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IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT
(Preview)
Tea is more dangerous than beer. Please avoid drinking tea. I discovered this last night. I had 14 beers till 3am at the pub while my wife was just drinking tea at home. You should have seen how violent and angry she was when I got home. I was peaceful, silent and headed to bed as she shouted at me, all nig...
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kiwijims
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0
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902
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Consideration
(Preview)
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes more difficult for them to maintain the same standard of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to shout at them. Some are over-sensitive, and there's nothing worse than an over-sensitive woman. M...
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Possum3
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0
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925
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Extreme Protection...firing blanks...
(Preview)
Submitted I guess because I still can.....Hoo Roo
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Goldfinger
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6
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1156
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Management Lessons
(Preview)
Management LessonsLesson Number One A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fo...
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oldbloke
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1
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1000
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South African joke
(Preview)
A South African Joke in true tradition of Rugby Koos was walking through his veld one day when he spots someone drinking water from a pool. He shouts, "Moenie die water drink nie, dis vol skaap kak". (Don't drink that water its full of sheep s***) The other guy says, "I'm from England mate, speak E...
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Yarra
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1
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1083
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Men's Pearls of Wisdom (Risque)
(Preview)
1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big di*k or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose. 2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. 3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects. 4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'... 5. Th...
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Possum3
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1
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888
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Woman Driver
(Preview)
Crazy woman driver! I was behind one on my way home from work and she indicated to turn left and what does she go and do? ...........................She actually turns left! How am I supposed to prepare myself with these mind games?...
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Possum3
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0
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997
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Adult Fairy Tale
(Preview)
CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cin...
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Yarra
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1
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1032
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A 5 second Boooooooooooo.
(closed)
(Preview)
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Goldfinger
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10
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1326
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A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of coma
(Preview)
...for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?You have been with me all through the bad times.When I got fired, you were there to support me.When my b...
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Yarra
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0
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905
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Grandfathers Don't Always Know Everything!..
(Preview)
victor was 4 years old and was staying with his grandfather for a few days.He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked,'Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?'His Grandpa was a little taken aback, ...
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kiwijims
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0
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794
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Aussie Royal Footmen.....
(Preview)
Two blokes living in outback Australia saw a couple of workin' jobs advertised by Buckingham Palace looking for Royal Footmen for the Queen, to walk beside her carriage..... They duly applied and were flown to London for an interview with Her Majesty... Her Majesty said " Because one's Footmen mu...
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Goldfinger
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0
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827
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The Parrot Speaks.....
(Preview)
I see Melania Trump just got Donald a parrot for Xmas.... I saw in the N.Y. Times that during a lull between speeches at the recent Presidential Swearing-In Ceremony, Melania leaned over to chat with recently appointed Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson. "You know , I bought Donald a parrot for Chris...
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Goldfinger
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5
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1305
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Why?
(Preview)
Son:"Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!" Father: "That's great son. Who is she?" Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter" Father: "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister.....
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Possum3
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0
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1055
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Zoo Trip
(Preview)
I've just been to see the meerkats at the zoo, How disappointing !! They know sweet fanny adams about car insurance
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Possum3
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0
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936
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I was at the pub
(Preview)
"Hey Mate, your wife's on the phone, she said if you don't get out of the pub now the dog is getting your tea. " "I'd better go, " I said, "I really love that dog"
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Possum3
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0
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866
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Alligator Shoes
(Preview)
A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the sh...
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Yarra
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0
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885
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Aldi Doctor...
(Preview)
Aldi Doctor One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Aldi's. Just give it a urine sample and the com...
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aussie_paul
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0
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968
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Dad n Dave
(Preview)
Dad n Dave took two stuffed dogs to an antiques road show, Ooh said the presenter this is a rare set , produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists who operated out of London at the turn of the last century. Do you have any ideas what they would fetch if they were in good condition ? Stick...
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Woody n Sue
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0
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821
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SHOCKING AIR DISASTER IN IRELAND....
(Preview)
Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 2826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night. !!!!! K.J.
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kiwijims
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0
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866
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