Just Joking

Moorey · Moorey

Shortly it will become compulsory for senior citizens to carry not only their ID, but also their insurance documents, their prescription list, a compact version of their medical file, the statement declaring if they want to be resuscitated after a heart attack, stroke, etc. etc. Consequently, a...

June · June

'There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL500.' Lynn Lavner 'It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.' George Burns 'Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake...

Possum3 · Possum3

Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza. How to prepare Tofu: 1. Throw it in the trash. 2. Grill some Meat. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider...

Possum3 · Possum3

Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell fast asleep. When Brian awoke a few hours later he found a strange man was standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowi...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a locked chest on top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For al...

goldfinger · goldfinger

A woman was in a coma; she had been in it for months. One day nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement. They w...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Be on your guard ... Australian police have just issued a warning about keys.They warn just 4 keys that can open 87% of cars and 99% of houses in Australia.The keys you need to be on the lookout for are: Dar-keys, Pak-keys, Bi-keys and Jun-keys Aussie Paul.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

In honour of this day we thought we would kick start the morning with a funny Irish joke.This one is about a young Irish man going for a job interviewYoung man Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the s...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Two paddies were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one man digging a hol...

Bruce and Bev · Bruce and Bev

Just for a laugh - have many more if you want me to post them.............

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Recently, the Townsville Police Department ran an e-mail forum with the local community (a question and answer exchange) with the topic being, "Community Policing." One of the civilian e-mail participants posed the following question: "I would like to know how it is possibl...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

Woody2 · Woody2

AFL vs. NRL...This will open your eyes! 36 have been accused of spouse abuse. 7 have been arrested for fraud. 19 have been accused of writing bad cheques. 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses. 3 have done time for assault. 71, repeat 71 cannot get a credit card due to b...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Fifty Shades of Grey The missus bought a Paperback,down Shepton Mallet way,I had a look inside her bagTwas Fifty Shades of Grey.Well I just left her to it,And at ten I went to bed.An hour later she appeared;The sight filled me with dread.In her left hand she held a rope;And in her right a whip!She thre...

goldfinger · goldfinger

Paddy's pregnant sister was involved in a nasty car accident and was placed into a deep coma. After being in the Coma for nearly six months, she re-gained consciousness and saw she was no longer pregnant. Frantically she asked the Doctor about her baby. The Doctor replied.."All is fine...you...

Magnarc · Magnarc

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read: "I'm the Boss!" He then attached it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that som...

Yarra · Yarra

There was a man who had worked all of his life and has saved all of his money. He was a real cheapskate when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with m...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

