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Pre internet..
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aussie_paul
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928
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Two drunks
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Two drunks visit a brothel. The madam takes one look at them and says to her manager, "go put inflatable dolls in the two bedrooms, these guys are too drunk notice." During the walk home one guy says "I think my girl was dead, she never moved and never made a sound." The second guy says, "I think mine was a wi...
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Aussie1
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827
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Not a Brick
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Southern Cruizer
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1043
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Oops!
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fwdoz
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836
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An Obituary..
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An Obituary printed in the London Times.....Absolutely Dead Brilliant!!t Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remember...
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Margaret & Bert
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Margaret and Bert, a spunky older couple, had just moved to Texas, where everythingincluding dreams of becoming a cowboywas bigger. Bert had always fancied himself as a bit of a cowboy, so when he spotted a pair of authentic boots on sale, he couldnt resist. He strutted home, wearing them proudly, hi...
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Southern Cruizer
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705
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Lazy
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Southern Cruizer
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792
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The Homecoming
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Southern Cruizer
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0
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922
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Halloween
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rgren2
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0
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898
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Boo Bees
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Southern Cruizer
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0
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846
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Was
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Bicyclecamper
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989
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A Day At The Horse Races....
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A Day At The Horse Races....Two female teachers took a group of students from grades 1, 2 and 3 for a field trip to Flemington Racecourse. When it was time to take the children to the 'bathroom', it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.The teacher assign...
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aussie_paul
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892
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A rabbit..
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walks into a pub and says to the barman,'Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?'The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie.The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves.The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a...
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aussie_paul
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710
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Points to ponder..
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The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. Al McGuireThe difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert EinsteinWar is Gods way of teaching Americans geography. Ambrose BierceAt every party there are two kinds of people those who want to go home...
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aussie_paul
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723
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Book report
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Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books,'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton.One student turned in the following book report, With the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.Titanic:.... Cost - $29.99 Clinton :......
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rgren2
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Surfing Accident
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67HR
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925
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Old Maid & a Burglar
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A story I'll tell of a burglar boldWho started to rob a house;He opened the window, and then crept inAs quiet as a mouse.He looked around for a place to hide,'Till the folks were all asleep,Then said he, "With their moneyI'll take a quiet sneak."So under the bed the burglar crept;He crept up close to the...
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Southern Cruizer
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Material Safety Data Sheet
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rgren2
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1026
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Cold water..
(Preview)
For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, Larry was concerned about the plates as it appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, Are you sure these plates are clean?Without looking up the old man said, I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water ca...
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aussie_paul
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688
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Sweetheart?
(Preview)
By the time John pulled into the little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere." he pleaded to the last hotel manager, "Or just a bed--I don't really care where. I'm completely exhausted""Well, I do have a double room with one occupant," admitted the manager, "and I'm su...
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