Just Joking

goldfinger · goldfinger

A Hotel guest calls the front desk and the clerk answers, "May I help you?" The bloke says, "Yes mate I'm in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm currently having another argument with my wife and she says she's going to jump out of this room's window." Th...

Yarra · Yarra

A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square offfor the Olympic gold medal. Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said 'Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has. It ties you up in knots...

goldfinger · goldfinger

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a Great chest you have!" He tells her, "That's 100lbs of dynamite Baaaaby." He takes off his pants and the blonde says, "Myy, what massive calves you have!" He tells her "That's 100lbs of dynamite B...

Yarra · Yarra

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home... Sergeant: What is her height?Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall. Sergeant: Weight?Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat. Sergeant: Colour of eyes?Husband: Sort of brown I th...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

I was walking through the local supermarket the other day when I saw a grandfather walking around with his 2 year old grandson. It was obvious that the grandpa wasn't having an easy time of it, with the siren-like voice of his cherished youngling scaling upwards every time candy or toys came into view...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

A lady goes on vacation to Jamaica. Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him,"What is your name?""I can't tell you" the black man says.Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always respo...

goldfinger · goldfinger

Daughter to Father: "Dad there is something my new boyfriend said to me, that I didn't fully understand." He said that I' have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags, fantastic bumper,....and....do I prefer a manual gear change?'... Father's Response: "Go tell your new boyfriend...

Moorey · Moorey

Dave

Moorey · Moorey

His wife left a note for him to prepare dinner that evening:Shepherds Pie needs to be taken out of the fridge and placed in the oven at 140 degrees. Dave

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

goldfinger · goldfinger

Bob was staring sadly into his beer and sighed heavily. "What's up Bob? asked the bartender.... It's not like you to be so down in the mouth." "It's my five year old son..." Bob replied. "Don't tell me, he's in trouble for fighting in school?....my lad's just the same- for...

goldfinger · goldfinger

During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says: "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. "Now let me see the 'bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble." The lady immediately starts removing her undies, however is interrupted by her Doctor... &qu...

goldfinger · goldfinger

While at the Bar: Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says: "Listen here good looking...I will screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, their place, my place, in the car, by the front door by the back door, in the back door, on the gro...

Yarra · Yarra

Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances. While attending a Marriage Weekend, my wife and I listened to the instructor declare, It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other". He then addressed the men, Can you name...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing and stopped at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman behind him was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed h...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Should I Really Join Facebook? (Priceless)Read it all the way through! It's a good laugh! AND really quite true!! A good laugh for people in the over 70 group !!! When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, take...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

....Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother th...

Yarra · Yarra

<http://i.imgur.com/2SvpTAA.gifv>

Yarra · Yarra

Andrew the drover (Aussie Cowboy) from a huge cattle station in the Australian outback appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St Peter asked. "Well, I can think of one thing," the drover offered. Once, on a trip to th...