goldfinger · goldfinger

Sent to me by a supposed mate.......... Kidnappers are not very interested in you...and in a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. No One expects you to run anymore. People call at 9pm....or 9am and ask.."Did I wake you?" People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. ...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	New USB Stick For Mature Travelers (Preview) Shortly it will become compulsory for senior citizens to carry not only their ID, but also their insurance documents, their prescription list, a compact version of their medical file, the statement declaring if they want to be resuscitated after a heart attack, stroke, etc. etc. Consequently, a...	Moorey	1	1303	08:25 PM Mar 22, 2016 by Baz421
	Quotes by famous people (Preview) 'There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL500.' Lynn Lavner 'It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.' George Burns 'Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake...	June	0	1154	11:00 AM Mar 22, 2016 by June
	Healthy Diet (Preview) Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza. How to prepare Tofu: 1. Throw it in the trash. 2. Grill some Meat. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider...	Possum3	1	1184	09:14 PM Mar 20, 2016 by Woody n Sue
	Reincarnation (Preview) Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell fast asleep. When Brian awoke a few hours later he found a strange man was standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowi...	Possum3	0	1116	04:24 PM Mar 20, 2016 by Possum3
	Her Well-Kept Secret... (Preview) A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a locked chest on top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For al...	aussie_paul	0	1024	03:28 PM Mar 20, 2016 by aussie_paul
	ASSUMPTIONS..... (Preview) A woman was in a coma; she had been in it for months. One day nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement. They w...	goldfinger	0	979	11:35 PM Mar 17, 2016 by goldfinger
	This would be the same in America and Europe!!! (Preview) Be on your guard ... Australian police have just issued a warning about keys.They warn just 4 keys that can open 87% of cars and 99% of houses in Australia.The keys you need to be on the lookout for are: Dar-keys, Pak-keys, Bi-keys and Jun-keys Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	1	1255	11:15 PM Mar 17, 2016 by goldfinger
	Happy St Patricks Day! (Preview) In honour of this day we thought we would kick start the morning with a funny Irish joke.This one is about a young Irish man going for a job interviewYoung man Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the s...	aussie_paul	0	892	02:34 PM Mar 17, 2016 by aussie_paul
	Pick on the Irish St Patrick's day... (Preview) Two paddies were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one man digging a hol...	aussie_paul	0	1238	01:31 PM Mar 17, 2016 by aussie_paul
	some amusing cartoons (Preview) Just for a laugh - have many more if you want me to post them.............	Bruce and Bev	4	1464	09:56 PM Mar 16, 2016 by Woody n Sue
	Recently, the Townsville Police Department (Preview) Recently, the Townsville Police Department ran an e-mail forum with the local community (a question and answer exchange) with the topic being, "Community Policing." One of the civilian e-mail participants posed the following question: "I would like to know how it is possibl...	aussie_paul	3	1580	12:34 AM Mar 16, 2016 by Bruce and Bev
	A bit of support for the ladies... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	1065	10:35 PM Mar 15, 2016 by aussie_paul
	AFL Vs NRL (Preview) AFL vs. NRL...This will open your eyes! 36 have been accused of spouse abuse. 7 have been arrested for fraud. 19 have been accused of writing bad cheques. 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses. 3 have done time for assault. 71, repeat 71 cannot get a credit card due to b...	Woody2	8	1779	09:31 AM Mar 13, 2016 by dorian
	Fifty Shades of Grey (Preview) Fifty Shades of Grey The missus bought a Paperback,down Shepton Mallet way,I had a look inside her bagTwas Fifty Shades of Grey.Well I just left her to it,And at ten I went to bed.An hour later she appeared;The sight filled me with dread.In her left hand she held a rope;And in her right a whip!She thre...	aussie_paul	0	1201	12:13 PM Mar 12, 2016 by aussie_paul
	Golden Oldie...'The Irish Christening'.... (Preview) Paddy's pregnant sister was involved in a nasty car accident and was placed into a deep coma. After being in the Coma for nearly six months, she re-gained consciousness and saw she was no longer pregnant. Frantically she asked the Doctor about her baby. The Doctor replied.."All is fine...you...	goldfinger	0	1159	11:06 PM Mar 10, 2016 by goldfinger
	Who's da Boss? (Preview) The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read: "I'm the Boss!" He then attached it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that som...	Magnarc	1	1174	08:20 PM Mar 8, 2016 by grahos
	Loophole (Preview) There was a man who had worked all of his life and has saved all of his money. He was a real cheapskate when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with m...	Yarra	1	1231	08:02 PM Mar 7, 2016 by grahos
	Saying Grace and a mans look (Preview)	Woody n Sue	0	1152	09:39 AM Mar 6, 2016 by Woody n Sue
	Who is Tina (Preview)	Woody n Sue	0	1052	09:18 AM Mar 6, 2016 by Woody n Sue
	There are perks to reaching seventy.... (Preview) Sent to me by a supposed mate.......... Kidnappers are not very interested in you...and in a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. No One expects you to run anymore. People call at 9pm....or 9am and ask.."Did I wake you?" People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. ...	goldfinger	0	1198	10:51 PM Mar 4, 2016 by goldfinger
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