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S'pose it may work (C&P)
(Preview)
After having their 11th child, a Scouse couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem bu...
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Possum3
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0
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1013
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Ant.
(Preview)
Today I saw an ant in my kitchen, I was bored so I put a sugar cube out for her. She had some of the sugar and then off she went (obviously to tell all her friends) so I quickly hid the sugar cube because I want them all to think she is a liar
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Possum3
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1
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992
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Weather forecaster
(Preview)
Once upon a time ... The king called on the royal weather forecaster and inquired as to the weather forecast for the next few hours. The royal weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain for at least 4 days. So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen. On the way he met a farmer on his donkey...
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Woody2
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1
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1055
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Correct English Definition
(Preview)
Correct English Definition I phoned a long standing friend and asked what he was doing. He replied that he is working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment". (I was impressed......) On further enquiring I learnt that he was washing the dis...
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Woody2
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0
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1075
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Gettin' Older.........
(Preview)
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Goldfinger
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0
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984
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Little Johnny
(Preview)
A teacher asks the class to name things that ends with Tor and that eats things First boy: Alligator Teacher: Very Good that's a big word... Second boy : Predator Teacher: Yes, That's another big word.Well done Little Johnny: Vibrator. After nearly falling off her chair Teacher: That is a big word,bu...
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Possum3
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0
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962
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Something about Senior Moments.... I think? But I Can't Remember
(Preview)
My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds ... only 15 to go.1. Ate salad for dinner ... mostly croutons & tomatoes ... really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce ... and cheese... FINE, it was a pizza ... I ate a pizza!2. How to prepare Tofu:First throw it in the trash and then grill s...
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Yarra
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0
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1034
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How do you know when you're growing old
(Preview)
Everything Hurts, And What Doesn't Hurt, Doesn't Work.Your Little Black Book Contains Names Only Ending In M.D.You Get Winded Playing Chess.You Join A Health Club And Don't Go.You Still Chase The Opposite Sex But Don't Know Why.You Look Forward To Dull Evenings.You Turn Out The Lights For Economi...
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Yarra
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0
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919
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Safe sex
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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1012
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Grandma's memory
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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877
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Man gets beaten up in elevator
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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1311
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Bless me Father......
(Preview)
"Bless me father-- for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman." The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?" "Yes, Father, it is. "And, who was the woman you were with?" "Sure and I can't be tellin' you Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."... "Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out...
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Possum3
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0
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985
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Trying to argue with the misses
(Preview)
oops mistake sorry Link did not work... -- Edited by Ron-D on Monday 30th of January 2017 11:11:50 AM -- Edited by Ron-D on Monday 30th of January 2017 11:17:18 AM
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Ron-D
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6
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1609
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The Bacon Tree
(Preview)
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says:... "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk." "Is, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon." With rene...
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Possum3
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3
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1206
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A man is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock at the door
(Preview)
He opens it to find two sheriffs deputies there. He asks if there is a problem.One of the deputies asks if he is married. The man replies, Yes, I am.The deputy then asks if he could see a picture of the mans wife.The guy says, Sure and gets a photo to show them.The deputy says, Im sorry, sir. But it looks like...
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Yarra
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1
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1013
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The hair cut
(Preview)
A salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his meeting tomorrow, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises. "I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically,"but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that sh...
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Yarra
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1
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1084
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New Wife
(Preview)
Three friends married women from different parts of the world.The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.The second man married a Thai girl. H...
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oldbloke
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1
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1460
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Meet Clara..Australia's new Trade negotiator to the United States of Amerhicaaa...
(Preview)
This is Clara...she has been appointed by our Prime Minister to ""negotiate"" all Trade Deals with President Trump... You know,..... I think this is actually 'GOING TO WORK'....!...Hoo Roo
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Goldfinger
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0
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1118
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Magic Sandals
(Preview)
A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica . They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, 'You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop..' So the married couple wa...
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Possum3
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0
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986
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THE CLOCK!
(Preview)
A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks for?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone who has ever been on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move."... "...
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Possum3
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1
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1125
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