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Little Johnny strikes again
(Preview)
LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN!! The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.' The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinat...
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Dodge
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0
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827
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Random Thoughts For The 60’s and over
(Preview)
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller! Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet! I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off! Old age is coming at a real...
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The Doo crew
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3
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1096
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Little Johnny
(Preview)
A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throu...
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Hendo
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0
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761
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I think for the weaker s e x . Economy caravanning ..
(Preview)
Hmm who on here would this match aha
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Aus-Kiwi
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1
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799
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Power Outage
(Preview)
We had a power outage at my house this morning and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad, ham radio & my new surround sound music system were all shut down. Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat and to top it off it was raining outside, so I couldn't play golf. I went into the kitchen to make cof...
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Peter1059
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1
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824
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He's my brother
(Preview)
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?Eight, the boy replied.The man continued, Do you know what these are used for?The boy replied, Not exact...
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Hoodathunkit
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0
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881
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if you love pets, you'll love this video
(Preview)
http://pickle.ninemsn.com.au/2015/06/16/09/44/guilty-dog-tries-to-subtly-slide-from-trouble
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Lesley F
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0
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618
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Slide
(Preview)
Three men at the top of a slide. Told that whatever they shout as they slide down they'll land in at the bottom. The first man slides down and shouts "Money". He lands in a huge pile of notes. The second man slides down and shouts "women". He lands surrounded by beautiful women. The...
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Cadpete
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0
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786
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Old Butch
(Preview)
Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young' pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters...
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Hendo
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1
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1027
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I Love You Sweetheart !
(Preview)
A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husband. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"All the women raised their hands.Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"Som...
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Weevil
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0
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753
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Birth control for grandma
(Preview)
The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new Doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.As the doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescripti...
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Yarra
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0
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703
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Half Price
(Preview)
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Supermarket. The husband picks up a ...case of Carlton Draught and puts it in their cart. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 12 cans', he replies. 'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife, and so h...
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Possum3
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1
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730
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Daughter to Dad TEXTING Communication in Todays Generation
(Preview)
Daddy, I am coming home to get married soon, so get out your check book. LOLI'm in love with a boy who is far away from me.As you know, I am in Australia, and he lives in Scotland. We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp, he proposed to me on Skype, and now we've had tw...
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Yarra
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0
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836
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The truth, the whole truth and nothing...........
(Preview)
Gianni Poggio, an elderly Italian man who lives on theoutskirts of Positano, Italy, recently went to the local church forconfession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said:"Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from ourneighbo...
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Magnarc
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0
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731
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Funny and accurate
(Preview)
The following is by Douglas Adams of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" fame. "Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the bottom half of the planet. It is recognizable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an enorm...
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Possum3
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1
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815
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He's Now A Believer....
(Preview)
He's Now a believer ! From now on, I'll believe their is a God .... An Atheist decided to go to a Religious Revival Centre for the first time, to see what it was all about. He sat down and the Preacher came up to him, laid his hands on his hands and said: "By the will of God, you will walk tod...
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Weevil
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1
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1660
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IPAD
(Preview)
I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century," she said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad." I can tell you this. That fly never knew what hit him.
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Peter1059
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0
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673
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Never be Late
(Preview)
A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they wai...
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Peter1059
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0
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622
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Inexperienced Curry Taster
(Preview)
Inexperienced Curry Taster
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Peter1059
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1
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848
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You might not know this.....
(Preview)
but a lot of non-living objects are actually male or female. Here are some examples........ FREEZER BAGS: They are male.....because they hold everything in but you can see right through them. PHOTOCOPIERS: They are female....because once turned off it takes a while to warm them up again. TYRE...
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June
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1
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697
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