip. Two days before the group is to leave Rob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Rob's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Ro...
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Possum3
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1
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1147
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WARNING A little bit naughty.
(Preview)
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.' The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien bec...
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Magnarc
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2
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1023
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The "Five Second Rule"
(Preview)
The "Five Second Rule" You lose if... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . You don't spot the shark within five seconds.
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Mike Harding
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3
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2430
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I feel sure some of you can adapt this deep concept......
(Preview)
Toooo deep for me really, however I feel some of you can adapt this concept, and achieve your own inner peace......Hoo Roo
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Goldfinger
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1
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1230
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How to milk sheep
(Preview)
Bring out a new Phone and charge people over $1,000.00 for it.
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Possum3
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2
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1188
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