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A Scottish Joke
(Preview)
Scottish Short Joke!!A bloke walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim librarian, "Excuse me, Miss, dey ye hiv ony books on suicide?" To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses and says, "Fook off, ye'll no bring it back!"K.J.
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kiwijims
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1
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846
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How's ya hearing ?
(Preview)
The Agony of Agingâ¦.On the morning that Daylight Savings
Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering
his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You better get
your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock bacK ..
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Aus-Kiwi
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1
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853
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Forgot Her Birthday...
(Preview)
Forgot Her Birthday... It was breakfast time at the Smiths' house. Linda turned to her husband Frank with an irritated look and said: "I bet you don't remember what today is!" "Of course I remember!" declared Frank, and hastily left for work. When he reached his office, he i...
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aussie_paul
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0
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856
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Terrorism High Alert Causing Me Problems
(Preview)
Terrorism High Alert Causing Me Problems When I was at the checkout and ready to pay for my groceries the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note so I could complain to my local MP about this security rubbish, I did just as she had instructed. After the shrieking and hyste...
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Douglas Leigh
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1
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823
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How to say i love you in the following
(Preview)
English I Love You Spanish Te Amo French Je T'aime German Ich Liebe Dich Japanese Ai ****e Imasu Italian Ti Amo Chinese Wo Ai Ni Swedish Jag Alskar Dig Lithuanian As Tave Meliu Alabama, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, South Carolina, Georgia...
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Douglas Leigh
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0
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729
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Jewish ladies
(Preview)
4 Jewish ladies meet after 30 years at their High School Reunion. One goes to take food while theother 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became.No. 1 says her son studied economics, became a banker and isso rich, he gave his best friend a Ferrari.No. 2 said her son became a pilot, started hi...
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Yarra
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1
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867
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A Bright Student
(Preview)
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kiwijims
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1
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1095
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Beyond it ????
(Preview)
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kiwijims
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1
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936
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The dangers of flying
(Preview)
Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York . The weather ahead is good, so we should have an uneventful flight. So, sit back,...
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Magnarc
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0
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805
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Favourite movie test
(Preview)
DO NOT LOOK AT THE MOVIE LIST FIRST....JUST DO THE MATH....THEN LOOK The Movie Test This is pretty damn amazing. Mine turned out to be 'Raiders of the Lost Ark.' I was surprised how this worked. Be honest and don't look at the movie list till you have done the math! Try this test and find out wha...
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Douglas Leigh
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4
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919
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Two golfers
(Preview)
These two guys loved to have a round of golf together whenever they could fit it in their normal working schedules. Well, this particular day they were well into their game when there were two ladies up in front holding a conversation on the next hole & the guys waited & waited for them to have th...
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Baggie
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0
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1014
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Viagra (just a little naughty)
(Preview)
An elderly gentleman walked into his doctors office and told the doctor he needed some Viagra. The doctor said at your age, to which he replied I've gotta give it a go Doc. The doctor advised him he would give him a script for one issue of four tablets and to come back in a month for a checkup. The elderly gen...
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Moorey
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3
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1200
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The Pastor's Donkey
(Preview)
The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in an...
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Brenda and Alan
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2
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1123
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Three golfers
(Preview)
Three elderly golfers are walking down the fairway.Sixty is the WORST age to be, said the sixty-year-old man. You always feel like you have to pee. But most of the time, nothing happens!Ah, thats nothing, said the seventy-year-old man. When youre seventy, you dont have bowel movements anymore. You...
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Yarra
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0
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758
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Age catches up with us all
(Preview)
Interesting perspective - can anyone come up with a tune for them all:
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D and D
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4
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972
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A giggle for the ladies..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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2
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909
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LOVE this story/joke...
(Preview)
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple o...
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aussie_paul
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0
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680
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For those who enjoy adult colouring ...
(Preview)
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Cadpete
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1
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884
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Twins
(Preview)
A Spaniard guy's wife had twin boys, He called one Jose' and the other Jose B. Daft aint it?
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Magnarc
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0
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932
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THE SUSPICIOUS WIFE
(Preview)
A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her, and having an affair with the Maid. So she laid down a trap. One evening she suddenly sent the Maid home for the weekend & didn't tell the husband. That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story: "Excuse me...
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Douglas Leigh
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0
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879
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