|
Ten dollars is ten dollars
(Preview)
George and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year George would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Martha would say, "I know George, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." One year George and Martha went to the...
|
Yarra
|
0
|
972
|
|
|
|
|
Blonde convention
(Preview)
80,000 blondes meet in a football stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention.The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.The leader asks her, "What is...
|
Yarra
|
0
|
993
|
|
|
|
|
Mum's Driving Liscence
(Preview)
A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date. 'Mummy', the little girl asks, 'how old are you?''Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age', the mother replied. 'It's not polite'.'OK', the little girl says, 'What colour was your hair 2 years ago?''Now really', the mo...
|
Moorey
|
0
|
996
|
|
|
|
|
Groaners
(Preview)
TEN PUNS TO BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY1. Two vultures board an air plane; each is carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."2. Two boll weevils grew up in the deep South. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. Th...
|
Yarra
|
0
|
1118
|
|
|
|
|
Musings
(Preview)
1. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now!2. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.3. I decided to stop calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.4. Last year I joined a...
|
rgren2
|
0
|
1114
|
|
|
|
|
Great sex quotes
(Preview)
SomeGreat Sex Quotes!"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL500." - Lynn Lavner "It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." - George Burns "Women might be able to fake...
|
rgren2
|
0
|
1019
|
|
|
|
|
Evolution of the dinosaur
(Preview)
|
Woody n Sue
|
0
|
865
|
|
|
|
|
Last school day
(Preview)
On the last day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher basket of assorted fruit.The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.The Sweet Shop owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of assorted sweets.Th...
|
Yarra
|
1
|
1136
|
|
|
|
|
Taxi!
(Preview)
A woman and her twelve-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit.It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings."Mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?""They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied.The taxi driver turns around and says, "Ge...
|
Yarra
|
0
|
1084
|
|
|
|
|
Another Blond Joke
(Preview)
A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman"She started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do."Well, I guess I could use som...
|
Yarra
|
0
|
884
|
|
|
|
|
Support.
(Preview)
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked uptothe woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for mywife.""What type of bra?" asked the clerk." Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in e...
|
rgren2
|
0
|
992
|
|
|
|
|
Sail boat fuel
(Preview)
|
Woody n Sue
|
1
|
1224
|
|
|
|
|
A man doing market research knocked on a door
(Preview)
A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.He said, "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?"She said, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.""If you don't mind me asking, what do yo...
|
Yarra
|
3
|
1279
|
|
|
|
|
Sports commentators
(Preview)
|
Woody n Sue
|
5
|
1211
|
|
|
|
|
Trump
(Preview)
Hillary Clinton decides to send Donald Trump a letter to let him know how she feels about him. Trump opens the letter and it appears to contain a single- line coded message: 370HSSV 0773H. Trump, not for the first time, is now completely baffled so he e-mails it to Melania Trump (his current wi...
|
Hendo
|
3
|
1032
|
|
|
|
|
Broadband in the Bush
(Preview)
An oldie but a goodie....................Aussie Computer Terminology - Getting ready for Broadband in the bush!! A little bit of Aussie culcha. LOGON: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter.LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie.MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie.DOWNLOAD: Get...
|
kiwijims
|
0
|
1032
|
|
|
|
|
Obscene Phone Call
(Preview)
The phone rings, a woman answers, "Hello".A pervert, with heavy breathing, says, "I bet you have a tight butt with no hair!"The woman replies, "Yes I do, he's watching golf - who shall I say is calling?"
|
Yarra
|
0
|
1036
|
|
|
|
|
92 yrs old
(Preview)
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues: Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitch-hiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each o...
|
Woody2
|
0
|
1083
|
|
|
|
|
Forgive me ,father
(Preview)
There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. ' The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.' The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.' The prie...
|
Woody2
|
0
|
1075
|
|
|
|
|
Irish no 2
(Preview)
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an ani...
|
Woody2
|
0
|
1041
|
|
|
