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Heaven
(Preview)
Mike and Yvonne were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years.Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they carefully watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to Yvonne's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the las...
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Yarra
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0
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843
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At least he tried
(Preview)
I was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching my wife who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off I asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. 'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror. On the morning of her birthday, I arose early, made her a...
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D and D
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3
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1023
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Do you fish hunt or smoke
(Preview)
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
&q...
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Woody n Sue
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3
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1197
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Economic Models Explained With Cows
(Preview)
SOCIALISM; You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor. COMMUNISM; You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM; You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM:You have 2 cows. The government takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM; You have 2 cows. Th...
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D and D
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1
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1139
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Pick on Blondes day!!!
(Preview)
DISNEYLANDTwo blondes were going to Disneyland.They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said "Disneyland LEFT"They started crying and turned around and went home.FLORIDA OR MOONTwo blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1079
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Why prejudice and bigotry are foolish.....
(Preview)
A rich Arab walks into a bar and is about to order a drink when he sees a guy close by wearing a Jewish cap, a prayer shawl and traditional locks of hair. He doesn't have to be Einstein to know this guy is Jewish. So he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear: 'drinks for everyone in her...
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rockylizard
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2
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910
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Is there so,some under my bed
(Preview)
EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM: "I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under It. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy." "Just put yourself in my hands for one year", said the...
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Woody n Sue
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1
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893
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Which thermometer
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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851
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The confession
(Preview)
An elderly Italian man who lived in the outskirts of Monte Cassino went to the local church for confession. He said: "Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. So I hid her in my attic." The priest replied: "That was a wond...
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Woody n Sue
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0
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754
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HAVING A BAD DAY, MAYBE NOT SO BAD.
(Preview)
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Baz421
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2
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858
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The bus...
(Preview)
A bus full of housewives going on a picnic, fell into a river, all died. Each husband cried for a week, one husband continued for more than two weeks!!! When asked that did he miss his wife so much, he replied miserably: No! My wife missed the bus!!! Aussie Paul. -- Edited by aussie_paul on W...
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aussie_paul
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2
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947
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What an Optomist?
(Preview)
An elderly couple reaching their 70s are about to get married, but before they say their vows, the woman wanted to talk. She said: "I want to keep my house." He said: "That's fine with me." She said: "I want to keep my Cadillac." He said: "That's fine with me.&quo...
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Young Simmo
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2
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1001
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Be careful what you ask for
(Preview)
An atheist was walking through the woods.'What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals,' he said to himself.As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging towards him.He ran as fast as...
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D and D
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7
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1284
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Oop's
(Preview)
We'll die trying. Simmo.........................See next post under here. -- Edited by Young Simmo on Sunday 3rd of January 2016 07:27:41 PM
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Young Simmo
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2
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884
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TANJOOBERRYMUTTS
(Preview)
You may have seen this before...... I have not completed the joke pages as yet to see where you are all at.......... :) By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND"TANJOOBERRYMUTTS"...and be ready for room service in China.Now, here goes... The following is a telephonic exch...
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Bushpie
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2
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1041
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The Oriental detective. (Just a little bit naughty)
(Preview)
This bloke suspects his wife of infidelity so he hires an Oriental private eye to follow her and observe. After a week or so he reports back and the following conversation takes place. " Did you follow her?" "Yes, I follow" What did you see?" "I follow her to apartment...
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Magnarc
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0
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979
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A new hearing aid for men
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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1
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856
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Prostate Exam...Thai Style..
(Preview)
Here's a little story to cheer up all men. After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test on the National Health Service, a friend of mine decided to have his next test carried out while visiting in Thailand, where there are beautiful nurses who are more gentle and accommoda...
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Yarra
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1
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917
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Made me smile again
(Preview)
A lady walks into a bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking. "Magic Beer", he says. She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after noticing that there is no one else worth talking to, she goes back to the man sitti...
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Young Simmo
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2
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1122
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Chinese Travel Agent
(Preview)
There was this Chinese girl at a travel agency when I was in Shanghai , I asked her if she could escort me for a city tour and asked for her mobile number, so I could call her to make arrangements.She got excited and said: "sex sex sex, wan free sex for tonigh"Wow, I'm guessing this is how Chinese...
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Ole Grizzly
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2
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893
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