Just Joking

Yarra · Yarra

It said, "this is not working. I'm going to my mothers." I opened the door. The light came on. The beer was cold. Just what in the hell did she mean?

kiwijims · kiwijims

Two female teachers took a group of students from grades 1, 2 and 3 for a field trip to Flemington Racecourse. When it was time to take the children to the 'bathroom', it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Yarra · Yarra

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bit..es who want to get off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all you sons of bit..es who are returning and want to...

Magnarc · Magnarc

This bloke walks into a petshop and asks the attendant for a pet that requires absolutely no looking after. After a few moments the attendant tells him that they have a talking Centipede that does'nt need any attention. The bloke looks at him and says, "You're joking surely?" "Nope, its a fair dinkum t...

PeterD · PeterD

OK it did not wark -- Edited by PeterD on Sunday 23rd of October 2016 05:31:48 PM

Moorey · Moorey

*Pharmacist to customer:* *"Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription... Simply showing marriage certificate and wife's picture is not enough."* *A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman - "Which book has helped you most in your life? Th...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

kiwijims · kiwijims

I called an old school friend and asked what was he doing. He replied that he is working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment". I was impressed...... On further enquiring I learnt that he was washing dishes with hot water .......Under his...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Yarra · Yarra

A 68 year old woman told her friend over a bingo game that she wanted to have a baby. Her friend, in reasonable disbelief, laughed at her.The 68 year old woman retorted, "Well, I have the apparatus to and with today's technology, I can have a baby."And she did just that. She got pregnant and had a baby boy....

Yarra · Yarra

While not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist.Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over Ireland were coming to the town of Miltown Malbay, in County Clare, to get him to paint their likenesses.One day, a beautiful young English woman arrived at his house in...

Yarra · Yarra

A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out. The guy sitting next to him can't believe what he just saw. He's more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him. The ast...

Yarra · Yarra

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses 500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue play standing until Michael O'Connor looks around and asks, "Ok, me lads, s...

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

Have we changed much ?

rgren2 · rgren2

How To Shower Like a Woman1. Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according tolights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 3. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 4. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to d...

Yarra · Yarra

At dawn the telephone rings.Hello, Senor Lucky? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house.Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor, that your parrot diedMy parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?Si, Senor, t...

Yarra · Yarra

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened."Well, it was like this," says the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, she sliced her ball into a cow pasture. We went to look for it, and while I was searching a...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

https://www.youtube.com/embed/prfCkIOdeAc?rel=0&controls=0&showinfo=0 Aussie Paul.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My girlfriend left a note on the fridge door (Preview) It said, "this is not working. I'm going to my mothers." I opened the door. The light came on. The beer was cold. Just what in the hell did she mean?	Yarra	0	1105	11:34 AM Oct 27, 2016 by Yarra
	A Day At The Horse Races.... (Preview) Two female teachers took a group of students from grades 1, 2 and 3 for a field trip to Flemington Racecourse. When it was time to take the children to the 'bathroom', it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting...	kiwijims	2	1024	11:24 PM Oct 26, 2016 by kiwijims
	There is a new roll on deodorant out (Preview)	Woody n Sue	0	957	07:08 AM Oct 25, 2016 by Woody n Sue
	Train Departure (Preview) A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bit..es who want to get off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all you sons of bit..es who are returning and want to...	Yarra	0	955	04:52 PM Oct 24, 2016 by Yarra
	The Centipede (Preview) This bloke walks into a petshop and asks the attendant for a pet that requires absolutely no looking after. After a few moments the attendant tells him that they have a talking Centipede that does'nt need any attention. The bloke looks at him and says, "You're joking surely?" "Nope, its a fair dinkum t...	Magnarc	0	935	09:25 AM Oct 24, 2016 by Magnarc
	Cordless Drill (Preview) OK it did not wark -- Edited by PeterD on Sunday 23rd of October 2016 05:31:48 PM	PeterD	4	1100	08:17 AM Oct 24, 2016 by Aus-Kiwi
	A couple of funnies (Preview) **Pharmacist to customer: "Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription... Simply showing marriage certificate and wife's picture is not enough."** *A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman - "Which book has helped you most in your life? Th...	Moorey	0	1035	10:12 PM Oct 22, 2016 by Moorey
	Two wongs (Preview)	Woody n Sue	0	904	07:27 PM Oct 19, 2016 by Woody n Sue
	EXPERT OCCUPATION !! (Preview) I called an old school friend and asked what was he doing. He replied that he is working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment". I was impressed...... On further enquiring I learnt that he was washing dishes with hot water .......Under his...	kiwijims	2	1389	03:46 PM Oct 18, 2016 by Tony Bev
	Things aren't always what they seem " reader discretion required " (Preview)	Woody n Sue	3	1434	12:49 PM Oct 18, 2016 by Baggie
	Should have got an A+ (Preview)	Woody n Sue	11	1616	12:45 PM Oct 18, 2016 by Baggie
	Old and Pregnant? (Preview) A 68 year old woman told her friend over a bingo game that she wanted to have a baby. Her friend, in reasonable disbelief, laughed at her.The 68 year old woman retorted, "Well, I have the apparatus to and with today's technology, I can have a baby."And she did just that. She got pregnant and had a baby boy....	Yarra	0	1230	10:09 AM Oct 11, 2016 by Yarra
	An Irish painter by the name of Murphy, (Preview) While not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist.Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over Ireland were coming to the town of Miltown Malbay, in County Clare, to get him to paint their likenesses.One day, a beautiful young English woman arrived at his house in...	Yarra	0	1076	10:05 AM Oct 11, 2016 by Yarra
	Gravity Defying Tequila (Preview) A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out. The guy sitting next to him can't believe what he just saw. He's more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him. The ast...	Yarra	0	938	05:39 PM Oct 10, 2016 by Yarra
	Dead Irishman (Preview) Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses 500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue play standing until Michael O'Connor looks around and asks, "Ok, me lads, s...	Yarra	0	1012	05:37 PM Oct 10, 2016 by Yarra
	About right . Though some think they are perfect (Preview) Have we changed much ?	Aus-Kiwi	0	830	05:06 PM Oct 10, 2016 by Aus-Kiwi
	Showering (Preview) How To Shower Like a Woman1. Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according tolights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 3. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 4. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to d...	rgren2	1	1022	08:41 PM Oct 8, 2016 by iana
	A Telephone Call (Preview) At dawn the telephone rings.Hello, Senor Lucky? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house.Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor, that your parrot diedMy parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?Si, Senor, t...	Yarra	0	1074	05:43 PM Oct 8, 2016 by Yarra
	Situation Joke (Preview) A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened."Well, it was like this," says the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, she sliced her ball into a cow pasture. We went to look for it, and while I was searching a...	Yarra	0	905	05:38 PM Oct 8, 2016 by Yarra
	Mem'ries.... (Where Did I Put My Keys): A Cartoon from ... (Preview) https://www.youtube.com/embed/prfCkIOdeAc?rel=0&controls=0&showinfo=0 Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	5	1298	05:35 PM Oct 8, 2016 by Felicia
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