Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I dont have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I dont have a curfew. I have a drivers license and my own car. I have ID that gets me into bars and the whisky store. The peo...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Here's something to think about........I recently picked a new GP. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age (I've just reached 60).A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 85?'He asked, 'Do you sm...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving along a winding road when they noticed someone at the roadside in distress. Being the pe...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

June · June

Saint Peter is seeing all the new arrivals trying to go through the Pearly Gates....... The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one. 'I came home early and found my wife laying naked in bed. She claimed that she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

Hendo · Hendo

MICROCHIP IMPLANT ALLOWS TERRORISTS TO SPEAK TO GOD COPPER COATED MICROCHIP IMPLANT ALLOWS TERRORISTS TO SPEAK TO GOD. The implant is specifically designed to be injected in the forehead. When properly installed, it will instantly allow the terrorist to speak to God. It comes in var...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A to apply for a job.The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee.""OK, have you ever been in the military service?""Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for one tour."The interviewer s...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Special Travel Package for BusinessmenAn Airline introduced a special package for Business men. Buy your ticket, get your wife's ticket free! After great success, the company sent letters to all the wives asking how the trip was. 72% of them gave the same reply..."What trip?" Co...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

A chicken farmer went to the local bar. He sat next to a woman and ordered champagne. The woman said: "How strange, I also just ordered a glass of champagne." "What a coincidence," said the farmer, who added, " It is a special day for me. I am celebrating." "I...

Possum3 · Possum3

I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business. This big O FAT, ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my ass and said, "You're kind of cute; you gotta phone number?" I said, "Yea. You gotta pen?" She said, "Yea, I got a pen." Isaid, "Youd better ge...

Yarra · Yarra

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Terrorism, High Alert Causing Me Problems After hearing the news about possible terrorism attack and a high security alert I was a little nervous, so when I was at the checkout and ready to pay for my groceries the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note so I could comp...

Brenda and Alan · Brenda and Alan

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began.The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beat...

erad · erad

A man went to a new zoo. There was only one animal there - a dog. It was a sh1tzu. -- Edited by erad on Tuesday 1st of December 2015 08:51:58 PM

Tomcat · Tomcat

What did the solar panels say when the sun came out from the clouds.....Array.

Tomcat · Tomcat

So there was this old couple who agreed to write things down to remember because the they were losing their memories and starting to argue a bit. The husband said to the wife would you like a snack my dear to which she replied yes please i would like some strawberries. He said coming right up but before he g...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

Frank and Fiona were making passionate > love in Frank's van when suddenly > Fiona, who was a bit on the kinky > side, and had just read "50 shades of > grey", yells out, > > "Oh fat boy, whip me, whip me!" > > Frank, not wanting to pass up this > unique op...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Old is Good??????? (Preview) I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I dont have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I dont have a curfew. I have a drivers license and my own car. I have ID that gets me into bars and the whisky store. The peo...	aussie_paul	0	1045	12:21 PM Dec 14, 2015 by aussie_paul
	Will You Live to see 85? (Preview) Here's something to think about........I recently picked a new GP. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age (I've just reached 60).A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 85?'He asked, 'Do you sm...	aussie_paul	1	1112	12:48 AM Dec 14, 2015 by Young Simmo
	I've known this for years (Preview) There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving along a winding road when they noticed someone at the roadside in distress. Being the pe...	Young Simmo	1	874	08:22 PM Dec 13, 2015 by grahos
	What would I be if (Preview)	Woody n Sue	1	904	08:20 PM Dec 13, 2015 by grahos
	What's for tea. "Salad" ? (Preview)	Woody n Sue	0	794	05:05 PM Dec 13, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Pearly Gates....... (Preview) Saint Peter is seeing all the new arrivals trying to go through the Pearly Gates....... The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one. 'I came home early and found my wife laying naked in bed. She claimed that she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and...	June	0	789	06:29 PM Dec 12, 2015 by June
	Bloody government, taking the easy way out.. (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	1028	08:52 AM Dec 12, 2015 by aussie_paul
	Microchip Implant (Preview) MICROCHIP IMPLANT ALLOWS TERRORISTS TO SPEAK TO GOD COPPER COATED MICROCHIP IMPLANT ALLOWS TERRORISTS TO SPEAK TO GOD. The implant is specifically designed to be injected in the forehead. When properly installed, it will instantly allow the terrorist to speak to God. It comes in var...	Hendo	2	871	07:36 PM Dec 11, 2015 by SLUG
	A guy goes to the Post Office... (Preview) A to apply for a job.The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee.""OK, have you ever been in the military service?""Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for one tour."The interviewer s...	aussie_paul	0	916	05:31 PM Dec 11, 2015 by aussie_paul
	lol.... (Preview) *Special Travel Package for Businessmen*An Airline introduced a special package for Business men. Buy your ticket, get your wife's ticket free! After great success, the company sent letters to all the wives asking how the trip was. 72% of them gave the same reply..."What trip?" Co...	aussie_paul	0	981	11:15 AM Dec 11, 2015 by aussie_paul
	OOooooPS (Preview) A chicken farmer went to the local bar. He sat next to a woman and ordered champagne. The woman said: "How strange, I also just ordered a glass of champagne." "What a coincidence," said the farmer, who added, " It is a special day for me. I am celebrating." "I...	Young Simmo	0	815	02:40 PM Dec 10, 2015 by Young Simmo
	When you're over 70 who cares? (Preview) I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business. This big O FAT, ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my ass and said, "You're kind of cute; you gotta phone number?" I said, "Yea. You gotta pen?" She said, "Yea, I got a pen." Isaid, "Youd better ge...	Possum3	0	1144	01:31 PM Dec 10, 2015 by Possum3
	Morning After Xmas Party At The Zoo (Preview)	Yarra	0	1045	09:48 PM Dec 9, 2015 by Yarra
	Terrorism, High Alert Causing Me Problems (Preview) Terrorism, High Alert Causing Me Problems After hearing the news about possible terrorism attack and a high security alert I was a little nervous, so when I was at the checkout and ready to pay for my groceries the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note so I could comp...	aussie_paul	1	997	07:05 PM Dec 9, 2015 by Young Simmo
	How to outsmart teenagers (Preview) A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began.The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beat...	Brenda and Alan	0	838	11:56 AM Dec 9, 2015 by Brenda and Alan
	Zoo (Preview) A man went to a new zoo. There was only one animal there - a dog. It was a sh1tzu. -- Edited by erad on Tuesday 1st of December 2015 08:51:58 PM	erad	3	1009	01:14 AM Dec 9, 2015 by SLUG
	Happy solar panels (Preview) What did the solar panels say when the sun came out from the clouds.....Array.	Tomcat	0	698	12:53 AM Dec 9, 2015 by Tomcat
	Old couple getting mixed up (Preview) So there was this old couple who agreed to write things down to remember because the they were losing their memories and starting to argue a bit. The husband said to the wife would you like a snack my dear to which she replied yes please i would like some strawberries. He said coming right up but before he g...	Tomcat	0	826	12:46 AM Dec 9, 2015 by Tomcat
	Be Careful (Preview) Frank and Fiona were making passionate > love in Frank's van when suddenly > Fiona, who was a bit on the kinky > side, and had just read "50 shades of > grey", yells out, > > "Oh fat boy, whip me, whip me!" > > Frank, not wanting to pass up this > unique op...	Young Simmo	0	718	11:34 PM Dec 8, 2015 by Young Simmo
	Love it!!! (Preview)	Gunsondeck	0	754	07:18 PM Dec 8, 2015 by Gunsondeck
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