Just Joking

dishlicker · dishlicker

The recession had hit the elderly country couple harder than most and they had fallen on very hard times. Sarah offers to help by going out on the streets.Hubby Phill protests feebly, but Sarah goes out. The next morning he's counting her takings. There's $34.50. Which lousy bugger gave you 50 cents...

dishlicker · dishlicker

The gun shearer had been invited to the main homestead for the end of season evening meal. The woman of the house a very distinguished matron enquired, would you care to wash your hands before dinner. He replied no thanks mam i already washed them over against the fence.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great, I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What i...

Peter1059 · Peter1059

RETIRED HUSBAND After retiring, George's wife insisted that he accompany her on her trips to TESCO. (a British Supermarket Chain) Unfortunately, like most men, George found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, his wife is like most women - she loves to browse....

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Little Johnny walked into class every morning with a black eye.After a number of times of this happening, the teacher became increasingly worried and asked him about it.Johnny's answer was: "Our house is very small miss. Me, my mother and my father, we sleep on the same bed. Every night my fat...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it." "When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder. "Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Two Irishmen were waiting at the bus stop when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of turf. Jimmy said, Im gonna do that when I win the lottery. What's that then? asks Mikey. Send me lawn away to be mowed." Aussie Paul. -- Edited by aussie_paul on Tuesday 6th of October 2015 03:58:22 PM...

nimrod · nimrod

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

Hard of Hearing "Doctor, I think my wife is getting hard of hearing." "I'll have my nurse make an appointment for her, In the meantime, there's a simple, informal test you can run to give us an idea how bad the problem is. Here's what you do: start out about 40 feet away from her and in a nor...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 32...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

..just back from 3 weeks fishing and vanning Port Victoria and Wallaroo/Yorke Peninsula..showing my granddaughter how to fish and the places I lived in a past life........thought I would submit a few to offend as usual...lol.... 1. A Mother's Love: A little boy says to his mother "Mommy how c...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

As the doctor began his examination of an elderly slightly deaf patient he placed his stethoscope on her chest he instructed "big breaths " "yes they us to be" she remorsfully replied

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Walking through a supermarket, a young man noticed an old lady following him around. He ignored her for a while, but when he got to the checkout line, she got in front of him. Pardon me, she said. Im sorry if Ive been staring, but you look just like my son who died recently. Im sorry for your loss, the...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST. AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, "...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A man and woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" Neighbours feared him. The old ma...

Dreamweaver · Dreamweaver

And the Lord said to Jacob "Come forth and you will receive eternal life". But Jacob came fifth and got a toaster.

dorian · dorian

A police officer called the station on his radio. "I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped." "Have you arrested the woman?" "Not yet. The floor's still wet." [url]http://clubadventist.com/forum...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

