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A newlywed couple moves into their new house.
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Starts at Sixty Writers VIEW PROFILE394 SHARES Share on facebook A newlywed couple moves into their new house.One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?The husband says, What do I look...
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aussie_paul
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Have a Laugh - Divorce Settlement
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On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things. On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table, by candle-light, he put on some background music and feasted on a pound...
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Gaylehere
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The First Profession.
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A physician, an engineer, and a politician were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions. The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession." ...
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aussie_paul
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JOKES - ENJOY!
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The Battle of the Sexes A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman Which book has helped you most in your life? The woman replied My husbands cheque book!! A prospective husband in a book store: Do you have a book called, Husband the Master of the House? Sales Girl: Sir, Fiction and Com...
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aussie_paul
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937
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Very very quick Divorce needed...
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A Polish man moved to the United States and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyers office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him very quick.The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would d...
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aussie_paul
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A bit of fun
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Woody n Sue
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946
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Good looking daughter
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Woody n Sue
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1150
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Blondes a town full of them
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Dang that didn't work I'll try again -- Edited by Woody n Sue on Saturday 9th of April 2016 07:16:02 PM
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Woody n Sue
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Haircut
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A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car."The boy tho...
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Yarra
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JOKES - ENJOY!
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Yesterday I told my wife to relax and embrace her mistakes. She cried and then hugged me. . Man throws his Mother-in-Law into a crocodile infested pit and gets charged with animal cruelty by the RSPCA. . THE SILENT TREATMENT A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were...
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aussie_paul
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Room 8
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One day, 3 men died and went to heaven. "Religion?" God's secretary asked the first man. "Jewish," the man replied. "Okay, go to room 23, but be very quiet when you go past room 8," the secretary said. "Religion?" he asked the second man. "Muslim." "Go to room 10, but be very quiet when you go past room 8."...
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Hendo
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Room 8
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One day, 3 men died and went to heaven. "Religion?" God's secretary asked the first man. "Jewish," the man replied. "Okay, go to room 23, but be very quiet when you go past room 8," the secretary said. "Religion?" he asked the second man. "Muslim." "Go to room 10, but be very quiet when you go past room 8."...
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Hendo
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925
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The Fishing Rod.....
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A woman goes into Discount Fishing Supplies to purchase a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't really know which one to get, so she just picks a combo set, and goes over to the counter. The salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades. She says, "Excuse me. Can you tell me anything a...
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goldfinger
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967
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A Tearful Post Surgery Question...
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"You'll be fine", the Doctor said after finishing the young lady's surgery. "But", she asked earnestly, "how long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again Doctor?".... The Surgeon seemed to pause.... ....and his face reddened as a small tear ran down his cheek from the very corner of...
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goldfinger
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JOKES - ENJOY!
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Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 87 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a Nursing Home at about $4,000 per month. My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old, and we have no idea where he is. I like long walks, especially when the...
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aussie_paul
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CentreLink
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A young bloke with his pants hanging half off his a*se, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the Centrelink office to sign some paperwork. He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just H A T E being on the DOLE. I'd really rather have a job.. I don't...
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Possum3
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Oops, careful what you say to the Grandkids…
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A 5-year-old boy visited his grandmother one day.Playing with his toys in her bedroom while Grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, Grandma, how come you dont have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?Grandma replied, Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day l...
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aussie_paul
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858
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He's fairly certain she's hard of hearing.......
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Kev feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to, and thought she may need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how he should approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss her problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea...
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goldfinger
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900
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Boom Boom!
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A blonde was selling her pet Python on Ebay. A bloke just rang up and asked if it was big. She said:.."Its simply massssive". He said: "How many feet?" She said: None -it's a fricken snake!"........... Hoo Roo
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goldfinger
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Nelson at Trafalgar...in 2016......Politically Correct.....brilliant......
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Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy." Hardy: Aye, Aye Sir." Nelson: "Hold on, this is not what I dictated to Flags. "..........What's the meaning of this?" Hardy: "Sorry Sir." Nelson, -'reading the Signals aloud'- : "England expects every person to do his or her duty regardless of race, gender,sexu...
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goldfinger
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