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It"s Easter
(Preview)
Have a Happy and Safe Easter Moorey
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Moorey
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1
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1002
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Drama in the Serengeti
(Preview)
A couple on an African Safari witnessed a small antelope being chased down by a cheetah. While the kill was about to happen before their eyes, the husband casually remarked, Ill bet the antelope gets away. The wife answered, If that antelope survives this one, Ill give you sex every day for the rest o...
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kiwijims
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3
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1460
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Wise Italian Grandfather
(Preview)
An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ... 38 revolver, so you will always remember me.""But grandpa, I really don't like guns ... How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?""You lissina me,...
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Yarra
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0
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1135
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Gym advice for seniors.
(Preview)
I was working out at the gym when I spotted a sweet young thing walking in. I asked the trainer standing next to me, "What machine should I use to impress that lady over there? The trainer looked me over and said; "I would recommend the ATM in the lobby."
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Possum3
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0
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1063
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New USB Stick For Mature Travelers
(Preview)
Shortly it will become compulsory for senior citizens to carry not only their ID, but also their insurance documents, their prescription list, a compact version of their medical file, the statement declaring if they want to be resuscitated after a heart attack, stroke, etc. etc. Consequently, a...
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Moorey
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1
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1337
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Quotes by famous people
(Preview)
'There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL500.' Lynn Lavner 'It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.' George Burns 'Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake...
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June
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0
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1189
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Healthy Diet
(Preview)
Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza. How to prepare Tofu: 1. Throw it in the trash. 2. Grill some Meat. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider...
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Possum3
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1
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1212
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Reincarnation
(Preview)
Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell fast asleep. When Brian awoke a few hours later he found a strange man was standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowi...
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Possum3
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0
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1149
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Her Well-Kept Secret...
(Preview)
A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a locked chest on top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For al...
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aussie_paul
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0
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1071
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ASSUMPTIONS.....
(Preview)
A woman was in a coma; she had been in it for months. One day nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement. They w...
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goldfinger
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0
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1015
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This would be the same in America and Europe!!!
(Preview)
Be on your guard ... Australian police have just issued a warning about keys.They warn just 4 keys that can open 87% of cars and 99% of houses in Australia.The keys you need to be on the lookout for are: Dar-keys, Pak-keys, Bi-keys and Jun-keys Aussie Paul.
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aussie_paul
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1
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1284
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Happy St Patricks Day!
(Preview)
In honour of this day we thought we would kick start the morning with a funny Irish joke.This one is about a young Irish man going for a job interviewYoung man Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the s...
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aussie_paul
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0
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922
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Pick on the Irish St Patrick's day...
(Preview)
Two paddies were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one man digging a hol...
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aussie_paul
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0
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1271
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some amusing cartoons
(Preview)
Just for a laugh - have many more if you want me to post them.............
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Bruce and Bev
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4
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1499
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Recently, the Townsville Police Department
(Preview)
Recently, the Townsville Police Department ran an e-mail forum with the local community (a question and answer exchange) with the topic being, "Community Policing." One of the civilian e-mail participants posed the following question: "I would like to know how it is possibl...
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aussie_paul
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3
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1633
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A bit of support for the ladies...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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1099
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AFL Vs NRL
(Preview)
AFL vs. NRL...This will open your eyes! 36 have been accused of spouse abuse. 7 have been arrested for fraud. 19 have been accused of writing bad cheques. 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses. 3 have done time for assault. 71, repeat 71 cannot get a credit card due to b...
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Woody2
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8
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1819
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Fifty Shades of Grey
(Preview)
Fifty Shades of Grey The missus bought a Paperback,down Shepton Mallet way,I had a look inside her bagTwas Fifty Shades of Grey.Well I just left her to it,And at ten I went to bed.An hour later she appeared;The sight filled me with dread.In her left hand she held a rope;And in her right a whip!She thre...
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aussie_paul
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0
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1232
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Golden Oldie...'The Irish Christening'....
(Preview)
Paddy's pregnant sister was involved in a nasty car accident and was placed into a deep coma. After being in the Coma for nearly six months, she re-gained consciousness and saw she was no longer pregnant. Frantically she asked the Doctor about her baby. The Doctor replied.."All is fine...you...
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goldfinger
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0
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1189
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Who's da Boss?
(Preview)
The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read: "I'm the Boss!" He then attached it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that som...
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Magnarc
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1
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1205
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