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Low Battery
(Preview)
A man saved his girlfriend's phone number on his mobile as 'low battery'. Whenever she calls him, in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it into the charger. Give that man a medal! A Government Survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to Australia so that they can see their own do...
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June
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0
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963
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The bacon Tree
(Preview)
Two Mexicans are lost in the desert after crossing the Rio Grande into the United States. Wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says...:"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk.""Si, Luis, eet su...
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nimrod
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1
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1088
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....soooooo... who said we don't enjoy an excellent/close relationship......?
(Preview)
I believe this was eventually rejected as one of the design contenders for their new flag.... Its why we form the greatest/tight/packed Rugby scrums in the World...we enjoy it so much.....Hoo Roo -- Edited by Goldfinger on Saturday 17th of October 2015 04:23:48 PM
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Goldfinger
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1
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1404
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Apologies to you Irish people....
(Preview)
Bloke at a horse race whispers to Paddy next to him, "Do you want the winner of the next race?" Paddy replies "No tanks, oi've only got a small yard." Paddy and Mick found 3 hand grenades and decided to take them to the police station. Mick "What if one explodes before...
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aussie_paul
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0
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910
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Your test for today......
(Preview)
Your test for today.........I'm about to go gold detecting/prospecting again....so calm will no doubt return.....Hoo Roo
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Goldfinger
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3
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997
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How long should one live???
(Preview)
How long should one live??? Answer: Live long enough to be a real concern to your family......Hoo Roo
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Goldfinger
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5
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1276
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Murphy
(Preview)
Murphy was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows.'Thirty euros,' she whispers.Murphy had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it's only thirty euros. So they hid in the bushes.They're going 'at it' for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It is...
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Yarra
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0
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916
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phones
(Preview)
Woman are like phones They like to be held firmly Talked to softly And touched often But push the wrong button and your ars is disconnected. - - - Have you herd about the new zoo thats been built it has only one animal in it a Dog its a Shih tzu
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dishlicker
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1
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986
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The face you make when you hear a gold signal on your detector...
(Preview)
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Goldfinger
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2
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877
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....and they may even outlast me......
(Preview)
...my implants should last foreverrrrr.....they may even outlast me......
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Goldfinger
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2
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792
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I can do that..........NOT!!
(Preview)
I can do that........NOT!!.........apparently she was warned no strenuous exercise should be undertaken, after the fourteenth month of pregnancy......lamo...Hoo Roo . -- Edited by Goldfinger on Saturday 17th of October 2015 04:55:07 PM
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Goldfinger
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2
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869
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Wow!!!
(Preview)
Plenty of jokes this morning. Must have been a bad TV night!!!!! Aussie Paul. -- Edited by aussie_paul on Saturday 17th of October 2015 09:18:23 PM
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aussie_paul
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1
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940
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Should have checked the tide times......
(Preview)
Should have checked the tide times....
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Goldfinger
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3
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862
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A cabbie picks up a nun.
(Preview)
A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver wont stop staring at her.She asks him why he is staring.He replies: I have a question to ask you, but I dont want to offend you.She answers, My son, you cannot offend me. When youre as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chanc...
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aussie_paul
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0
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960
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Pleeease don't......pleeease don't....do what I think you're about to do..
(Preview)
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Goldfinger
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0
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740
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Grandma's Okay.....
(Preview)
Grandma's okay.......she was just sitting in her chair on the beach, last time I saw her
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Goldfinger
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0
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814
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Not sure
(Preview)
A market researcher called at a house and his knockwas answered by a young woman with three smallchildren running around her. He asked her if she mindedreplying to his questions and she agreed.He asked her if she knew his company, Cheeseborough-Ponds.When she said no, he mentioned that among their...
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Young Simmo
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1
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929
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RV Sales - Specials for Royals Travelling Oz...
(Preview)
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Weevil
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0
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768
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JOKES - ENJOY!
(Preview)
A man walks out to the street and stops a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Frank Feldman... he was a cabbie who did everything right all the time. Like my coming alon...
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aussie_paul
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0
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889
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BRITISH HUMOUR!
(Preview)
Prince Charles and the Hooker You can't resist British humour!!Prince Charles decided to take up walking every day. At the same street corner he passed a hooker standing there every day. He learned to brace himself as he approached h...
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justcruisin01
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0
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771
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