My Long Search for my Ideal Job 1. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate. 2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. 3. After that, I tried being a tailor, but wasn't suited for it mainly be...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The Recession we had to have. (Preview) The recession had hit the elderly country couple harder than most and they had fallen on very hard times. Sarah offers to help by going out on the streets.Hubby Phill protests feebly, but Sarah goes out. The next morning he's counting her takings. There's $34.50. Which lousy bugger gave you 50 cents...	dishlicker	0	830	07:46 PM Oct 7, 2015 by dishlicker
	Gun Shearer (Preview) The gun shearer had been invited to the main homestead for the end of season evening meal. The woman of the house a very distinguished matron enquired, would you care to wash your hands before dinner. He replied no thanks mam i already washed them over against the fence.	dishlicker	0	884	07:17 PM Oct 7, 2015 by dishlicker
	A Rose... (Preview) An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great, I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What i...	aussie_paul	0	840	04:03 PM Oct 7, 2015 by aussie_paul
	A Retired Husband (Preview) *RETIRED HUSBAND* After retiring, George's wife insisted that he accompany her on her trips to TESCO. (a British Supermarket Chain) Unfortunately, like most men, George found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, his wife is like most women - she loves to browse....	Peter1059	0	857	02:15 PM Oct 7, 2015 by Peter1059
	LITTLE JOHNNY;; (Preview) Little Johnny walked into class every morning with a black eye.After a number of times of this happening, the teacher became increasingly worried and asked him about it.Johnny's answer was: "Our house is very small miss. Me, my mother and my father, we sleep on the same bed. Every night my fat...	justcruisin01	0	770	12:39 PM Oct 7, 2015 by justcruisin01
	The nun that swore (Preview) A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it." "When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder. "Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go...	Woody n Sue	1	1033	07:38 PM Oct 6, 2015 by iana
	2 Irishmen (Preview) Two Irishmen were waiting at the bus stop when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of turf. Jimmy said, Im gonna do that when I win the lottery. What's that then? asks Mikey. Send me lawn away to be mowed." Aussie Paul. -- Edited by aussie_paul on Tuesday 6th of October 2015 03:58:22 PM...	aussie_paul	2	945	06:22 PM Oct 6, 2015 by Blues Man
	That makes sense!!! (Preview)	nimrod	0	664	10:06 PM Oct 5, 2015 by nimrod
	Be aware of wax jobs .. (Preview)	Aus-Kiwi	1	956	08:00 PM Oct 5, 2015 by Blues Man
	Hard of hearing (Preview) Hard of Hearing "Doctor, I think my wife is getting hard of hearing." "I'll have my nurse make an appointment for her, In the meantime, there's a simple, informal test you can run to give us an idea how bad the problem is. Here's what you do: start out about 40 feet away from her and in a nor...	Young Simmo	0	833	06:20 PM Oct 4, 2015 by Young Simmo
	Don't muck about with us oldies (Preview) A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 32...	Young Simmo	0	751	06:16 PM Oct 4, 2015 by Young Simmo
	May offend....I was offended.... (Preview) ..just back from 3 weeks fishing and vanning Port Victoria and Wallaroo/Yorke Peninsula..showing my granddaughter how to fish and the places I lived in a past life........thought I would submit a few to offend as usual...lol.... 1. A Mother's Love: A little boy says to his mother "Mommy how c...	Goldfinger	0	887	03:19 PM Oct 4, 2015 by Goldfinger
	C.R.A.F.T (Preview)	Woody n Sue	0	735	05:12 PM Oct 3, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Doctors examination (Preview) As the doctor began his examination of an elderly slightly deaf patient he placed his stethoscope on her chest he instructed "big breaths " "yes they us to be" she remorsfully replied	Woody n Sue	0	749	05:04 PM Oct 3, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	You Remind Me of My Son... (Preview) Walking through a supermarket, a young man noticed an old lady following him around. He ignored her for a while, but when he got to the checkout line, she got in front of him. Pardon me, she said. Im sorry if Ive been staring, but you look just like my son who died recently. Im sorry for your loss, the...	aussie_paul	0	688	11:16 AM Oct 2, 2015 by aussie_paul
	Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid (Preview) AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST. AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, "...	Woody n Sue	0	1190	10:40 PM Oct 1, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	JOKES - ENJOY! (Preview) A man and woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" Neighbours feared him. The old ma...	aussie_paul	1	1294	08:27 PM Sep 30, 2015 by Felicia
	Religious joke (Preview) And the Lord said to Jacob "Come forth and you will receive eternal life". But Jacob came fifth and got a toaster.	Dreamweaver	0	812	07:48 PM Sep 30, 2015 by Dreamweaver
	Wet floor (Preview) A police officer called the station on his radio. "I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped." "Have you arrested the woman?" "Not yet. The floor's still wet." [url]http://clubadventist.com/forum...	dorian	2	890	05:53 PM Sep 30, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	My Long Search for my Ideal Job... (Preview) My Long Search for my Ideal Job 1. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate. 2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. 3. After that, I tried being a tailor, but wasn't suited for it mainly be...	aussie_paul	2	960	01:12 PM Sep 30, 2015 by grahos
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