dishlicker · dishlicker

The judge says to a double murder defendant, " Your'e charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer". A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!" The judge says, "You are also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	....and a few more zingers........ (Preview) A Hotel guest calls the front desk and the clerk answers, "May I help you?" The bloke says, "Yes mate I'm in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm currently having another argument with my wife and she says she's going to jump out of this room's window." Th...	goldfinger	1	1162	11:05 PM Feb 26, 2016 by Hey Jim
	Irish Wrestler (Preview) A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square offfor the Olympic gold medal. Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said 'Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has. It ties you up in knots...	Yarra	1	1129	10:10 AM Feb 26, 2016 by Woody n Sue
	100 LBS OF DYNAMITE... (Preview) The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a Great chest you have!" He tells her, "That's 100lbs of dynamite Baaaaby." He takes off his pants and the blonde says, "Myy, what massive calves you have!" He tells her "That's 100lbs of dynamite B...	goldfinger	1	978	11:21 AM Feb 25, 2016 by Bruce and Bev
	Can you describe your wife ? (Preview) Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home... Sergeant: What is her height?Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall. Sergeant: Weight?Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat. Sergeant: Colour of eyes?Husband: Sort of brown I th...	Yarra	1	1042	11:19 AM Feb 25, 2016 by Bruce and Bev
	The Very Patient Grandpa... (Preview) I was walking through the local supermarket the other day when I saw a grandfather walking around with his 2 year old grandson. It was obvious that the grandpa wasn't having an easy time of it, with the siren-like voice of his cherished youngling scaling upwards every time candy or toys came into view...	aussie_paul	2	1173	10:49 PM Feb 24, 2016 by aussie_paul
	Snow in Jamaica (Preview) A lady goes on vacation to Jamaica. Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him,"What is your name?""I can't tell you" the black man says.Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always respo...	Woody n Sue	0	944	10:27 PM Feb 24, 2016 by Woody n Sue
	Father was obviously a mechanic...... (Preview) Daughter to Father: "Dad there is something my new boyfriend said to me, that I didn't fully understand." He said that I' have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags, fantastic bumper,....and....do I prefer a manual gear change?'... Father's Response: "Go tell your new boyfriend...	goldfinger	1	1124	10:13 PM Feb 24, 2016 by Bruce and Bev
	The Observant Kangaroo (Preview) Dave	Moorey	2	967	10:09 PM Feb 24, 2016 by Bruce and Bev
	Husband Prepares Dinner (Preview) *His wife left a note for him to prepare dinner that evening:Shepherds Pie needs to be taken out of the fridge and placed in the oven at 140 degrees.*** Dave	Moorey	1	1278	08:32 AM Feb 24, 2016 by grahos
	He said tonight is all about you darling (Preview)	Woody n Sue	3	1311	09:22 PM Feb 22, 2016 by Baz421
	Troublesome five year old.... (Preview) Bob was staring sadly into his beer and sighed heavily. "What's up Bob? asked the bartender.... It's not like you to be so down in the mouth." "It's my five year old son..." Bob replied. "Don't tell me, he's in trouble for fighting in school?....my lad's just the same- for...	goldfinger	0	1009	07:49 PM Feb 22, 2016 by goldfinger
	Time for a 'Quickie'..... (Preview) During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says: "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. "Now let me see the 'bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble." The lady immediately starts removing her undies, however is interrupted by her Doctor... &qu...	goldfinger	0	944	07:37 PM Feb 22, 2016 by goldfinger
	While at the Bar....... (Preview) While at the Bar: Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says: "Listen here good looking...I will screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, their place, my place, in the car, by the front door by the back door, in the back door, on the gro...	goldfinger	0	959	12:43 PM Feb 20, 2016 by goldfinger
	What is Celibacy? (Preview) Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances. While attending a Marriage Weekend, my wife and I listened to the instructor declare, It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other". He then addressed the men, Can you name...	Yarra	0	985	03:27 PM Feb 19, 2016 by Yarra
	The light turned yellow, just in front of him..... (Preview) The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing and stopped at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman behind him was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed h...	aussie_paul	2	1311	01:56 PM Feb 19, 2016 by aussie_paul
	The age of didgits (Preview) Should I Really Join Facebook? (Priceless)Read it all the way through! It's a good laugh! AND really quite true!! A good laugh for people in the over 70 group !!! When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, take...	Wombat 280	1	1109	09:20 AM Feb 19, 2016 by Magnarc
	On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, (Preview) ....Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother th...	aussie_paul	0	959	07:28 PM Feb 18, 2016 by aussie_paul
	Why you should never join a seniors group (Preview) <http://i.imgur.com/2SvpTAA.gifv>	Yarra	0	1820	11:50 AM Feb 18, 2016 by Yarra
	The Drover and St Peter (Preview) Andrew the drover (Aussie Cowboy) from a huge cattle station in the Australian outback appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St Peter asked. "Well, I can think of one thing," the drover offered. Once, on a trip to th...	Yarra	0	961	09:15 AM Feb 18, 2016 by Yarra
	Double Murder (Preview) The judge says to a double murder defendant, " Your'e charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer". A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!" The judge says, "You are also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."...	dishlicker	0	922	07:50 PM Feb 17, 2016 by dishlicker
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